Wedding Vows
Last summer at a bar in Belfast (Maine) I wound up talking to a young guy and his best man who were out on some kind of 2 man bachelor party mission, and they were about as drunk as I've ever seen anyone. I happen to really dislike long conversations with people I've never met, and my normal reaction is to start saying the most confused senseless bullshit I can think of, hoping that the other parties involved will give up. I am aware that this is a real dick type of move.

The groom to be was worried about reading his vows, which he had yet to finish composing, so I told him not to worry and that I'd just given a best-man type speech a few weeks before and it was easy. I said he should try to keep it simple, and anything over 45 minutes would probably start to lose people at most weddings. My speech was closer to an hour, but I had practiced it more and it had lots of quotes from Cicero, Noam Chomsky, Oprah, and some others. I thought they would be chuckling and walking away at that point, but they seemed kind of paralyzed, with fear I guess, and they started asking for more details and advice for what to say. I kept it up for a good long while, until it became clear that my plan had backfired as we were still talking. In the end they were relieved to hear that vows were not hour long epics, and I was relieved that they did not break my legs.

Does being completely hammered turn off everyone's bullshit detectors like this?
( the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:22, Reply)