Mexico
About ten years ago I decided that quitting my job and going to Mexico was preferable to staying working for a woman who was convinced I was a satanist.
So it was that Davy and his backpack vanished into the jungles of the Yucatan with nothing but a Lonely Planet Guide and Pelton's The Worlds Most Dangerous Places (far the more useful book - an essential read for any traveller - buy it today!).
Every time I arrived in a new town, I followed the same pattern - check into the cheapest hotel in town, sleep, wake the next morning thinking 'fuck this!' and check into somewhere decent for the rest of my stay.
I arrived into Palenque on the most humid day of the year and checked into the $5-a-night pit on the outskirts of town. Forget the infestation of mosquitos, I could deal with that. Forget the 50% humidity which required me to take a cold shower every 30 minutes to avoid overheating. Forget the bed which looked and smelled like every sailor ever had got lucky with the local rent boy in it the night before. All of these things were as nothing to seasoned traveller Davy.
I finally got to sleep stark naked at about 3am, and was awoken about 30 minutes later by the Biggest Insect Ever crawling up the inside of my thigh, directly towards my genitals. This thing had a shiney, iridescent blue shell, a pair of horrifyingly sharp looking mandibles, dozens of legs and a pair of huge, bulbous multifaceted eyes which were fixed with a determined gleam upon my family jewels.
This was a bug looking for something tasty to eat and then somewhere to lay its eggs, and my nadgers were top of the menu for both.

The next thing I remember is that I was standing on the other side of the room squealing like frightened piglet and the insect was scuttling towards me again, undeterred by my schoolgirl-like fright.
I finally managed to shoo it back into the 2" gap under the door with a towel, which I then rolled up to block the gap.

I didn't sleep again that night, and in the morning I went and checked into the Maya Tulipanes, which was much nicer.
(davywavy, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 13:14, 1 reply)

Dear Lord...
*Makes a note never to visit Mexico*

Your description reminds me of the beetle in Bubba Ho-Tep...

Gigglesome tho!

*click*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 15:29, closed)