If you want my money and you think I'm sexy...
can anyone confirm (or deny) that Rod Stewart once said that he wouldn't be marrying again, just walking up to a lady in the street and buying her a house?
(spikeofax, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 22:45, Reply)

Ohhhhh
Ohhh, is it "Debt Prone" then? I just thought it was an eejit spelling version of porn.

No story I'm afraid
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 22:21, Reply)

PRONE
I will be. Sat. On my 1st Class flight to Cairo. Thinking off you.

WHOOOO - Last post!!!!!
(Suck it and Sea, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 22:03, Reply)

My biggest money fuck up
The last 5 years or so... but I won't bore you with the usuals, we're all in the same boat. I shall be getting my money back from the bank though.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 30 Nov 2006, 21:59, Reply)

christ its still going
well i'm going to anticipate the next QOTW.

My First Wank with Spunk

My first wank where i actually spunked was in a tent, in a campsite in France. It has only just occured to me, about 20 years later that my parents were approximately 5cm away on the other side of a very thin gauze. I really fucking hope they didn't hear. One day, I'm going to have to ask them.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 21:43, Reply)

Not debt but......
I was sitting at home having lunch today watching crap TV whilst having a break from decorating.

All the usual 'knee cap finance ads' come up but what was even better was some fat fuck with the biggest, wobbliest jowls came on next to advertise the Personal Injury helpline. It then cut to a shot of this Jabba the Hut's huge head with nothing but the company logo next to it -

THE PI HELPLINE.

If your company is known as the PI Helpline, you shouldn't have some weebl as your spokesperson...

Just a suggestion...
(Let's all have an asbo, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 19:02, Reply)

There was an article in the news paper this morning about how
a website offering advice (Money Saving Expert I think?) on how to claim bank charges back had their letter template downloaded 50,000 times in the last week... They reckon that it is a revolution of the UK population against the big banks....

Coincidence that it is the same site that has been linked to by people on this QOTW
( weekendsession, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 18:02, Reply)

B3ta debt
The multitudinous hordes of b3tans were promised a new QOTW each Thursady, but by 16.58 on Thursday 30th the debt was still outstanding.
(frankspencer, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 16:59, Reply)

Bikes
I'm 20. I put a grand on the card last night to pay for a new bike.

The 0% thing of 2K's worth of bike debt doesn't finish till march

I've got a 5K car loan.

I earn about 1K a month.

Feck...
(Dark Lord, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 15:15, Reply)

the former members of the Beatles

are building up a serious debt with this guy.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 15:03, Reply)

My mate works for MBNA
He works as a "Business Retainer" (basically, you have to go through him if you want to cancel your credit card). He is VERY good at his job, as he had no morals except his own. I hated him for it.

He is quitting today.

He has spent the last week and a half cancelling people's credit cards with no fuss.

Because it's a hell of a lot quicker cancelling than keeping (he doesn't put up a fight), in that time he has cancelled more cards than he kept in the last 18 months.

I was wrong, he is truly a brilliant man.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 13:56, Reply)

Lovely Nigerian Man
Just received a lovely email from a chap in Nigeria saying how nasty UK government preventing him from getting money into the UK so he has offered me a great deal where if i let him use my bank account he will give me lots of money's! Bank account is duly posted in reply to this lovely chappy!

EDIT:- hes taking a while with repaying me for my giving him my bank details
EDIT:- couldnt take out a tenner today saying insufficient funds sure i had about 20,000 grand in my bank
EDIT:- fuck socks! ive been robbed
(oxfam-glamour-model, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 13:51, Reply)

First Post on the Bugle
Much like Togaboy, I too have known the near-sexual pleasure of inviting my erstwhile financial overlords to whistle for it, from the comfort and safety of the other side of the world. And what made it all the sweeter was that my debtors were none other than… …drum roll… …The Student Loans Company. Can I get a woop-woop?

For those who haven’t had the pleasure, crippling debt to these darkly malignant tumours on the ringpiece of Britain is the fiscal burden of choice for anyone who has the brass-balled audacity to attempt to educate themselves without a trust fund/hereditary life-peerage/uncle on the civil list.

