This is a pearoast from three years ago, but I feel it merits dusting down and re-airing
I have a mate who is a psychiatric nurse. His job has stresses that I can barely comprehend; many and various are the tales of psychotic patients doing amusing/amazing/appalling things. To compensate for this, he does of course do massive drugs at the weekends...

So, bright one Monday morning, a rather worse-for-wear psychie turns up at work. He's barely conscious, with parts of his brain still asleep, and others orbiting somewhere in the vicinity of Neptune.

The entrance door opens onto a staircase leading upwards. As he opens the door, he sees movement above, and instinctively catches the object that's flying through the air toward him. Now I have to say at this point that "coordinated" is not a word that I associate with this guy - he's more like a shambling pile of dirty laundry that leaves a trail of fag papers, knocked-over mugs and broken appliances behind him - so this was a pretty lucky catch.

Especially as the flying object turns out to be a baby.

Some muppet on the night-shift had given a patient access to her child, which turned out to be one of their less impressive (and career-changing) judgement calls. My mate says that he's never sobered up quite so quickly: spangled to straight in 0.00005 of a second.

So, I don't know who you are, little baby, but you had the luckiest of escapes that morning...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:51, 8 replies)

Please don't say 'pearoast', it makes me frightfully cross.
Thanks
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:01, closed)

In fact I hesitated - I agree the gag has worn a little thin.
So what shall we say instead?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:30, closed)

Dunno. You could just say repost like an adult.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:35, closed)

If I was an adult, I wouldn't be here with you lot

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 15:48, closed)

a/s/l?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 19:04, closed)

... and then dropkicks it out the window.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:35, closed)

my thoughts exactly

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:53, closed)

I will click *like* as often as you care to repost this
so there.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:55, closed)