Some calls we'd taken plus the patented "Bomb Form"
Asking for a post code from an old biddy ie "May I take your post code please?" resulted in the reply "Why? I've had it for years. You can't have it." We had to convince her for us to borrow it, then tell her that we have given it back at the end of the call. Stupid old twat.

One of the first calls I'd taken in the office was a grumpy old twat who was shouting at everything. I managed to calm him down but he was still not quite following what I was saying, then he suddenly dropped his phone mid-sentence and screamed "FUCK ME, MY SAUSAGES ARE BURNING!!!!!" before legging it out to the kitchen. Don't waste a good packet of Walls on my behalf mate.

One bloke thought it'd be a good laugh to call technical support while taking the cordless phone into the toilet with him, so I could listen to him taking a piss. Nice. I did actually say "No offense mate but I genuinely don't want to listen to you taking a piss, can you put the phone outside the bathroom please?" Fair dos, he must've pinched the end of his cock for a few seconds as he apologized and followed me instructions.

I work for a large company, so when some bloke pretending to have an irish accent called up stating that there was a bomb in the building, I couldn't help but laugh. The guy who took the call shit himself, and it took 50 minutes for the managers to evacuate the building. Just as well it was a hoax; we'd be all blown up to fuck. By the way cheers to the cunt who rung up, it was pissing down that night and about a hundred of us were all huddled into a carpark for an hour late one winter's night suffering from frostbite due to that call.

We've actually got a "Bomb Form" we have to follow for when this happens; can you imagine this?
"You, there's a bomb in the building!!!!"
"Ah ok, I'm just opening the relevant form now. Yes, there it is. Can I take your name please?"
"There's a fucking bomb in your building!!!!"
"...and what does this bomb look like sir?"
"What the fuck???"
"Is it in our Swansea office, or one of the others?"
"....I don't know..."
Who the fuck would want to bomb a callcentre anyway? Except an ex-employee I suppose :p
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 10:53, 2 replies)

Oh, we have the bomb form.
Considering we're informed that any call will last less than 10 seconds, in this time we have to determine the environment from which the caller is ringing us, their tone and demeanour, the location of the bomb and when it will go off. Not easy. We are also meant to try and keep them talking by asking them things like "why are you doing this?" and "would your parents be proud of you?".
( Maladicta, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 17:37, closed)

Most big companies
have 'bomb threat forms'

My company's involves asking them where the bomb is, how to disarm it, then going on to ask for their name, contact number and home address. I love the idea of a confused but obligingly polite bomber listing off his postcode, hanging up and realising 'shit... probably shouldn't have given them the flat number too!'
(McDave, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 18:46, closed)