Anyhoo, after several weeks on the phone attempting to defer repayment due to distinct lack of clay urinary receptacle, coupled with a grim determination to spunk my sub-atomic wage packet on weak lager and nutritionally questionable take-aways in the here & now, as opposed to weak lager and nutritionally questionable take-aways I’d shovelled down my kite in 1997, the bitter Glasweigan phone monkey informed me in a blisteringly smug tone that “I’m afraid we don’t do that sir”

“You clearly do. It says so on the back of this threatening letter”.

Cranking the smug up to 11, he replied “It’s actually a little more complicated than that sir”. I swear to Vishnu he actually purred as he said this. Cue three years of threats, abusive letters, arbitrary charges, and legally murky attempts to coerce my family into payment (luckily my mum is absolutely nails, and tolerates precisely none of this malarkey).

Eventually I move to the capital, accidentally score semi-lucrative employment with Britain’s 117th most respected cable TV company, and decide to get these parasites off my back for good. Their initial proposal – monthly repayments equal to those of, say, Mozambique – was not met with approval, but eventually a deal was struck.

Then I emigrated. And so to the point.

A single payment by direct debit, of a fixed amount, on the same day of each month, is admittedly a difficult concept for a loan company to grasp, but throw in a new debit day, a change of address and wire transfers to my UK account in a Aussie dollars, and the pilot of their collective brain ship suffered a stroke at the wheel. Letters were sent requesting the entire amount in full within 7 days.

During the subsequent call to an equally smug phone gimp (do they take smuggery classes?), something happened that tipped me over the edge. I’d almost reached the end of my rope trying to explain my situation, and asked to speak to a supervisor, and the phone gimp… …laughed. He actually chuckled at me. Something deep within me buckled to breaking point, and I cut loose.

“OK. You’re in Glasgow, in January, facing the wrong end of an 8-hour call centre shift with only a bollock-freezing lunch hour to break the tedium. I’m currently sitting on my balcony on Sydney’s northern beaches, sipping a glass of shiraz so massive it could drown a small family cat. My back yard has a fucking palm tree in it. So option 1) I’m going to make regular repayments, when I decide to, in the manner in which I choose, and you are going to help me. Option 2) You never hear from me again”.

It worked a treat, and what’s more, oh God it felt good.

Apologies for longevity of ongoing genitalia joke.
(Monkey Tennis isn't Spartacus, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 13:50, Reply)

Cautionary Tale
My (very) ex-partner managed to keep his drink problem hidden from me for nearly two years at which point we took the tenancy of a pub together.
It all started very well but then he started drinking more & more, driving away all our good customers & imbibing the takings. And more.
We ended up selling at a loss and as everything was in my name I ended up bankrupt and lost my house.
He walked away debt free.
A cautionary tale indeed and not at all funny, I'm afraid.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 13:38, Reply)

Although we live in a large and varied world, there can't be too many people like this out there...
Bloke called ian who lived in my block at uni. His entire degree was bankrolled by mum and dad so he never learnt the finer points of thrift. As soon as he was given any money he'd blow it all within a couple of days and then borrow money from the rest of us until the next payout.

He never paid anyone back and he borrowed from EVERYONE. There came a point when no one would lend him anything. So one month the usual has occurred and he is broke. I have little sympathy until I find him with his finger in my tub of margarine because he can't afford any food.

'Lend us some money Sadleir, please, I'm starving.'

'I'll lend you twenty quid on one condition. The condition is that you will promise not to spend a penny of it on either booze or fags or take aways or gambling or weed or public transport when you can walk and food from Waitrose or M & S. You must promise to spend this money on NECESSITIES ONLY.'

'I promise.'

The next day I find him waiting for a bus. He's holding something extremely large that's wrapped up.

'Ian, what's that?'

'It's a headboard for a bed. It was reduced from £80 to £15! Amazing, yeah?'

I mean, a headboard?
(sadler, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 13:20, Reply)

Fighting the man, fighting the man!
Hello - Everyone in debt. It is illegal for banks to level penalty charges if you go overdrawn etc. The banks, store card companies etc. HAVE to give you your money back if they have charged you anything for the last 6 years. You may have to go to court. It is very easy. The details are here, along with form letters etc: www.penaltycharges.com

Go to it! I know of 4 people who have all got over £500 back. I am waiting till tomorrow to go to court.

