I managed to violently render my self unconscious at my own house warming party.
I get the feeling that alcohol is going to play a large part in this QOTW...

Student days again. I’d just moved in to a house with Rob and Phil (this would be late 1988) and we decided to have a house warming party. As it was a cause for celebration, we all skived off for the day, and at around 10 am cracked open some cans. Followed by some more. And some more. Various friends, most of whom were not at college with us and so had to travel a bit, started turning up around mid morning, armed with sleeping bags, bottles, cans and other mood-enhancing substances.

Things were going well – myself, Rob and Phil nodded to each other, in silent reflection that this was going to be a party to remember. Did I mention that we had a live band scheduled to play in our front room? No? A live band, in a thin-walled terraced house. On reflection I can see why the neighbours were so utterly pissed off with us that night. But that’s not important right now.

The combination of (a) being a skinny 17 year old, (b) having very little to eat, if anything, and (c) spending all day on the piss meant that by around 8.30 pm, I was supremely trousered, but not in a twattish way. I don’t get aggressive, abusive or nasty, just giggly, stupid and usually end up falling asleep at some point. Anyway, more guests were arriving, and I was mingling, chatting (actually, probably slurring incoherently) and generally enjoying myself. I wandered into the bathroom, where a small group were huddled. Why the bathroom I don’t know.

In my stupor, I hadn’t spotted that a towel was lying discarded on the floor. A wet towel. I stepped on it, somehow my feet got entangled and I slipped forward, cracking my shins off the edge of the bath, which caused me to plunge headfirst into the tub. But being so utterly spakkered, I didn’t feel anything. As I drunkenly hauled myself into an upright position, one of the guests, concerned at my wellbeing, took one look at my blood-spattered mouth and shrieked “Shit! He’s coughing up blood, he’s coughing up blood”!

This took a couple of seconds to filter through. I’m no doctor, but surely coughing up blood is something to worry about? Alcohol fuelled panic began to course through my veins, the adrenalin kicked in, and I scrambled my way out of the bath…

…To slip once more on the same wet towel, which sent me headfirst again, but this time into the bathroom wall. Apparently I hit the wall with a sickening thud, my head bounced off it and jerked backwards, and there I was, sparked out totally on the bathroom floor with a small group of pissed and tripping teenagers panicking around me.

Two hours later I woke up in hospital, having had my stomach pumped, with some close friends by my bedside. The blood had turned out to be from where I had bust my lip on impact with the bathtub. The party carried on regardless, and I returned to it at around midnight, cracked open a can and carried on as if nothing had happened.

I look back on this and realise that starting drinking at 10am without any food is not really a sensible thing to do. So now I ensure that I’ve had a good hearty breakfast, and wait until 11.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:41, 5 replies)

This wasn't in Halls at Southampton Uni
Circa 2001?

Similar occured there. Vomiting, blood. Nobody noticed the split lip. Ambulance called. etc etc
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:47, closed)

Ashington college circa 1988
It's still on my medical record apparently...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 20 Dec 2007, 13:51, closed)

Southampton's answer to Mr Bump..
Wasn't anything to do with Kieran was it? he's done stuff like that a million times. The back of his head looks like a treasure map.
(Magnus, Fri 21 Dec 2007, 10:49, closed)

I feel slightly bad
But I did laugh like a bastard when you fell over the towel for the second time. :D
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 27 Dec 2007, 0:50, closed)

LemonEntry...
That's OK. It was a tad on the farcical side, I'll admit. I still can laugh about it to this day.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 29 Dec 2007, 14:20, closed)