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This is a question Breakin' The Law

'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'

(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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A Warning
Me and a mate went on a hitchhiking/camping trip to Devon when we were about 16. The tent stank badly of unhygenic teenager's mouldy old socks so we got some joss sticks to burn as an antidote. We were stopped by the local plod in Barnstaple one afternoon. The packet of joss sticks was sticking out of a pocket in my rucksack. The kindly old copper, pointing at the combustable incense devices and looking me straight in the eye, gave us a warning which has always stayed with me...

"You know what them things lead to, don' you?"

He didn't arrest us, but it certainly taught us a lesson and neither of us became junkies. Not after a warning like that.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 11:24, closed)

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