Deal or No Deal
Okay, I've got a box, and it might be worth a shitload of money, or it might be worth fuck all.

But before I open it to find out I'll get all these other people to open theirs... because I think I can figure out where the low-value ones are O_o

Oh, and I'll periodically turn down offers of good money, because I'm pretty sure I've got a good sum in my box - I can tell, because it looks exactly like all the others.

And to top it all off, if I cave in really quickly, then we'll keep playing anyway, just to rub in how much more I could have won, or how lucky I was... anything, as long as it fills half an hour.

Hmmm, no I think I'd rather go and eat my own earwax - and we all know how horrible THAT tastes
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:22, 11 replies)

The music of...
Madonna and Michael Jackson - it just doesn't please my ears.
Maybe there's something wrong with my ears.
(homeandaway, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:22, 1 reply)

Computer games
I know people who have every games console under the sun and are somewhat miffed when they offer me a go and I decline the invitation.

I have tried, but I lose interest in the game long before I develop the skills required to get anywhere.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:21, 3 replies)

Someone has already mentioned Apple computers...
But I'd like to add into the mixer, Ipods and Iphones.

They do not instantly make you cool. They do not mean you are better than anyone. They do not mean that you know more about technology than anyone else.

They mean you have been suckered into a brand, in the same way that you mock fat people for loving McDonalds, or stupid people for loving the Daily Mail and Jade Goody. You go wherever Steve Jobs goes, and spread his bible, unthinkingly, like his little minions.

Go fuck yourself and your stupid pretentious piece of plastic (or metal depending which 'gen' you bought) crap. It's probably made easier by there being an app for fucking your smug, cunt-like faces.

*Enter Apple fans stage right, for a jolly good flaming!
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:21, 15 replies)

People who run karaoke
Nothing more than failed X-Factor contestants who love the sound of their own voice.

More often than not they'll put someone's song on, fuck about with the music while they're singing and take the piss when they've finished (good or bad). Every other song put on is sung by the wanker running it who thinks he's the second coming of John Lennon.

Shut the fuck up and just keep sticking the karaoke tracks on. It's our night out, not yours, tosspot!
( Joliet, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:21, 2 replies)

The comic 'genius' that is...
Seinfelt.
(Scooby Don't, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Furries.
I used to work in a costume shop. We had a lot of people who hired animal costumes for the weekends. We had a lot more who owned their own and would bring them in for repairs. Then the internet happened, and it seemed there were many people like our customers. There are a lot of things in this world I understand, even if I'm not part of them myself. A human genuinely believing they are truly an otter/zebra/panther-dragon-wolf is not among them. That isn't to say I have any particular scorn for them (except the nasty bastards that returned our costumes soiled), just that I do not get it.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:20, 5 replies)

AAAAAAARGH!
Why do people reply/post on an internet forum, messageboard etc in textspeak when there's a perfectly normal keyboard in front of you, and a textbox with more than enough space to fit whatever grammatical content you wish to share with teh internets.

and another thing..

MC's - People who are too loud, can't sing and spout shit 'poetry' far too quickly over tracks that already contain ample lyrical content.

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

/rage
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:16, 2 replies)

Oooh ooh ooooh
Fearne Cotton. What's to like? So inane and bandwagon bound, the only justification for her is being extremely attractive.

And she isn't. Not even a bit...
(Mumm-ra, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Billy Connolly, what a bore he is.
I've tried to find him funny for over 30 years and it may be time to give up.

He swears a bit, laughs at his own funny swearing, pushes his hair back, swears a bit more....
Nope, still not working for me.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:14, 7 replies)

Emo's
People who claim they are 'Emo'.

That is all.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:13, 8 replies)

The Pop Industry
Dear Simon Cowell,

I'm sure that there's at least one girl out there who can hold a tune that you can sign to your record label. The problem is that you seem to be looking exclusively in strip clubs rather than in music institutions. Just because she looks good in a two-piece doesn't mean I want to listen to her singing a cover of a legendary ballad two tones flat.

Lots of love, Sivvus.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:12, Reply)

My Chemical Romance
I'm just not sure what the whole point of them is. OK, so I've only listened to one album, "The Black Parade", but take away the annoyingly nasal vocals, of the, un-necessarily morbid/angry, lyrics, all you have is some mediocre pop-rock, rock and roll and, worst of all, power ballads. Stick slightly cheerier lyrics in there, a little more sucrose and you'd have something that Bon Jovi could have released. Seriously, Emo kids, it's just a bit of mass produced pop-rock, not the second fucking coming.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:12, 1 reply)

Chris Moyles
talentless fat oxygen thief
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:12, 1 reply)

Watching porn with other lads.
What? So i have to sit in a room full of other blokes getting hard ons,
whilst they cheer on some coked up bint getting buggered by a plumber?

