God Damn Amsterdam
About 9 years ago, I went to Amsterdam with my then-girlfriend. This was the first holiday we had without our daughter in tow, who was left at my mother's - one night only, which we thought would be enough.

First mistake - we stay in Amsterdam the day *after* Queen's Day, which is some sort of big national holiday out there. The place looks like it's been bombed, only with litter. Everyone apart from us has a hangover after what looks like a really good party. Oh well.

Second mistake - the hotel. The stairs leading up to the hotel were like the north face of the Eiger. "Don't fancy those much for later" I thought. The room itself was so small the radiator had to go up, rather than along, the wall. The previous occupants of the bed had black pubes; I could tell by the state of the comedy shower, and the bedlinen.

Oh well. "By the time we get back here, it will be 2 in the morning and we'll be mullah'd" I said to the girlfriend.

Mistake number 3. After trawling round Amsterdam, and eating some pancakes, stopping off for our first joint in a cafe called "Grey Area". This place (I found out later) sells the strongest dope in Amsterdam.

Mistake number 4. Asking for a ready-rolled joint.

The rest you can guess. 3/4rts of the joint later, we are both caned. After staggering around the Dam, and getting lost, my girlfriend does a whitey and collapses. Somehow we get a taxi back to the hotel room we hadn't planned on seeing for many hours to come.

We stayed there for the next 6 hours until we both felt well enough to move. All there was to watch on the postage-stamp sized TV was the snooker world finals.

And it was my birthday.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 18:28, 3 replies)

Monged Snooker...
sounds like the best birthday ever!
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 11:03, closed)

Not really
I mean, I don't mind the snooker, it's alright - but this was the first weekend away with my then-missus without the kid in tow. So I was expecting us to be able to go WILD and CRAZY. Which, I suppose we did, but in the wrong way, early doors, our one weekend of freedom in 2 years ruined thanks to White Widow, which according to the bastard Americans who ran the cafe was "not strong". Yeah, right.
( I_Was_Mordred, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 12:04, closed)

Did something similar
Mrs Lardy took me to The 'Dam for my birthday too, we were expecting a wild night too. We'd been warned about the space brownies, so shared one of those, but nobody mentioned abything about the pre-rolled joints. Thinking the brownie wasn't doing anything we consumed about a third each of the joint and thought we'd better leave the coffee shop when Mrs. Lardy started talking to the goldfish. We just managed to get back to the hotel (after three enourmous laps of the RLD), where I suffered a serious paranoid episode, causing me to jump out of bed every 30 minutes panicking and shouting until 5am. We'd gone to bed by 9:30. So much for the wild sexy weekend away from the kids.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 15:52, closed)