Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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MotorbikingAs with most other tales regaled here, I was sloshed. Quite so.
I am busy driving my bike home. It's a 900cc, so not an insignificant machine. In my, erm, condition, I fail to notice the roadblock in front of me. How you don't notice yellow cones and flashing blue lights right accross the road, I don't know. But I didn't.
So I drove into the roadblock. Cops run up to me, one has his truncheon out and hits at the back of my helmet. Lucky me the blow merely glances off.
I decide, bugger this for a lark, and leave a black line on the road so fast do I piss off.
There's a traffic-light at the 100 metres down the road. The light is red. So, I reason, I'll stop like a law-abiding citizen - no sense in breaking the law even if running from the police, is there.
The coppers get in their cars, stop behind me, and as they were all out of the cars the lights went green. Which had me screaming off, and them standing around outside.
I took a few dodgy corners and slid my bike down someone's lawn behind a bush. Had a nic nap. Drove home.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 13:50, Reply)
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