i once told
hunter (bassist from afi) that he looked like a twat playing air bass to a girl. suffice to say he wasn't impressed.

shame.
i really like afi.
(melancholica, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:49, Reply)

actually, i've just thought...
early-90s indie club in manchester. me, some chums, too may bottles of newcastle brown. who should we spy, but the actor formerly known as Terry Duckworth (from Coronation Street). I wander over. "are you Terry Duckworth?" I ask. "fuck off" says Terry Duckworth.
( new_matt, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:40, Reply)

not really rude, but my only celebrity story
many moons ago, i was out in huddersfield with my dad. we went to the Merrie England* for a spot of lunch. picture the scene: me and my dad are in the queue. my dad nudges me and says: "look, that's trevor cherry**". "is it?" says i. "yes" says trevor cherry



*an old time, slightly grotty coffee shop
**an old time, slightly grotty footballer
( new_matt, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:39, Reply)

i smell of cheese

( ChaosTime The Fucking Moon Lord, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:33, Reply)

Richard Bacon - Crack
The Big Breakfast held a christmas party live on TV in our office early one morning in December 1999. We had no choice but to keep dropping the word "Crack" around Richard Bacon at every opportunity. It wasn't helped by the fact the crew kept plying us with champagne and onion bhaji's (let me remind you we were live and it was 8 in the morning!). I can be clearly heard on more than one occassion asking Richard for "Crack"ers and asking him if he's enjoying the "Craic". Credit where credits due he was a really nice bloke, if not a little annoyed by a bunch of drunken insurance brokers blowing party horns down his ears every 5 minutes. Bless.
( Misterk1973 been a hanging around these here parts since, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:30, Reply)

I
once shouted "Cuntbone" at Simon Mayo.

It wasn't big. It wasn't clever. But it was so damn right.
(ccc, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:25, Reply)

I once stopped Horatio Sanz of Saturday Nite Live
...on his way out of a porn theatre in Germany. He didn't realize that I knew where he was coming from, and when I asked if I could get him on tape, he gladly obliged. And it went something like this.

Me: "Hi Horatio, I'm a big fan of SNL."

Horatio: "Hi there, thanks."

Me: "So I'm here with Horatio Sanz. Tell me Horatio, what are you doing here at the "Wicksen Palast" (Masturbation Palace)?

I've never seen a fat man run faster.
(MR KEARNS, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:20, Reply)

hollyoaks
when they were filming hollyoaks in chester, i laughed at one of the people on it saying they were really orange and then they looked at me funny.
( sooperdave, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:10, Reply)

It's not that great
But about 2 years ago I was on a train from Manchester to London to see my then girlfriend. The train broke down and we had to change at Rugby but instead of having a new train we had to jump on an already full one. I ended up sitting in first class next to bald 'Landlord' Al Murray. We had a chat and as I was a bit stoned had no worries about being honest. When we got onto the subject of his sit com thing that was on Sky One at the time, he seemed quite annoyed when I told him it was "a bit shit".
(Wiggles, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:06, Reply)

Not so much rude but
childish heckling..While at University in High Wycombe, the Chuckle Brothers where filming something in the highstreet, slightly boozed up we began just shouting.."TO ME TO YOU TO ME TO YOU"( disrupting the filming in the process which in itself would have pissed me and My Mates of if we were filming as we were Video Production students)..but they were quite rude to us telling us to PISS OFF...later that week we also saw Michael Elphick in the local McD's..we proceeded to just hum the BOON theme tune at him for a while being again..promptly told to Fuck off!!!..Those were the days
(sirhiss, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:01, Reply)

Charlie Dimmock.
There was a grand re-opening ceremony of a garden centre here in Shrewsbury a couple of years back (Dobbies in Meole Brace for anyone who knows the area).

One of my Dad's mates from the pub leases out bouncy castles for events such as this, and I had the cracking job of minding the bouncy castle over the weekend. £150 for two days work, and all it involved was making sure no kids got on with shoes. Marvellous.

