When I was fourteen
Me and a lad I hung around with decided to get drunk on a warm summers day. After a jaunt to a local offie, we proceeded to find a spot to get lashed on.

We settled on the roof top of a multistory car park that was soon to be demolished.

For an example, it was similar to the one in Gateshead (http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04/Gateshead_450x300.jpg) and the stop in question is the highest point in the image. I.e. No barriers.

I still shudder when I think how easy it would be to 1) fall off accidentally 2) fall off when drunk 3) and this is the one that really freak me out *be pushed*. Seriously, this lad could have given me a shove and there is nothing no-one could say otherwise. We were drunk after all.

I lie awake at night, knowing that in a parallel universe one of the above three has happened.
(Rimfeast, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Rodeo Sex

The old Rodeo Sex joke below almost got a mate of mine killed. The first time I heard it, I laughed like a drain. So I told it to one of my mates.

Next day he comes in to work with a black-eye and split lip.

Turns out that, that night, he was giving his missus one, doggy-style, when he remembered the joke and burst out laughing. A really bad case of the giggles. His missus thought he was laughing at her and went mental and beat the shit out of him with the bedside lamp. Even through the pain, he just couldn't stop laughing which just made her even madder.


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 11:31, 1 reply)

Chlorine Bombs
School was a breeding ground for stupidity. In this case I'm referring to the wonderfully useful nuggets of information that were passed on to us by the ever so slightly demented science teachers. In between playing with mercury (yes, the whole class was given a go playing with one of the most poisonous substances known to man on numerous occasions) we were informed that chlorine would react violently with milk.

So what did we do with this information? Well naturally tested it for ourselves. It was handy that we had a pool at home so there was always a ready supply of chlorine about. We first tried it in a plastic jar, but all it did was react, melt the jar and then smoke a lot . Fine, lets try glass instead. Brilliant. So we popped the mixture in the jar, shook it and then ran away. Same reaction this time, but the jar didn't melt. Instead the lid shot off. Ahh, we though lets try it with the lid facing down. Lo and behold it turned into a mini-rocket. Wahoo!!

I read in the paper some time later about some kids who had tried the same experiment and had ended up with a smashed glass and burning hot chlorine all over their bodies. I think we were very lucky!
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Too late to get on the popular page...
... and a pearoast anyway.

But I learned something valuable from my brother.
If you're flying a Hercules around the country at low altitude, it's a good idea to spot a wind turbine before you pass between its currently rotating arms.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 9:14, 32 replies)