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This is a question What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

Ever thought that you could get flushed down the loo? That girls wee out their bottoms? Or that bumming means two men rubbing their bums together? Tell us about your childhood misconceptions. Thanks to Joefish for the suggestion.

(, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 15:21)
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Living & Growing (where DO babies come from?)
When I was ill at home from 'Junior School' (not sure what they call it these days), I was plonked on the sofa in my Thunderbird pyjamas, a large box of chocolate fingers and lots of tissues, quite cosy under my quilt (I think it was an Action Man quilt, but I digress). Here I watched 'TV for schools' before 'Pebble Mill at One' while my Mother went off to her part-time job

One of the programs was called 'Living & Growing'. It was hosted by a kindly old man who began the program with the immortal words "Have you ever wondered where babies came from?", "Have you ever asked yourself what is the difference between men and women?"

That got my attention (indeed, yes, I had pondered these very questions). The first day of my illness (runny nose, blazingly high temperature) , the program merely enticed the viewer on what would come next. Lots of video shots of couples walking hand in hand in the park (the lady pregnant of course), cutting to other couples (the lady now holding the baby) and then whole families in the park having picnics; and the old man asking more rhetorical questions and telling us what 'Living & Growing' would be about

The next morning (snotty nose, temperature going down) I was glancing at the clock (the red LED one on our JVC video recorder) waiting impatiently for the program to begin

The old man began the second program by describing the two classic 'plumbing' diagrams on the screen. There for the first time in my life, I saw the difference between men & women. I listened with proverbially rapt attention to every word as the old man described how men produce 'sperm' and women produce 'eggs' and what tubes they all travelled along

Next morning (nose clear, temperature back to normal), my Mother decided I was better and could go back to school (my whining had no effect on her whatsoever). But, I ran onto the school playground very excited to tell my friends what I had learnt. They listened to everything carefully (some more boggle eyed than others) and then we all lapsed into silence as everyone digested my profound revelations. Then one of the group, Gary, asked very quietly "How does the sperm get to the eggs?". Well, I had no idea (episode 3 that I was missing) so we put our collective minds together and tried to solve this problem

The answer seemed completely self evident: It must be through kissing. Yes! the evidence fitted the theory! Every soap on TV, every wedding we had seen (you may now kiss the bride) a baby did not seem far off after the kissing began

With immediate effect, every boy in my year went on 'kiss chase' strike. We all point blank refused to play, terrified that we would give the girls babies
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 16:38, closed)
Two things bother me about this:
1) your mother left you at home, on your own, with the TV to look after you? Junior school kids are, what, 7 to 10 years old?
2) no boys ever willingly played kiss chase.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 19:03, closed)
In my school
only the coolest boys played kiss chase.
*I was never asked
Also in primary school, I was once asked if I was randy, was assured my friends were, then went and asked my 20 something old teacher if she could help me with it.
(, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 19:27, closed)
Meh
I was left home alone all the time when I was ill - what are parents supposed to do? What's the worst thing a 9 year old with the flu could get up to? I'm sure this is fine.
(, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 10:03, closed)
Why shouldn't junior school-age kids be left?

(, Mon 23 Jan 2012, 12:02, closed)

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