Not pooing makes you live longer
For some reason in my tiny head I had rationalised that wee and poo leaving the body could only be the body losing its vital liquid and solid constituents.

I had heard though that the body could generate more blood, both mum and dad gave blood, so I was more than content to piddle away safe in the knowledge my body would replace the lost fluids but I feared teh poo.

Pooing was clearly the body losing bones. There's no way to grow bones back. When you'd pooed out the last bone you'd be dead. I tried as hard as I could not to poo, clenching my way through years 3-4 and literally waiting until the backlog punched its way out leaving a jobbie like Frank Bruno's leg in the bowl. I practically had to stand up to finish the bastards off.

I reckon writing off those pairs of BHS y-fronts has added at least 6 months to my life expectancy.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 15:55, 2 replies)

*click*
for Frank Bruno's leg.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 16:26, closed)

Clicky
Same as above. Made me actually laugh out loud.
(Spackles Made sexual advances in your general direction on, Sat 21 Jan 2012, 7:26, closed)