Schoolboy Error
I'd just got meself a new bird, invited her over for dinner. Rustled up a bunch of my patent veggie fajitas, for she and I are of the non-carnivore kind, featuring nice fresh chillis.

Anyways, get the dinner all sorted, decide to grab a quick shower so as to be all sparklin' on the off chance she got drunk enough to sleep with me.

Was just about to hop under the water when something very important popped into my head.. Now then - we all know chaps should never go out with a loaded gun if there's the slightest chance of knocking boots, don't we?

By this point, time was running short, so i set about emptying me pods before the missus pitches up... and completely forgot that I'd just chopped a load of chillis.

10 seconds in, mild itching.
20 seconds, things go red
30 seconds in... it's like the RAF has called in half a dozen napalm strikes onto my bellend.

Cry? Nearly fucking shat meself the pain was so bad.

Cue an excrutiating evening of crossed legs, wincing, watering eyes and constant trips to the bog to dip my cock in a sink of cold water.

Took about 4 hours to go back to normal, which was just about the time Mrs Grouch decided to jump me bones.

And - as an epilogue - the chilli was *cough* desensitising enough that I lasted an age.

Every red, inflamed, swollen cock has a silver lining, I suppose...
( Grouch would quite like his clients to stop being numptys, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 15:43, Reply)