The buttons.. They need to be red
"Can You come up stairs please thank you" - MD

"Yes no problem" - Me

"HAVE YOU NOT BEEN CHECKING WHAT PRODUCTS ARE GOING OUT OF PRODUCTION?" - MD

"erm no, we have over 200 products and I'm a programmer" - Me

"SO YOU DON'T THINK IT's IMPORTANT?" - MD

"well yes that's why I created this tool for R and D to update it all" - Me

"DID YOU NOT THINK TO CHECK WHAT THEY WERE DOING EVERY DAY?"- MD

"No, not really" - Me

"This reminds me of the first natives of South Africa, when they first saw a radio they opened it up to see where the little people were....HAHAHAHA" - MD

"HAHAHAha" - Me

"HAHAHAha" - R and D manager

MD walks off

"Did you understand that reference?" - Me

"No not a word of it" - R and D manager

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"people will only buy from us if our buttons and prices are red" - MD my company

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"Can we do e-commerce?" - Sales Director

"I've built a fair few e-commerce sites, what does you're e-commerce site need to do?" - Me

"Just can we or can't we? no questions" - Sales Director

It turned out he didn't actually want e-commerce at all

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"Hello, I was phoning because my PC is asking whether I want to save the copy of my clipboard every time I try and close Word." - Financial Director

"Would you like to copy the files into a different program" - Me

"What do you mean?" - FD

"When you copied some image or something to your clipboard it retained it until the program was closed and then prompted you to see if you still required the file to copy into another application. Just click no." - Me

"But I don't want that message" - FD

"erm, I can't really do much about that" - Me

"Oh for God's sake, you IT types can't sort anything out. I get these kind of message pop up every day and you always tell me you can't do anything" - FD

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"you shouldn't have to scroll down the page people don't scroll down web pages" - Marketing Manager

"but we don't know how many products you are going to put on this page" - Me

"well then just make it stretch" - Marketing Manager /laughs at me in a patronising way

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"We need to change our corporate presence it's really out of date. so we need to redesign the website" - Marketing

"I designed that content management component last month, why don't you use that" - Me

"We couldn't find anything out about the company every week, or work out what's going on" - Marketing

"What do you want there instead?" - Me

"Make something up" - Marketing

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"So I can use the serial of the product as the name of the page?" - Me

"Yes that'd be fine" - Government type

LATER

"what's this serial field doing here? we won't know what the serial numbers are until project's complete" - Government type

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( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 29 Dec 2003, 15:06, Reply)