What Lies Below
I was living out in the bush in the far north of Australia many years ago. You have seen movies set in this sort of place I am sure. Crocodile Dundee type stuff but toned down to reflect reality (I hope you have made the effort to track down the wonderful film Ten Canoes btw).

Anyway, one night I was drinking in a pub in a small town in the back end of nowhere. The majority of patrons were farmers and bushies and there were also a significant number of aborigines who had come in from their bush camps to get alcohol. In addition tourism was establishing itself as a local industry at the time and there were a few visitors from an American run tour group in attendance. There was one woman in this group of well-to-do tourists who was in her 50s, flashy smile, well structured, a bit sexy, some innate dignity. She was probably a lovely person in her natural habitat but she was over dressed for an outback pub and out of place. She had the designer khaki, the Timberland boots, the earrings and flashy pearl necklace, the expensive bush hat draped behind her; all together more posed than functional. But bless her – she was trying at least.

She might have been trying a bit too hard though. She wandered over to a high mileage, wizened, gap-toothed aboriginal elder who happened to be wearing around her neck a string of crocodile teeth laced with a leather thong. The visitor wasn’t trying to cause offence I am sure but she managed it anyway by saying ‘Oh, how lovely. Your people must value crocodile teeth as much as my people value pearls’. The aboriginal woman considered her for a moment then slowly shook her head and turned away saying scornfully ‘Any cunt can open an oyster’.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 6:27, 4 replies)

This happened?
Please promise me this isn't apocryphal, it's such a great line.
(Rhye, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 10:02, closed)

Please
let this be true - gets click anyway
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 12:00, closed)

Yep
wot they said ^^^^^^.

Brilliant. Clickety click
(Rsoles, Sat 18 Oct 2008, 12:23, closed)

Superb1
clickage, even if it's not true I haven't heard the line before and it made me laugh
(cheez is feeling ergophobic, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 22:23, closed)