"Hey, how about a quick game of
'Guess what your sister had for breakfast yesterday'?

Can you taste the bacon?"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 20:39, Reply)

Dad Couldn't Stifle A Laugh
When my dad explained the 'birds and the bees' (which finally explained a lot of cryptic jokes I had been hearing in school) he finished by saying that he was always available to chat, always understanding, and by all means, please confide in him about anything.

A week later, I confided that I felt 'tingling' in the balls. He replied: "Tingling? Tingling?" Then he burst out laughing.

Understanding, my ass. They still tingle, and I don't know why.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 20:38, 1 reply)

*Knock knock*
I'm sure your tonsils shouldn't sound like that.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 20:36, 2 replies)

"I don't give a shit what you think, I'm going to come in your mouth and that's an end of it...
...wait a minute, you're not my sister!"
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 20:20, 2 replies)

How's about
you bob up and down on my member like a ship rounding cape horn in inclement weather.
(Turtlenuts, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 20:10, 11 replies)

"I'll make you some cream of mushroom soup for dinner."

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:57, Reply)

"Mmmmmm, have you just had the elastic bands changed on your braces?"

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:55, Reply)

"I had to put up with this twenty times a day for two and a half years, honey"
"so surely you can manage once a month."
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:54, Reply)

"And now we've splurged over into another page.
So, y'know, might as well echo that success...in your mouth."
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:47, Reply)

knock knock
"Who's there,?"
"My cock, now get on with it"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:45, Reply)

"If I pull out before I come, it won't have got clean from being up your bum yet."

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:38, Reply)

na na na na na na na na
splatman!
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:38, Reply)

"this is going to be
the best christmas ever!"
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:31, Reply)

"Ha! You've fallen victim to my cunning plan. I placed a hefty dose of knups in your evening coffee
and now you need three doses of the antidote to make it safe or you shall die! What is it, you ask? Why, just turn the letters around to reveal the substance that could save your life!"
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:15, Reply)

you could still breathe through your nose

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:12, Reply)

"How about if we call it 'firing the baby cannons at your bow porthole'?"

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:09, Reply)

here comes the fire engine
nee naw nee naw. Turn on the foam hose! whoosh
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:07, Reply)

"For some reason I don't sing the Pokemon evolution theme when I come, if it's from a blowjob"
"and I know you're really tired of hearing that..."
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:07, 2 replies)

Choke you to death? Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take...

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:04, 28 replies)

You know how much you like Yakult
Well its quite similar

Hang on baby, here it comes. Uh uh UHH mmm Danone!
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:02, 1 reply)

Hey QOTW
I've got a question for you too...

Why are you still here?!?


(Turtlenuts, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:01, Reply)

"Have you got a Prince Albert wrapped round your tonsils?"

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 19:00, Reply)

Will Harry be on the boat
Or down your pipe
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:58, Reply)

You know how you like dragons? I've got this great trick about an angry one.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:33, Reply)

well if not your mouth
What about your ear, or even your eye
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:32, Reply)

well what about
I catch it in my hand and then try to throw it in from here?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:26, Reply)

Dammit SVLA!
Now I'm going to have to come round and jizz in YOUR mouth....er, I mean not, er, no, 'course...
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:12, 2 replies)

you know those things
That dentists use to wedge your mouth open, well guess what I got off ebay
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:11, Reply)

I promise, now, that I will never make another come-in-your-mouth joke on this board as long as I live.
I think we've made them all anyway. Gentlemen? We can rest easy now, secure in our collective triumph.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:10, 4 replies)

"It would mean so much to me if you did"
"I don't like looking at all that blood and green stuff that comes out."
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:05, Reply)