Celebrations, anniversaries and milestones Willenium says: I just reached the big 10 on b3ta, so tell us your stories of big date milestones from relationships, birthdays, work and life-changing choices.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 14:19)
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Me and my wife have the same birthdayYears ago (about 2005/6) we went away to the south of Switzerland for a few days to celebrate it together. A lovely time was being had until we were about to go to bed and the wife says 'since it's our birthdays in the morning shall we open 1 present each now?'.
This was the moment I realised that I had completely forgotten to get a present for her. I suggested we wait until the morning as I didn't have a card for her and wanted to get one in the morning to give with the presents as she really likes a card with a nice message in it. She agreed. I had a chance to save the day.
Montreaux is a shit place to panic buy a present at 9am in the morning. In the end I decided to spend my way out of trouble and so, an hour later I returned with the following items:- Sunglasses, novelty knickers, a ring, a small mantlepiece ornament, joke t-shirt and a watch. I'd even gotten a few of the items wrapped in the different shops. To me, I'd saved the situation with an eclectic mixture of lovely presents.
She gave me an Ipod which were pretty new out and a really decent present. I gave her my presents. She opened her gifts, looked confused then sad and then started crying.
"You just fucking bought these presents this morning you wanker"
"Funny story love......"
The story had a happy ending however as now whenever it's birthday time or christmas she will simply show me an item and say 'That's my present from you'.
And they say romance is dead!
(off-topic? Couldn't give a fuck)
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sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Fri 3 Oct 2014, 13:44,
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Last!Is it worth it?
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 3 Oct 2014, 13:00,
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This place is fucking wank. (
spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 3 Oct 2014, 9:32,
23 replies)
It's been a week since the last QOTW.\0/
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Oct 2014, 22:45,
1 reply)
Sorry, bit late this week, wife having a baby and all that. Looks like I'm just in time though.Apologies again for the delay, I'll try to get it posted earlier next week.
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Zuowan, Thu 2 Oct 2014, 15:09,
8 replies)
A Birthday Camping TripSome time ago, I was camping with some mates, and it happened to be my birthday. We were spending the morning swimming and climbing at the estuary of a river, and it was a lovely sunny day so I decided to give myself a birthday treat, and took some acid.
I'd been swimming for a while, then as I felt the acid start to do its thing I returned to the beach, to lay on the sand and watch the gulls wheeling and soaring above me. Just as I was getting into this, I became aware of shouting: it seems that the tide had turned, and two girls who were still swimming found that they couldn't get back to the shore, due to the strong undertow.
It was one of those moments when you have to decide what kind of person you are: one who stands there and waits for someone else to act, or one who acts. In this case it was the latter; with my brain fizzing I jumped - still dressed - into the river, and with another's help managed to pull the girls back to shore. We decided that we'd all had enough of the river by now, so we headed back up the cliffs to the campsite. The combination of adrenaline from the rescue, and the blood pumping from climbing the steep path, meant that the drugs were pounding through my system, and by the time I got back to my tent I was pretty damn mashed, barely able to hold a coherent conversation.
Which was a pity, because at that moment my girlfriend's rather straight-laced aunt and uncle - whose land we were camping on - popped up with a surprise birthday cake. Never has "Happy Birthday" seemed like such a long song, as I tried to keep it together and not let them see that my brains were dribbling out of my ears.
Not surprisingly, I remember that day VERY clearly...
(, Thu 2 Oct 2014, 13:49, 4 replies)
It's my birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2CAN!(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 2 Oct 2014, 9:09,
10 replies)
Today celebrating the 20th anniversary of our electrical manufacturing business.We found a way to recycle polystyrene and make it into electrical insulation.
At the time everyone was getting fed up with their purple painted polystyrene ceiling tiles and we didn't need many of these to produce the basic insulation.
At first there was a lot of opposition to our new process but...
...resistance was fewtile.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 2 Oct 2014, 9:08,
4 replies)
for our paper anniversary a few years agoI bought a cute leather bound 40 page 6x4 inch book, with a neat little clasp on it, and filled it with hand written reasons why I love my missus.
However, some could only be decrypted with a mirror, some were in High Elf, Hobbit Runes (old English) and a few pictures can be arranged on a musical notation to form a small song about why my wife is ace, if you set the words to it.
