This happened about ten years ago now.
I was in Shrewsbury, attending a conference about the representation of science in the media - it was about as exciting as it sounds, but there was to be a guest debate between Dr. Stephen Amiss and noted Channel 4 journalist Jon Snow, so I hung around a little so that I could at least look at a celebrity.

The debate started oddly; for some reason Snow had leather fingerless gloves on, but he rose to form admirably in a stirring debate about the ethics and responsibility of scientists and journalists when reporting scientific news to the general public. However, whenever Dr. Amiss made a good counterpoint or remark, Snow seemed visibly angry, which built up until he couldn't take it any more. "Fuck you Amiss!" he shouted, "And fuck you all!! I don't need to take this BS!" following which he stormed off the stage. The crowd was shocked and embarrassed, naturally, and we thought that this alone would be a strange story to tell our friends, and we carried on with the conference.

This wasn't the end of it though. About half an hour later, we started hearing engines being revved outside, and suddenly, without warning, Jon Snow in full biker gear burst in through the window riding a dirty great chopper. "I've had it with you nerds!" he announced to the shocked and scared audience, "I've rounded up a gang of street toughs to wipe you out! Snowmen, attack!!". At this signal, more thugs burst in on their motorcycles, hitting people with chains and bits of pipe. I managed to escape the fray, and dialled 999.

"Help, police! Jon Snow and his biker thugs are attacking our conference!".
"Snow? We'll be right over."

It didn't take long for over a dozen police cars to arrive, and Snow, rumbled, rode out of the front doors with his gang following him, in a bid to escape. Running outside to see what was happening, I caught the eye of the chief officer. "Son," he said, "we need all the help we can get. Are you up to the job?". I was rattled, but I didn't want to let the chief down. "Yes sir!". I sat in the passenger seat of his car, and as we set off in chase, he told me to open the glove compartment. Inside was a loaded revolver. "You'll need it to take down Snow." I nodded, then rolled down the window and took aim.

Bang! The first shot missed. Snow was ducking and weaving between pedestrians, which made it hard to aim. Bang! Closer this time, but now Snow was turning round and pulling faces at me, and I was starting to feel embarrassed about not having shot him yet. Bang! Another miss, this one hit a stray dog instead. Bang! Much closer this time, I managed to crack the ornamental gnome Snow had on the back of his bike. Bang! Kaboom! One of his ruffians blocked the bullet, instantly exploding as a result. This was it. From what I understand of revolvers, they only hold six bullets, and I wasn't about to search the car for extra ammunition. Snow was laughing that derisory laugh of his. "Missed me, missed me, now you've got to kiss me!" he was taunting. I took aim.

Bang! I missed him! But that wasn't what I was aiming for. A shrill buzzing noise filled the air as the RC plane I hit headed straight for him. He was wide eyed with terror, unable to avoid it, as it collided with his bike, and for the second time today, a huge fireball erupted, leaving nothing behind but a smouldering crater. That was it - the ordeal was over. The gathered crowd cheered and chanted my name, jubilant over the death of Jon Snow. His mob either disappeared or were rounded up, the dog lived, I won an award from the council for my bravery, and the police chief gave me the most sensual and erotic kiss of my life.
( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 19 May 2013, 20:04, 3 replies)

This to come second.
You must have the most amazing dreams.
(searlichek, Mon 20 May 2013, 2:26, closed)

I get a sensation of deja vue
as though I've read it all before.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 20 May 2013, 13:40, closed)

Good, but needs more newsreader sexeh times.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 20 May 2013, 19:34, closed)