errrrh hyurrrrrrrrrrrrh yehhhhh
The best stories i can remember of drunkeness happened at leeds music festival, on different years.

The thing goes that on the thursday me and my mates arrive and proceed to get so unbelievably wankered - it ends up like our video we posted on the newsletter (here's the vid) - but outside, including fire and tents.

A few stories that stick out in my mind is the time when my mate (jimmie) poured some blue bols on my other mate's (swift's) pants, so when he was out watching bands, we took jimmie's favourite hoodie out, paul used another mate's (neil's) razor and proceeded to shave his pubic hair onto it, we pissed on the coat, spat on it, poured spaghetti, beer, all different kinds of food and waited till he came back, but we didn't stop laughing till he saw the coat, then we pissed ourselves even more, it was one of those 'he was so angry' moments, he simply didn't do anything, and just quietly cried. Funnily enough neil still uses that razor, and jimmie still wears that hoodie, washed hopefully :D

Other leeds activities include pouring burning candle wax on our penises to see 'how hard we are' - the swift drew some eyes on his balls and kept getting them out to 'say hello' - me being pissed up and throwing bottles of piss with no top in any random direction (just for a laugh) - covering my arm in deodorant and burning it. One of our mates called Gary always went to sleep early, so we had this big inflatable couch, so when we were suitably drunk, we twatted his tent with it and kept running into it. i've been sick everywhere though at that site, there's so many cloudy yet wonderful memories, did i mention fire breathing with jack daniels?

The only other story that sticks out in my mind is a beer festival trip i did to Hamburg with some mates, i smashed the wardrobe two minutes into getting into the room, i climbed in to see if it would take my weight and it didn't, it made the loudest SNAP noise and just collapsed, so a botch job fixed it and the inside shelf was held up with towels i stole from the boat (don't ask) - i then went into the bathroom and broke the window because i didn't know it was locked and forced it, snapping the lock off and leaving the window open permanently. Going out that night we came back from the beer festival and decided to change shirts and go back out, me and one mate got chatting to this norwegian bloke and went looking for bars, we found this one bar that did a drink a euro, and got very very drunk.
This was all well and good but we went back with all our mates the next night and the place was packed, it was our last night so me and my mate did every drink they had on the list, and we were halfway through the list again and we decided it was time to go, we were so fucked, i tried walking out with a bottle of lager, the 'doorman' grabbed me, said some german bollocks so i thought i was in for a kicking, he took the bottle from me and started to pour it into a plastic cup! Fantastic, i motioned thankyou and waddled to subway, got in there, immediately dropped the drink and it went fucking everywhere, it went halfway up this lads leg, so me being wankered said "i'd say sorry but you don't understand a fucking word i'm saying you foreign cunt, so bollocks to you" - he turned round and said "actually mate, i'm from norwich" - i apologised the best i could and escaped unscathed, i woke up the next morning with probably 15+ two pint stines i had robbed from the 'fest all over our room, and i was in the bathroom, a duvet over me with my head under the toilet bowl and half a subway next to me unwrapped and half eaten. oh and vomit everywhere including my t-shirt, so i changed my t-shirt, wrapped up the subway, packed up, got on the coach, ate the subway at the ferry terminal and went home.... i fucking love holidays :D
(stomm, Fri 19 Mar 2004, 4:30, Reply)