Czech Tequila Madness
Several years ago I went with a large group to the drinking mecca of Prague, Czech Republic when it was still dirt cheap.
After what can only be described as 10 pints of strong foaming Czech lager, we retired to another bar where we commenced with the drinking of tequila, with me literally throwing them down my swollen neck at the rate of about one a minute.

By now it was about 5.00pm...

I have little recollection of anything resembling reality until I awoke.
I opened my encrusted drunken eyes to see a strange sight - a toothless Tramp's face grinning at me from a bed opposite.

Strange I thought, don’t remember this chap being in my hotel room yesterday…

He gurgled something awful at me.

I thought at this point I should get up and see what the hell was going on - that’s when I realised I was strapped to the bed by my wrists in some perverse leather buckled thing.
The confusion of this was confounded by the realisation that I was, in fact naked, wearing a kind of paper smock that exposed my miniature cock and balls, and clearly in what looked like some kind of Psychiatric ward.

Odd, I thought…

I immediately strated screaming as the tramp chortled and spluttered at me until some orderly wih no grasp of the english language came and released me from my shackles. All I could think of at this point was I need a piss, so instinctively found the toilet and let forth a torrent of sweet urine that I swear must have lasted about fifteen minutes.
Feeling refreshed I sat back on my new bed and wondered what to do next, I needn't have worried as in through the door waddled a massivley overweight Matron flanked by two dead eyed flunkies and brandishing a large squirting syringe saying the word "Veetamin…"
Despite my protestations, they expertly flipped me over and plunged the needle into the soft flesh of my poor young buttock as I wept tears of shame.

Shortly after they flung some sodden rags at me which I eventually discovered were my puke soiled clothes and I dressed. Somehow my wallet and watch must have accidently been misplaced as they seemed to know nothing of their whereabouts...
I was interogated in Czech for some time as the worst hangover of all time screamed inside my skull, before being marched out by two mulleted undercover policemen into a van with lots of evil looking people with scars in handcuffs and driven back to my hotel….Frighteningly about fifty miles away...

When I eventually got back to safe ground, Euro-Crockett and Tubbs marched me to my worried friends hotel room and demanded "Two hundred Pounds"
I almost shat at this point because it was the first day of a two week holiday and I really couldn’t afford it…luckily we soon realised they were in fact demanding "Two hundred Crowns" which was about four quid.

I gingerly checked my rinse hole for signs of intrusion and was relieved to find nothing overtly abnormal.

Apparently I had tried to kill my girlfriend and shat in a pint glass amongst other things...

Length - two weeks of wondering if I had been probed.
(wrigglesworth, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 14:09, 1 reply)

"Euro-Crockett and Tubbs"
excellent!!!
*click*
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 14:54, closed)