Kids love a trip to McDonalds...
...but I reckon hundreds of the little buggers, perhaps even thousands are being denied this simple joy because thier parents are veggies or even worse, vegans - you know, the fundamentalist type that sniff with disapproval at you if you so much as pick up a drumstick.*

I qualify this statement with three phrases: Fruit Bag. Carrot Sticks. What the fuck.

You see, I've yet to meet a kid under ten who doesn't hop impatiently from one foot to the other at the prospect of a Maccy D's cheeseburger or at the very least, chicken nuggets. It's why they want to go there in the first place. And I can only imagine the bitter disappointment of the pillocks they've been stuck with as parents saying 'No no no, meat is murder, munchkin - you have a fruit bag instead'. Fucking fruit bag? If you were a nipper and in McDonalds, how gutted would you be to be stuck with that? Without burgers, a trip to McDonalds is utterly pointless and qualifies fully as a crap meal out. I mean, you don't go for the decor or the witty repartee of the serving staff, do you?

I've made a pact with myself that if I ever witness a kid being denied in such a fashion, I mean to buy an extra cheeseburger and slip it to the little tyke somehow - 'Here you go - see how the other half live, halfpint' :)
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* /off topic but still worth a mention: A former girlfriend's elder sister did that to me once - she was one of the really hardcore vegans, as was her hubby. I've never seen a more emaciated pair outside of a country beset by famine or a rehab centre. The hubby was okay to talk to and a real music lover, but the sister was an opinionated cunt, especially when it came to preaching about veganism. And preaching she was at a barbecue hosted by some friends of mine. She went on almost incessantly, noticeably pissing off my mate who was preparing the fine victuals that most of us were enjoying. So, I ambled across to the barbie and reached for a drumstick with a quick 'watch this' wink at my mate before rejoining the group with my prize.

As expected, she made no attempt to hide her disapproval in either gesture or word. Whilst she wittered on with many a poisonous glance at me I ate my meaty treat with almost theatrical gusto. When I had naught but the bone left I told her that I have no problem with her choice of sustenance, and even though I myself don't agree with it, I respect her decision to chuck whatever she likes down her neck. However, I pointed out, since she obviously had no such respect for me or my choice not to break with the way we were made on that score (i.e. with incisors and canines in our jaws) then I felt complled to demonstrate how that lack of respect on her part made me feel. The foolish woman issued the challenge 'Go on, then'. To be honest, the act of eating and enjoying it inches away from her was originally intended as the demonstration I spoke of, but this subtle point was evidently lost on the insensitive twat. I decided that I needed to crank it up a notch. So, I pulled the front of her top forward and dropped the greasy bone into her almost non-existent cleavage. The resulting hoo-haa was most entertaining. The softarsed bint even demanded a lift home so that she could shower - a demand that I'm happy to report fell upon deaf ears. She had to make do with a moist towelette and my mate the chef giggling uncontrollably every time he looked at her.

She didn't speak to me for nearly 18 months after that and even once she did, never raised veganism vs carnivorism ever again. A result on both counts, I feel. And the GF? 'We always try to tell her to shut up, but she never listens to us - good work there'. What a girl she was :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 28 Apr 2006, 13:40, Reply)