So far 4 years later she's not clocked the hidden notation's but noticed the Solresol, translated the elf and hobbits bits, and worked out the mirror trick :)
I had days and days of fun making this. Was brilliant fun.
(, Thu 2 Oct 2014, 2:42, 30 replies)
Took me twenty years to realise I was bored of drinking every night, so hit it on the head last yearI didn't have a drop for about eight months at which point I thought I was bored livid of being sober, so went to the pub and really enjoyed a couple of pints, then went home. Did this a few times and realised I could drink without guzzling. Great!
What I didn't realise was what I had inadvertently done by having a long break was loose 'the thirst' where you can't stop once you've started. So now I can go to a pub, have a pint or two and leave, with no desire/thirst for any more. I now actually find the prospect of going for a session a turn off.
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Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:30,
28 replies)
I've never really gotten on with my dad. He liked Football, I liked reading. He liked going out on the lash and shagging his secretary, I liked going out with guys my own age and shagging them.
The straw which broke the camels back however was something so trivial that I'm amazed it's come to no contact with him, his wife and my three siblings...
It was my youngest (at the time) sister Christening, I'd been asked to be the God-parent which naturally was no problem, so I packed up some clothing and took the two hour journey to Amersham and settled in for a night. I got there, "hello! hello! hello!" from my step-mum, my dad? "What clothes you wearing", ah cheers, thanks.
I bring out my clothes, some Khaki's and a white shirt, as I've mentioned in another post those horrible black work trousers bring me out in a rash and wearing them for any period of time is literally torture. He takes one look at my clothes, walks upstairs and literally *throws* some of his old clothes at me saying "wear them", and then walks off leaving me and his wife in stunned disbelief.
Rest of the night passes awkwardly as I struggle to figure out am I a 12y/o child being told what to do or a 26y/o man who actually can wear what the fuck I want? So in the morning, I wake up and put on my clothes to both my SM's and Dad's horror. My dad refuses to look at me and just walks off, my SM asks me "why won't you consider wearing them?" to which I reply with the last thing I've said to my dad and SM for a year and a half:
"If the clothes are so important to you then why don't you make the clothes the God-parent instead of me? If you want me to the God-parent then let me wear my own God damn clothes".
My SM looks like I'd hit her with a shovel after digging up her (hopefully) dead grand parents and sodomizing them both with a giraffe. Yes I felt guilty but my dad? Wouldn't even look at me.
We go to the Christening and the rest of my family does the same, lots of whispers about "lack of respect" and "who does he think he is" while I'm pointing out the glaringly obvious fact that all the men there are also wearing Khaki trousers due to the cold weather but apparently, what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander. It's only right that the God parent should freeze his arse off for the sake of a few photos.
We do the Christening, I get the next train home and all due to a pair of trousers my dad no longer refuses to speak to me nor allow any official photos of me with my God-son as apparently I "didn't look the part", which he could only tell me through my older sisters. As a result, this was the last time I saw my brother Liam who is now 18 months old, my sisters Jenny and Anna who are 3 & 4 and another one on the way.
Apologies for the lack of funniez, rather cathartic reading this back. Normally family schisms are caused by men not being able to keep their trousers on at the right time, my schism was caused by keeping mine on...
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:57,
16 replies)
You can legally fuck someone, in the UK, who wasn't even alive when this stuff en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1998_in_the_United_Kingdom#October
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 12:11,
15 replies)
On 23 March 2014 I celebrated fours year's continuous sobrietyIt may not mean much to you, but to me it's a bloody miracle.
Click for the whole story
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buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 11:04,
44 replies)
celebrate letting our saviour into your life.Gaz me for more details.
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d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 7:43,
2 replies)
This morning I was making some toastand the bread got jammed in the toaster when I was having a shower, and -
All I shall say that it was a very lucky escape.
Phew!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 18:56, 25 replies)
Albert, please come home.Your mother and I are very worried about you. Things were said, but they're not important, any more. We want you to know that we're not angry, but if you don't feel like coming home right now, please just pick up the phone and call us, tell us that you're okay.
Wherever you are, please remember that we love you. And, please, whatever you do, don't accept any pizzas from strangers, no matter how home-baked they look.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 18:46,
6 replies)
This question is now closed.