Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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IRA invade sleepy Cambridgeshire village townLike many small boys my eight year old brother George had a healthy obession with the SAS and the like. After a weekend spent driving tanks with the Household Cavalry he returned to the sleepy village of Abbotsley in Cambridgeshire equipped with a Thermonuclear Gas Mask, balaclavas, combats etc. Dressed in full regalia the following week he went to call for his best mate Michael and the boy soldiers set off to go play 'war' on the village green. Whilst walking past a neighbour the two boys waved and didn't bat an eyelid when the man cowered behind a hedge and then ran inside his house. After about 20 minutes the two of them returned to my Mum's for some Sunny D when an police helicopter started to buzz the cottage. Within seconds the whole village was sealed off with armed police everywhere. George and Chris were casual about the whole thing until they realised that it was them they were after at which point they shat themselves. After a severe telling off the two boys promised to be more careful next time. Luckily the twat who called the police in the first place never lived it down so all's well that ends well.
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jason cake, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 21:36,
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