Drill rig fraud
Worked as a blast hole driller in the mines in Australia for about a decade before regaining my senses and going back to uni. The boss and I go down to the nearest port city to pick up a brand new half-million dollar drill rig (I'm along for the ride simply to drive the thing out of the shipping container and onto the flatbed truck, 'cause the boss barely knows where the start button is). Problem is, the boss and I stop for a few drinks before the 15 hour drive back up to the mine. And a few drinks becomes a hideous shitload of drinks, because neither of us are really looking forward to the drive or being back at the mine. Nonetheless, we eventually stagger out the door and the boss is certain he's still in fit condition to be behind the wheel of a 36 wheel flatbed truck with a 16 tonne drill rig on it, and I'm far too plastered to object. We drive off. The boss knows a 'shortcut' which might avoid the police breathalyzer roadside stops. A shortcut involving a railway underpass. Slightly lower than a 16 tonne drill rig on the back of a flatbed. Drill gets swiped off flatbed with a huge fucking bang, and we grind to a huge jacklegged halt. Fortunately we're so limp from all the alcohol neither of us is so much as bruised. Boss calmly flags down a passing taxi, and the two of us return to the pub, where the boss promptly calls the cops and reports his truck & drill rig have been stolen. Cops turn up to interview us. We're clearly way too shitfaced to have driven the thing away, so thieves it is. Middle of the conversation other cops call in to report the drill and truck have been found lying in the road under a slightly bent railway overpass. The truck is undamaged enough to drive away, so a crane is brought in to tip the drill back up. I'm driven down to the scene by one of the cops and given special dispensation to get in the rig and drive it back onto the truck, despite my legless state, so the road can be cleared. The truck is moved to a side street around the corner and parked. More drinking commences, followed by vague memories of finding a nearby hotel and drinking from the mini-bar. I'm awakened sometime before dawn by the boss retching into the carpet, then demanding I get up. I get up, have a bit of a retch myself, then we take another cab to where the truck is. Boss insists I get in and drive the truck up to the mine "and park the fucker out of sight and don't tell anyone". I somehow manage to do so, despite still being fairly plastered and having to pull over to throw up several more times over the next 15 hours. A couple of days later, the boss shows up. The truck and rig have been reported as stolen again, the insurance company has been convinced the rig was a write off anyway, and have agreed to pay out for a new rig. The boss has me and my workmates replace a few smashed parts on the 'stolen' rig and it's rolled into service. No idea what happened to the truck - he probably sold it or something. Half a fucking million dollars fraud, repeat DUI.. All this was 18 years ago now, and he never got found out.
(spasm Caitifty, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 23:08, 4 replies)

Fucking YES
I like this
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 23:32, closed)

You had the awesomest boss

(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Sat 9 Jul 2011, 3:00, closed)

Sheer Genius
(Pugwash, Sat 9 Jul 2011, 3:32, closed)

Awesome boss? Not so much..
Actually he was a complete twat. He was 'slightly' undersized and had a huge chip on his shoulder about it - he wore platform shoes at all times to make himself look a bit bigger, right down to specially modified platform steel-cap safety boots for mine-site work. The company was owned by two brothers; he was the junior partner. As part of the aforementioned chip on the shoulder he used to get drunk and challenge his workers to fights (this being normal behavior for drunk drillers, no-one thought anything was odd about it) which he'd always lose. He'd then fire the person, but his brother would promptly rehire and promote them. Beating the silly twit up was regarded as a necessary part of promotion within the company. He always left me alone due to the truck under the bridge incident, which pretty much killed my chances at a promotion. Probably a good thing because I might still be out there drilling holes instead of enjoying life as an academic..
(spasm Caitifty, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 22:21, closed)