Not beautiful but utterly nuts
I have had far more than my fair share of scrapes with emotionally challenged ladies, some of whom can be described as beautiful but mostly not unfortunately. I appear to have been born with a bright neon sign above my head saying "Nutters Here!".

One however takes the proverbial biscuit...

Ex-Mrs PJM:

1) Owning a vast menagerie of animals which I was expected to fund and also clean as she was unable to lift the heavy cages. Scrubbing a cage clean from rat-piss every week soon loses it's appeal, not to mention finding that the snakes kept in an aquarium in the bedroom had escaped in the middle of the night.

2) Causing a massive scene at a friends engagement do. Why? Because I had the audacity to talk to my best mate, who ex-Mrs PJM didn't like. Indeed, she had a strong dislike of most of my friends, who stopped inviting us out because she'd invariably offend someone.

3) Insisting that there was something badly wrong with me because I was less than enthusiastic about bum fun, being tied up and flogged, not to mention my cool response to the sight of my sagging/overflowing wife squeezed into all manner of shiny gear, looking about as erotic as a freshly trussed turkey in a butchers shop window.

4) When asked to accompany me on a course of relationship counselling in an effort to save the marriage I was informed that I should seek counselling alone seeing as I was the source of all the problems within the marriage.

5) Her frequent verbal abuse in front of friends, relatives, colleagues, mortgage advisers etc.

6) Being told when I could and when I could not exercise.

7) Sleeping with one of my mates while I was out of town one weekend, then telling me it was all my fault. And then having a go at me because none of our friends would talk to her afterward. Like, er yeah.

8) Upon my decision to move out into my brother's vacant home I agreed to pay her an allowance money to help with her paying for our house, she helped herself to about a grand's worth of my salary over two months to pay my shre of £250 mortgage and £175 of council tax. While she had over twelve fucking grand in the bank and treated herself to a new car.

9) As she "didn't do" washing up (fair enough as she cooked dinner) I was responsible for scrubbing the dishes. One evening a glass broke in the bowl, gouging a inch and a half long gash in my hand that required stitches. The very next day I was handed a pair of yellow marigolds, a size too small and ordered to wash up - wounded hands not withstanding.

10) She had personal habits which would make a monkey blush including peeing in the shower, not scrubbing the bowl clean after use, the daily obsession with plucking at her minge with a pair of tweezers and discarding the resulting fuzz all over the sofa.

The list goes on and on, much like this post really but it's healthy to talk. My mother in law was lovely though, bizarrely enough.

Apologies for width of ex.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 17 Nov 2006, 13:55, Reply)