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This is a question Easiest Job Ever

Dazbrilliantwhites says he spent five years working at an airport where he spent his days "racing down multi-storey car parks in wheelchairs and then using the lift to go back to the top". Tell us about your best and easiest jobs. Students: Make something up.

(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:14)
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I have the best and the worst job. Six months of one; six months of the other. Regular like clockwork.
My job is certainly “interesting.”

For half of the year, I can do pretty much whatever I want. I have no management-defined goals, and am completely autonomous. During this time, however, I “choose” to work 70+ hours per week because it is the things done during this period that make me more employable and get me (eventually) promotions.

For the other half of the year, near-enough every waking hour is spent working. I will be up at 4am to get into the office for 6am. I will not be able to leave the office until 7pm, sometimes later. I’ll get home around 8 to 8:30 and then it’s pretty much a case of eating something, maybe watching the tiniest amount of TV and getting to bed around 9 – 9:30pm so I can get up the next day. This is on weekdays. On weekends, I’ll get up later and there’s no travelling, but I’ll still need to put in 30ish hours to get through the work. So that’s a 95 hour week right there. 2.7 times what management ever say the work should take if you bring this matter up with them (and before anyone says it, this is normal – I’m not taking 2.7 times longer than anyone else).

Other features of my job: no fixed working times – just “hours as necessary.” Those without career aspirations abuse this during the first six month period by doing sweet FA. You can literally spend months without seeing colleagues and no one knows where they are or what they are doing. For the other half of the year, management royally take the piss by layering the work on, as described above. This is endemic through the organisation. Those in administration functions have responded by ceasing to provide their core service for large parts of the day – their equivalent of what I have to spend 6am to 9am doing every workday, because I don’t have this option.

I also *have* to be in the office in the "busy" six month period. If I don't turn through illness or weather, pretty bad things happen. I have to run two cars just in case one won't start in the morning.

You might think I’m raking it in with all these hours: nope. Fixed salary. Higher than the national average but not massively so. No overtime.

And the worse thing about this? I really want a cat. I mean *really* want one. But I’m never at home, so it would be unfair on the poor wee thing.

Anyone want to guess what I do?
(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 16:09, closed)
Teacher?

(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 16:20, closed)
Close, but worse than that.

(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 16:27, closed)
Nah
There's nothing worse than that...
(, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 13:00, closed)
At first I thought Santa but then realised that was silly.
Then I thought maybe one of Santa's research elves...
(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 16:29, closed)
This is actually exactly what I was thinking.

(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 19:29, closed)
Lecturer in construction related stuff?
Piece of piss. Read your profile.

Still haven't a fucking clue what that means though.
(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 16:31, closed)
Blimey
the stalker gets it.

Hadn't realised that much info was out there...
(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 16:36, closed)
Stalker? Moi?
It was hard work, but after some painstaking research, I sussed it. It took me ages. Your previous replies to QOTWs were very cryptic, but somehow I managed to decipher this;

"I'm a lecturer in construction related things."

I hear GCHQ have a recent vacancy. I may give them a buzz.
(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 17:07, closed)
But....
How or why does this give you 6 months on it and 6 months off it with those hours?
(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 17:49, closed)
Research and Scholarly activities vs Teaching.
The 6 months 70+ hrs bit is a vocation. (most) Academics live for research and do those hours because they love it.

The rest of the year (the worst bit) is lecturing and all the associated crap and outreach which amount pretty much amounts to 7 hrs per 1 hour of teaching. Working that hard for 6 months let's them spend the rest of the year doing "research and scholarly activities"
(, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 23:06, closed)
Yup
this is how it is.

Although UK institutions are increasingly relying on the vocational aspect to demand ever-more output from us.

Today (Sunday) for example, I have two PhD chapters to proof-read (2 hours); six MSc dissertations to mark (3 hours); and three hours of teaching to prep (which on the 3:1 rule of thumb *should* be 9 hours of work).

So six months of shear hell followed by six months of doing largely what you want to.

In the six months of "hell" there are occasional glimpses of things that make it fun - some of the student interactions in class can be genuinely rewarding, for example - but the majority of if is largely institutional admin, teaching prep, teaching delivery, and marking.

Now, of course, if the "two year degrees" eventually make it through, the six months of reward will no longer exist. I wonder how many academics will stay and how many will join if they know that they are expected to offer 90+ hours per week year round. Fine if you're starting up you own company, but not when you're working for "the man" on a 35 hour per week salary.

This change is inevitable as we already teach through the summer everywhere else apart from the UK.
(, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 10:01, closed)
I was gonna say MP, but 6 months work a year is a bit much

(, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 0:38, closed)
I thought the same
until I read the bit about bad things happening if he didn't turn up.
(, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 9:11, closed)
So lets see...
...you work 70+ hours a week during the quiet period, and 96+ hours a week during the busy period. You get fixed pay with no overtime, and not much above the average wage. You dare not take sick time, and don't even have time for a cat? And I have to guess what you are....

Are you a gullible cunt?
(, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 11:33, closed)
Nope. this is one of the better ones I've read
most of the posts have been from lazy shites that steal and don't do a fair days work for a fair days pay.
(, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:05, closed)
are you the sun in the arctic?

(, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 21:27, closed)
I like this.

(, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:41, closed)
"If I don't turn through illness or weather, pretty bad things happen"
Hurmph!!!

If only my lecturers thought the same way!
(, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 17:00, closed)
Trust me
plenty of my peers would cancel at a drop of a hat.

But I don't like the idea of 70-odd students making the effort to get in and me not bothering.

Doesn't seem right somehow.
(, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 19:45, closed)

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