Anyway, halfway through the first day, Charlie Dimmock came over and started chatting on the behalf of the media. Photographers flashing everywhere etc. She asked me what my name was, so I dutifully replied with "Gaz. And you are?".

The look on her face was priceless. Absolutely priceless. To her credit, she didn't storm off, but she didn't look happy!
( GazChap, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 20:01, Reply)

It would've been a good opportunity....
I haven't even met a whole lot of celebrities to be rude to, so my answer is no. But I would have had a chance to be really awful to one if I had the resources (like a car and a sense of direction).
Anyway, Avril Lavigne (yes, that snotty pop star with the spike bracelets), was doing a show at a local mall. I thought it wold be fun to show up and throw an Orange Julius at her or something. But I couldn't go, so unfortunatly that twunt is running around ruining the music industry, Orange Julius free.
(pk, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:53, Reply)

Well not that famous...
...but 2 modern composers have insulted me, Stockhausen told me to get lost and Maxwell Davis told me I was being very annoying. Seeing as I am a music student, I think I am doing well.
(Sabertoothed_monkey, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:53, Reply)

Joe Absolom - Formerly Eastenders and now does various other stuff
He bumped (literally) into me in Greenwich Village Market (London - Not NY) and I said something along the lines of "watch it, you dumb cunt!" to which my then g/f who recognised him apoligised on my behalf. I said "No he was the one not looking" he did apologise and bought us lunch.

Nice guy.
Shit actor tho!
( Lord_Munkee, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:52, Reply)

I once punched Rusty Lee in the face.

( HappyBadger, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:47, Reply)

No.
does this count as threadwaste?
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:47, Reply)

speaking of Johnny Ball...
I won tickets to the CBBC Big Bash when I was little. I got lots of signatures, and I wrote the names of the people under each signature because most of them were illegible. Under Johnny Ball's signature, I wrote "Johnny Ball (Zoe's Dad)", while he watched.
(Mystery Woo Yay Boy, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:42, Reply)

I said
"There's that twat off the telly." or something to that effect, to my pal as we walked past Darius in Edinburgh. This was shortly after his Britney performance. I felt a bit guilty afterwards though, even if he did bring it upon himself. Either way, being a twat on the telly seems to have worked out nicely. I'm sure he's sipping cocktails in Acapulco while I'm still stuck here. Twat.
( UncleLewy, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:41, Reply)

Dear Jeebus
where to begin? My second job affords me the opportunity to see/insult and otherwise hobknob with Celebrities all of the time.

This week it was Cindy Crawford, week before, Heather Locklear, and I cannot TELL you how many times I've seen Marie Osmond.

Have I ever insulted any? Well, Marilu Henner seemed put off when I asked who she was for the grand opening of a new play a couple of months ago. Nice kids though.
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:38, Reply)

Very funny for me because a) i lost my job and b) i didnt like it anyways
Insulting a celebrity the best way in the world to lose a job.


First: Lowri Turner of that home improvement show cant rember the name now, visits the local Safeway where i just so happened to work at the time. Guess what she cam through my checkout and I was having a nice conversation with her about my job and then i asked her what she did (at the time not realising it was her) she told me that she worked for BBC on said improvement show. and i replied with "oh that very classy show with the downtrodden masses looking for a freebie with that fat bird who presents it whats her name?" to which she said "me" what kind of a stupid name is that and she said "no im the fat bird who presents it" and stormed off.
( Mr. Street, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:35, Reply)

Take That came to our school just before they got famous
this being a school in the heart of the largest council estate in Europe (Bransholme), they were repeatedly spat on in the 'theatre' and their tour bus got it's tires slashed. I was one of the spitees.
Needless to say, they were disgusted and vowed never to return to Hull, and you know what? They never did!