That kind of thing is sacred y'know.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)

X-Factor
Just don't even get me started.
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:11, 1 reply)

Watching an event on a mobile phone screen in real time when you're actually there
I see this a lot at gigs - people who spend the entire event recording it on their mobile phone and watching the entire thing on the screen.

Why? They obviously want to record it for posterity, but at the same time they don't seem that bothered to be there in the first place.

I don't get it... they can show the video to their mates and say "I was there", but paradoxically, they weren't really there at all.

It makes my head hurt just thinking about it.
( rofl harris, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:09, 6 replies)

People.
Every single human that's ever been alive, is alive, or will be alive. Fucking cunts the lot of them (especially me).
(fibonacci_cunt cunt, cunt, cuntcunt, cuntcuntcunt,..., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:07, Reply)

People who drink with men/women..
..who spend the night tied to a fruit machine.
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Drag queens.
In this city is an establishment where they have drag queen brunches on Sunday mornings. You can go eat your eggs benedict while watching some poof flouncing around in ridiculously over-the-top womens' clothes and clownish makeup while singing show tunes.

Why the fuck would I want to see that? Honestly, I don't care if you're gay, it doesn't bother me. If you're a guy who likes to dress as a woman, fine- make yourself happy. But this sort of in-your-face screaming flaming queen nonsense just utterly leaves me cold. It's the gay equivalent of lounge lizards in polyester leisure suits with gold chains and open shirts and stuffed underwear.

If someone can explain why this has appeal to anyone, I would be most grateful.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:06, 3 replies)

Women..
who go to great lengths to look fantastic, just to take offence when a guy sees her, walks over and tries to chat her up.

I would'nt mind, but I even waited until she'd flushed before I opened the cubicle door...

*sigh*
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:05, 2 replies)

La Roux
Point haired ginger trying to be post-modern.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:04, 3 replies)

Drinking just to get drunk
I mean this a little too seriously
"We're going to get absolutely shitfaced, you in?"
"No of course I'm not - I'm not 14"

Don't get me wrong, I drink lots. I enjoy drinking, and enjoy being tipsy, pissed and merry. But sitting there necking foul shots until someone chucks doesn't seem like fun. Being too wasted to remember or enjoy anything just seems pointless. I've done it, and I'll inevitably do it again, but I cannot for the life of me see the appeal. Can anyone (over the age of 15, until when it's still new, cool and exciting) explain?
(Mumm-ra, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:04, 6 replies)

clubs
i f**king hate clubs! they are loud, there is no space, you cant smoke a pipe, no house slippers allowed, and what are these girls wearing - i wear more than that in the shower! :D

but seriously - i hate clubs - never got on with them at uni - dont think i ever will! :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:02, 13 replies)

Just a few for now....
Ricky Gervais. What a smug wanker. And not even remotely funny. Tool.

The Stereophonics. Handbags and Gladrags has to be the most turgid load of musical kack I have ever had the misfortune to listen to.

R'n'B. Jeezus my ears.

Russell Brand. What a pompous prick he is.

Piers Morgan. Someone, somewhere, likes this prick. Why is he on my telly? He seems to have no discernable talent whatsoever. And he's called Piers, for fuck's sake.

That'll do for now. I'm getting quite irate just thinking about this....
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:00, 6 replies)

Irish people in general
I just dont get it
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 16:00, 1 reply)

Football
22 men trying to kick a round thing into a square thing? Seriously?
(unicornflakes, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:58, 6 replies)

Dermot O fucking Leary!
every time his stupid smug face gurns inside my television screen it makes me want to rip his larynxx straight from his throat with a rusty pick axe and poke both his eyes out with a blunt pencil thus rendering him without his irritatingly patronising, spectacularly pathetic attempts to make me laugh and apparent good looks that women constantly tell me are so 'boyishly appealing'.

The sooner he is put down, and people start to realise he is an ugly annoying twat and we are better off without him in the world, the better!

That is all.
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:58, Reply)

Lots of things
Friends - Puerile unfunny pish-spray, acted out by fucknuggets and ugly whores

Coldplay - Talentless shite, every whining song sounds the same as the last

Big Brother - Simplistic guff for simplistic CUNTS

X-Factor - absolute shite, fit only for teh most idiotic of cunts. anyone over the age of 10 watching this should be kicked in the CUNT

Football - played by poofters for the benefit of poofters and potential poofters

Social Networking Addicts - Absolute shite. I can understand the need AND the desire to stay in contact with friends, but some cunts just take it too far. Far too far. I mean, who the fuck could be bothered to read about brainless cunts and the stupid fucking shite they get up to. Mostly holding a camera phone at arms length and trying not to look like a FAT/STUPID CUNT.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:58, 6 replies)

September 11th 2001
I mean what was all that about?
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 15:54, 2 replies)