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This is a question Hotel Splendido

Enzyme writes, "what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?"

What, the place in Oxford that had the mattresses encased in plastic (crinkly noises all night), the place in Blackpool where the night manager would drum to the music on his ipod on the corridor walls as he did his rounds, or the place in Lancaster where the two single beds(!) collapsed through metal fatigue?

Add your crappy hotel experiences to our list.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:05)
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Armitage Shanks? More like fucking Tupperware!
London, 2006, Duke of Edinburgh Award 50th Anniversary.

I'm there looking after a disabled guy, we check him into his hotel room. The reviews of this hotel were less than shining but we'd been sorted out, and the DoE folks were paying.

His room was niiiiiiice. Huge, Tv, safe, ensuite, double bed, air conditioning, ceiling fan, wardobe etc.

Mine on the other hand was terrible. It was about the size of a matchbox and contained not one, but two single beds. The air con was actually a window that opened about half an inch so it was hotter than hell. The bathroom was like nothing I'd seen in my life... or imagined in my darkest of nightmares.

It was made entirely of plastic in what could only be called 'yeast grey'. It was kinda built into the room like it was put in as an afterthought. Maybe 2.5m long by 1 deep. It had all the usual bathroom things in it though. Toilet in yeast grey plastic, sink in yeast grey plastic, 'shower' in yeast grey plastic. The only thing that wasn't grey was the mirror.

It was the first time I've ever been able to sit on the bog, have a shower and brush my teeth all at the same time. Everything got soaked when the shower was on because the water was coming out at a pressure that Karcher would be proud of. It was like being pissed on by the Devil.

Finally, closing the door was pretty much like sealing yourself into a Tupperware box.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 19:57, 2 replies)
'It was like being pissed on by the Devil.'
It's a good job there aren't many other people left at work, I've just coughed water everywhere! :)
(, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 17:04, closed)
that's my favourite thing about b3ta
I get it on a Saturday when I'm the only person in the office.
So I can laugh and spit water/coffee/redbull around as much as I want and only need worry about people looking in through the windows.
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 1:25, closed)

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