I owe about 20k, have cut up cards, and started paying it back finally after years of misspending and basically acting like a cock. Should pay it back inside 2 years. What a waste of life though when I could be getting into it! Citizens Advice Bureau is a goody as well.
(ftumch, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 11:19, Reply)

I'm in debt
To the tune of £3 grand.

Basically, I DJ, and I needed my own gear. But no, I didn't want any old shit, I wanted the best.

So I got the best on a credit card. Whilst unemployed.

I only now have an xmas temp job, and even then no way will it cover me..

If any London b3tans want a DJ, I'm cheap as you like..

*obligatory phallic geometry comment*
(fantomex, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 9:06, Reply)

Teh Pron
Not alot really, I left the army at the tender age of 22 to go back and get myself a degree. Now I joined up at 16 so those 5ish years had ment I had climbed the ranks and was earning a nice 26k PA, I made sure I had cleared all my debts (1.2k for a bike I promptly sold about a month after when I decided a car would be a better choice) and then served my time till leaving.

no appoligies for length, it scares the sailors off.
I am now living on 4 grand a year student loans and any finaces I can scrape. It appears that as I am over the age of 21 and a bloke and not a 16 year old girly, people dont want to employ me for part time jobs (you get an extra 50p on top of minimum wage for some reason being over 21 it seems, and that 50p an hour adds up to companies. Surely I can take ever person thats refused me employment to court for being ageist?). I've gotten pleanty of contract offers to work full time in my previous role, but that kinda doesn't allow me to get my education.
I remember the days of being a tax payer and moaning about those "free loading students" but now obviously I see teh error of my ways and realise I wasn't actually paying for thier education, they were with student loans and picking peoples weeds/painting fences/anything short of sucking off sailors down the dock, for 40 squid a week to pay rent.

No appologise for length, it scares teh sailors off
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Thu 30 Nov 2006, 3:07, Reply)

Minted
i recenty invested my whole wealth on a chance email about a stock....

Course i urged all my family to invest too.

*rubs hands
( awallafashagba Da da da da da Dah dah, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 0:18, Reply)

Debt Free
I am currently in a shitload of debt. But pretty soon I will be debt free AND loaded. - You see, I've come to an "arrangement" with a Nigerian fellow. *nods smugly, taps nose*
(daveshane An ah dohn make no sense, but baby ah'm the shit, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 23:17, Reply)

Library
I owe the University library £226.50 due to my taking 3 books out at the beginning of last year, and having not yet returned them. Countless letters have seemingly stampeded through my letter box asking for them back, but when your living in a student hovel and you run out of toilet paper, theres only one thing you can do.
( Furness, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 21:56, Reply)

I had an N-Gage
'nuff said, right waste of fucking money that was. Managed to scrape some cash back thank fuck from ebay :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 19:53, Reply)

Debt vs Physics
Is it called an Electron card because it incurs charges, yet carries no weight?
(Jack Rarebit ...We like chillies, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 19:09, Reply)

Evil old bosses - a slightly more happy debt story :D
A few years ago, I worked for a certain private computer retailer which after 4 years of working there decided that, as I was hitting 21, they didn't need me there full-time anymore. My hours were reduced, and I was skint. While I was on this new part-time rota, I got halfway through the week and was accused of mass theft and promptly fired.

Two weeks later, I got a job in a pub down the road from them, and was earning an easy 50% on top of what I was getting from the comp shop, the tight cunts. I also started working part-time in another rival computer company, which my old boss didn't appreciate (to the point where he heard about my interview, and called them to warn me about my "criminal" background). I still got the job though :)

Approximately year later, I get a phonecall from one of the floor managers from this computer place who still kept in touch with me. He informs me that he's not entirely happy with what had happened that day. Apparently the Police had been called in to deal with an apparent £13,000's worth of theft I commited? Not bad, considering that I haven't set foot in the place since I got fired. What makes things worse was that the owners had asked him to say they'd seen me take stuff, when obviously none of them had. They all weren't about to testify to this, and that pissed the owners off chronically. The Police laffed this accusation off, and didn't even bother letting me know about it.

