Bullshit and BullshittersWe've had questions about lies and liars in the past, but this time we're asking about the sort of fantasist who constantly claims they've got a helicopter in the garden or was "second onto the balcony at the Iranian Embassy siege". Tell us about the cobblers you've been told, or the complete lies you've come out with.
Thanks to dozer for the suggestion
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55)
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ShitfellasTwo brothers I used to be in Sixth Form with were convinced they were the rural West-Midlands equivalent of the Krays. This mainly manifested itself through fairly low-level thievery and boasting that they could get you anything you wanted 'Drugs, computer games that aren't out yet, anything mate... we can even get you a shotgun.'
I saw straight through it and ignored their nonsense, but a few lads in the year believed them and got together to pool their money and buy a shitload of weed ('top quality, mate, best you can buy. Bands send up from London for it... honest') from some 'big guy locally' who was, of course, their mate.
Next week comes around. No weed. 'Yeah - we haven't been round yet. He's been having problems with the pigs and he's got to lay low. Take it easy.'
End of the week. Still no weed. Some of the lads ask for their money back. It's not forthcoming.
Anyway - it being a small town - we quickly find out from someone in school, who's mum was a copper, that the brothers had been robbed that weekend on a local estate. Rather than nipping round their non-existent best mate the Drug Baron's lair to pick up a load of weed, they'd driven around the estate in their mum's car and asked the first dodgy-looking bloke they'd come across if he could get them some weed. They had then agreed to HAND HIM THE MONEY while he disappeared into the estate to pick up the drugs. Naturally, he'd just fucked off, probably laughing himself silly at having ripped off a couple of spotty teenage lads with no common sense.
The best bit about it? Apparently, when they'd reported it to the the police, and some gentle prompting from a astute PC had led them to admit that they had, in fact, indeed been trying to buy drugs, the older of the two had broken down crying because he was convinced that he was going to get a criminal record and wouldn't be able to get on the catering course at the local college, which his Mum would be gutted about!
They both ended up having to get jobs in the local supermarket to pay back the lost money... which isn't very Gangsta when you think about it.
(, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 13:22, 1 reply)
Brilliant!Every school year has them.
(, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 14:27, closed)
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