This book changed my lifeThe Goat writes, "Some books have made a huge impact on my life." It's true. It wasn't until the b3ta mods read the Flashman novels that we changed from mild-mannered computer operators into heavily-whiskered copulators, poltroons and all round bastards in a well-known cavalry regiment.
What books have changed the way you think, the way you live, or just gave you a rollicking good time?
Friendly hint: A bit of background rather than just a bunch of book titles would make your stories more readable
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chthonic, Thu 15 May 2008, 15:11)
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"Prezza" By John PrescottIt's a rollercoaster ride of fun, frolics, politics, self-induced vomiting, barely coherent sentences, cuckoldry, all steeped in pseudo-believable quasi-socialist politics.
There are many snippets of this tome which caused me to seriously rethink my life, here are a selection of the best.
1. When talking about his eating disorder, Prescott observes.
"I was in the Golden Buddah in Whitechapel. Having eaten my way through 36 courses, I was tempted with the deep fried apple fritters in lard, but settled for a wafer thin mint. Then I was overcome with the urge to purge myself of all this avarace to which I had partaken. I remember stumbling semi-coherently to the toilets, and choosing a cubicle near the window. Once safely ensconced within, I inserted my burly digits into my cavernous mouth and pressed them to their target.
It would be an understatement to suggest that the ensuing tsunami of semi-digested Eastern Fayre was of gargantuan proportions. Lets just say that once I filled the pan to the brim, I hastily moved onto the next cubicle and filled that one too."
A lesson there for everyone, I feel.
2. On his affair with Tracey Temple..
"She was lying prostrate on my desk, legs akimbo, skirt hitched up around her waist, her hairy haven glistening in the half light like a badly packed kebab.
I resisted the urge to pop out for a greek sandwich and after 15 minutes of searching for my manhood under half a ton of blubber, grasped the old chap firmly betwixt thumb and forefinger and pressed him to his goal. She moaned and writhed under me, so I transferred my not inconsiderable bulk off of her and onto the desk and she was able to breathe again.
'Is it in yet?' She enquired.
(, Thu 15 May 2008, 18:36, 2 replies)
Ah, Prescott...His most accurate political statement in his term of office was referring to Tony Blair as a "Little shit".
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 9:23, closed)
Badly packed kebabAnother gem from the profanisaurus
Have a clicky
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 23:46, closed)
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