3 years after this; I'm out on the piss, quite happily minding my own business getting drunk, and I bump into an old regular customer from the store. He's happy to see me, and comes bearing news; one of the owners had been caught swindling £52,000 from his own company - exactly 4 times the amount I was accused of - and ousted from the partnership. The bastard had happily used me as a scapegoat blaming me for the debt, but himself got caught in the end. I got happy-drunk that night :D

A few months after that, the company went bankrupt and went completely under. I was gutted I wasn't there on the closing day; I would have stood there in the doorway to the shop pissing on thier shelves.

Soz for length ; this is one debt that truely does make me smile.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 18:29, Reply)

Freshmen at my college aren't allowed to have their cars because of the huge demand on parking spaces
I needed my car on campus just for the weekend so I could go make some money at an antique show. When I got to campus on friday I wasn't sure where to park, seeing how I had no parking permit; a friend of mine suggests parking over at the nearby apartment complex, supplying me with a fake parking pass and everything. I parked her there, went home and slept, came back the next morning and she was gone. Cost: $220 bucks for towing, payable to an angry man with six fingers between both hands.

Once I got my car back I accidentally parked it in a faculty-designated spot, costing me another $75 for the parking ticket. Fucksocks.

I didn't even end up breaking even with the money I earned over the weekend.
( AgentMuu hentai coordination, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 18:11, Reply)

I realised that I had made the biggest mistake of my life....
When I hired Nick Leeson as my financial adviser. ...
(Code of Post lives at the moment in time that is..., Wed 29 Nov 2006, 17:56, Reply)

no win no fee
I need £53,000 for "replace" my hummer, may i borrow it from you and meet you on the 32nd of Jan outside a ship in the north sea?
((((InfraSound))) SUNN0))) > YOU!, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 17:35, Reply)

Me, gullibe? Never
A few years back when I was living in Oxford I was working for Brookes University. On my way home from work one day while listening to my walkman, a guy approached me. He was making frantic gestures at me, so I pulled out my headphone and decided to grace him my full attention. He had apparently missed his lift home back to Reading and desperately needed £30 to get the train back. I question why I should give him the money when I may never se him again. He said he would be back in Oxford the next day to work again and would pay me back.

After much haggling I reluctently agreed to lend him the money but only if he let me keep his bag and his coat as security. So we went to local cash machine and I promptly gave him the money and a spot outside the university was our agreed meeting point for us to exchange bag and coat for cash.

The next day, the alloted time for exchange came and went, I hung around for a further 30 mins but to no avail.

So, now a bit pissed off and in possession of a bag and coat I did not want, I decided to riffle through the goody sack and see what else I had become owner of. In the main section beyond the rolled coat (sheepskin) there was nothing else, but opening up the outer compartment I found a syringe, tin foil and tissue with blood on. I decide that I had been well and truly had, so the bag, coat and paraphernalia went into storage in far corner of the loft of house I was renting. To this day I believe it still resides there.

As for the chap who borrowed the money, I hope you are rotting in some back alley with a needle in your arm and mangy dog licking you balls.
( Statler&Waldorf I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK., Wed 29 Nov 2006, 17:15, Reply)

Cunting Taxi Drivers...
Went out with some mates one night, but beforehand, having lost my bank card, I needed to go into the bank to withdrawl some money. I asked for £100, as I still needed to buy some stuff in town. Unfortunatly, the forgien bank clerk gave me two £50 notes. This wouldnt have pissed me off so much if I didnt get a taxi home that night, absolultly pissed, and after the driver saying "£9.49 please" I unwillingly handed him a £50 note thinking it was a tenner and said "Keep the change".

Never got the rest of it back. Cunt.
(LiquidRogue Powerful tiny fists..., Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:24, Reply)

My biggest money fuckup is quite simple.
I once went and spent $15,000 on Basketball Season Tix, thinking that I could move them fairly quickly.. What a shock when they were the 2nd losingest team that year... I think I sold 1 pair of tix... Fact.
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 15:54, Reply)