Famous books I couldn't read
Crime and Punishment (Dostoyevsky) - so boring I that wanted to die.
Pride and Prejudice - never got past the first page of smuggery.
The Naked Lunch (Burroughs) - he wrote it on drugs, see? That's why it's incoherent bollocks.
Anything by Faulkner - Nobel prize-winner and acclaimed genius. Three pages and I'm asleep.
Daniel Deronda (Eliot) - 1000 pages that can be summarised thus: "Am I Jewish? Yes."
Anything by Henry James - quite the most boring writer of any century. Some call him subtle - for me he's soporific.
Huckleberry Finn - Twain was a great writer, but this is a kid's book and it's shit.
Anything by EM Forster - dull, boring, slow, vapid, tedious...
Harry Potter - two paragraphs in and I realise I'm reading a book loved by eight-year-olds.
The Diaries of Franz Kafka - "Went to see a play - didn't like it much" repeated 400 times. No wonder he never had any friends.
Finnegan's Wake (Joyce) - "Here's the idea - why don't I make up my own language and see if anyone can stick with it for 600 pages..."
(frankspencer, Tue 20 May 2008, 17:06, 11 replies)

I'm with you on:
Crime & Punishment - sat near my bed for about a year before I hid it away.
Finnegan's Wake - I was thinking about posting 'in the style of' but then thought better of it.
I'd add 'Lord of the Rings' (yawn) - now there's a trilogy of films that's better than the book! (takes shelter under desk)
Thomas Hardy - Hardy Ha Ha.
Brett Easton Ellis - threw away 'Less Than Zero' as it disgusted me so much - wouldn't even give it to a charity shop.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 20 May 2008, 17:16, closed)

definitely
a touch of the emperor's new clothes about some so-called classics.

i'd have to add "far from the madding crowd". i've always loathed that book. an entire chapter the man rambles on and on describing his painfully boring "hero".

THEN, to rub it in, he finishes with:

"in short, he was 28 and a bachelor"

well why not say that in the first place, you turgid old windbag??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 20 May 2008, 17:35, closed)

Catch 22
I had a similar experience with Catch 22. It just didn't read very well for me and I had to put it down after about 50 pages.
(SillyMoo, Tue 20 May 2008, 19:17, closed)

Pride and bastard Prejudice.
Couldn't bring myself to finish it, but apparently reading the first and last chapters provides you with 90% of the story.

It *almost* put me off Wuthering Heights as some fuck-clump had told me they were similar, but read it anyway and loved it. Not sure what they were basing this assumption on, they both have words?
(Dok Zombie Cash, gash, pie and mash., Tue 20 May 2008, 19:48, closed)

Dickens.

( NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Tue 20 May 2008, 20:16, closed)

Sorry to be pedantic, but
it's Finnegans Wake.

No apostrophe see? It's supposed to be a joke.

It's not a very good joke mind you.
(Schrodinger's Goldfish, Tue 20 May 2008, 21:55, closed)

Add to that the poetry of Gerald Manley Hopkins
When I was first faced with this as a fresh faced teenager I couldn't stand the God-botherer and even now it just irritates me. I don't care how bloody good it is!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 20 May 2008, 22:47, closed)

The Dickens bit
Especially Bleak House, had to do it for my English 'A' Level. That was hard work, believe me.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Wed 21 May 2008, 0:21, closed)

Huck Finn?
You had me until you dissed Huck Finn. Maybe you have to be an American to get it? Definitely not a kid book, although it's used in many school curricula over here (and regularly protested/banned for it's liberal use of the n word). You might try thinking of Jim as a special kind of chav - maybe it will all be much clearer.
(mortdubois lacks imagination, doesn't play well with others, Wed 21 May 2008, 0:40, closed)

Huck
I know it's a classic school text in the US, but I much prefer Twain's adult writing - his travel books are so intensely ironic and satirical. Anyone who disagrees with Christianity should read his "Innocents Abroad".

It's pretty much accepted that the structure of Huck Finn is seriously flawed, but that kind of thing is overlooked in national greats. Twain is painted as one of the originators of the American voice, so he can do no wrong (ditto Whitman) - same with Shakespeare in the UK.
(frankspencer, Wed 21 May 2008, 9:06, closed)

@Belmfordsux & Ninjabadger
Honestly - give Bleak House another go, watch the BBC production first perhaps, a very fine production, then read it and enjoy. If you don't cry when Joe the crossing-sweeper dies then you're not human!!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 21 May 2008, 10:27, closed)