My Grandmother told a tale
A tale of nightmarish pursuit. It happened while she was returning from the shops through the woods pushing a pram containing my infant father, and it turned her prematurely grey.

In those days prams were quite big affairs, and were ideal for carrying shopping home as well as the baby and in this case some wheeled help was very useful, since the path took her along a long and fairly rough path through these woods. Well, she'd got to a particularly dark area, deep in a gully and shaded by trees, when she heard footsteps following her, and quite close by. She stopped and looked over her shoulder.

The footsteps stopped. There was nobody on the path behind her.

Hm.

Nothing for it but to push on; and as soon as she did so the footsteps started up again. She walked a bit faster. After a moment the footsteps went a bit faster too. And by god they sounded close. She glanced over her shoulder and saw only the gloom of the forest behind her. She stopped again to listen, and a moment later the footsteps stopped too.

By the time she came out of the woods she was travelling at speed, and the footsteps were sounding like they were in desperate pursuit.

Finally she burst out of the woods and into the sunlight and the dread spectre was revealed, and it wasn't all that dreadful after all. My father had been digging in the shopping bags and had liberated two kippers which he was flapping against the sides of the pram. Going faster was more exciting, so he'd flap them harder. Stopping was boring, so the flapping stopped.

(History does not record whether the kippers were still brought out for breakfast or not).
(richardm, Fri 8 Apr 2011, 10:41, 4 replies)

ha ha :D
Brilliant,
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 8 Apr 2011, 11:01, closed)

He he he!
I like this! :-)
( splorp ®, Fri 8 Apr 2011, 11:18, closed)

Your father is a natural comedy genius.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 8 Apr 2011, 11:21, closed)

This is fab!
Genuinely creepy, but with a comedy payoff
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 8 Apr 2011, 14:18, closed)