The time I went a bit mad...
It was a dark period in my life, triggered by some random maniac trying to attack me in the street. I became a recluse and, without really realising it, I went a bit doolally.

Things came to a head when I was vomiting everytime I had to go out the front door and managed to convince myself that maybe this wasn't right and I should see a doctor.

So, I see the doctor, burst into tears and explain all my feelings of anxiety and stuff.
"Anything else you need to tell me? Any paranoid thoughts?" my doctor asks in his textbook manner

"Well.." I began. "I'm pretty sure someone at work poisoned my coffee the other day with bleach. And I'm convinced that there are no other countries in the world."

"What?!?!" my doctor spluttered, almost choking on his pen lid.

"Yeah, it makes perfect sense. The planes just take off, fly over the sea for a bit and then land in a different area of the country. It's all just a gimmick to charge us more money."

I'm suprised that I wasn't sectioned there and then. Instead he explained that these weren't normal thoughts and that what I needed was strong medication and a long course of cognative therapy.

Still, that over a decade ago and I'm much better now.
I only drink coffee that I've made myself.
(plant rolls out of bed like a fat wobbly tub of lard, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 13:12, 4 replies)

you worked with graham young
aicmfp
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 15:31, closed)

I hope you're feeling better now.
That 'planes flying round in a circle for a bit' did feature in Bill Bailey's bit about conspiracy theories on the 'Tinselworm' tour, so maybe you could ask him for some dosh in return.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 10:34, closed)

Drive then, if you can drive from the UK
to Tennessee, without using a boat or a long fucking bridge, I'll eat my own face.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 0:55, closed)

"I'll eat my own face"
Then I really will have seen everything - except a limosine that can fly.
(dyllon nice beaver., Mon 29 Apr 2013, 3:06, closed)