(much to the dissapointment of the girls, creating a huge girls/boys rift throughout my term at Bransholme Jail Winifred Holtby School.)
(Revels, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:32, Reply)

It wasn't me, it was actually my brother.
One year he was doing volunteer work at the international flower show being held in our home town, performing grunt work like planting flowers, painting fences, etc. That year there was a special guest: None other than Martha Stewart.

"No no no, plant it here. So it's neat. Yours looks terrible." She said to him, to which he responded:

"Excuse me lady, I think you've mistaken me for someone who gives a damn."
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:31, Reply)

I met Bill Oddie one time.
I thought it amusing to tell him that he and Noddy Holder got married he could be Willy Holder and Noddy would be Noddy Oddie. I don't think he found it amusing. You'd have thought he would really... being a Goodie and all.
( CaroWallis, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:30, Reply)

Tragic rudeness
Myself and some mates used to be in the same pool team as two (unnamed) Chelsea players who got us tickets for the PFA dinner one year.

My mates decided to "prank" Justin Fashanu and spent the whole night taking it in turns to approach him for an autograph and then (comedically) realising he wasn't John Fashanu, asking if he knew where his brother was and declining the autograph.

It was pretty funny, in a childish way, but within a few weeks Justin killed himself.

Coincidence?

You decide....
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:29, Reply)

Some bint from Hollyoaks
Was at a club and saw some blonde bit from Hollyoaks. I have no idea who she was but apparantely she was a bit rude to people.
Anyway it was Christmas time, I was very drunk indeed and I got some measuring spoons in my cracker, so I became very threatening with them shouting menacingly "Spoons! SPOOOONS!! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SPOOOOONS!!!" I think I scared her. I enjoyed that night.
Wish I could remember who she was though. They all look the same.
( Fronkle99, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:28, Reply)

Pat Jennings N.Ireland goalkeeper
we used to do a big charity bike ride from Belfast to Dublin and always they got a celebrity? guest to do the ride, this particular year it was big Pat Jennings who was interviewed at the start by t.v. folks and miss N.Ireland( scantily clad)was sitting on his bike, Pat turns to the crowd and asks for questions so I immediately shouts out " any chance of sniffing your saddle when she gets off" strangely that bit wasn't shown on the telly
( Dill, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:28, Reply)

I told someone selling big issues
that i didn't want to buy it because it was rubbish, don't know if he was a celebrity or not.
( ed.ge is drunk again in the rhododendrons, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:25, Reply)

well he seemed to thinkit was rude
long time ago in Belfast I played in a punk band, one weekend a showcase gig was organised in the hope of getting local bands signed, it was a long day and much drink was taken,
anyhow I ended up doing the door for a while and this little baldy guy with a beard appeared, "£1.50 mate" says I, he just shrugged and tried to enter so I ask him again "£1.50 or you're not getting in" so he replies " I'm John Peel from radio one"
guess who didn't get a record deal that night?
( Dill, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:20, Reply)

Robert Fripp
I asked him why we don't hear his (or King Crimson's) music on any movie soundtrack. He wasn't offended, he thinks everyone in Hollywood wears brown lipstick and lives on cocaine...
( bnt what, me worry?, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:19, Reply)

I met a bunch of celebrities at a charity do
and told the short dude from Top Gear about the Cunt Trumps game, telling him that Jamie Oliver (who was also at the event) was one of the cards!

Also, I called Jeremy Paxman "Pacman" (yeah, really clever, I know... he did call me a cheeky bugger, so I've been insulted BY a celebrity!), and said to Brian Conley that I loved him in the film "Mrs Brown"

Oh yeah, and I met Neil Morrisey and he was completely ratted, I was there with a few other friends in wheelchairs, and he asked us for a lift. He also made a gag about pushing me down a ramp, to which I replied that I would push him down the stairs first, which shut him up.
(Mystery Woo Yay Boy, Wed 14 Apr 2004, 19:17, Reply)