ok
look im really sorry, but "legless" is making an expensive mistake right now. The mistake being annoyingly making up stories and spouting a load of flange into our eyesockets when we read him.


I just know that he is making up another story as i type.
It sickens me
cheers
fuck off
(felch, Fri 26 Oct 2007, 19:24, 19 replies)

Mmm...
I dunno Felch. He says he's a 46 yr old Geordie, so he's had plenty of time [plus a childhood in a less restrictive era] on which to create havoc in. So his exploits are feasible.

But you know what makes him good? The way he -tells- them. Anybody can say "yea, went to pub, got girl, bught fireworks, accidentally blew up neightbour's car etc etc". That's not funny; it's a boring list.

But he composes them in a brill manner. Makes them something to smile at. That's what makes him good to read. Truthful or otherwise. :)
(FightingComet got Boost Power on, Fri 26 Oct 2007, 20:29, closed)

You see the "reply" link?
Thats where your post should be matey.

On a personal note I enjoy Legless's (is that right?) tales - tales they may be (and I'm not saying they are or they ain't) but they're damn good!

much better than your post anyway......
(LargeDoner, Fri 26 Oct 2007, 20:47, closed)

Agree.
As funny as Legless's stories used to be, it's very clear he's seeking attention and making this stuff up.

As much life-experience as he may have, no-one's life is THAT eventful.
(tylrdiablos, Fri 26 Oct 2007, 20:56, closed)

legless
so click ignore then - its simple really

personally i think he is a great story teller but you don't have to read them if u don't want to
(brocky, Fri 26 Oct 2007, 22:21, closed)

Agree
Don't like it, just ignore. Then we don't have to read let another whining pile of shite who's complaining because they can't think us anything remotly amusing so have to try and birng another person down.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 26 Oct 2007, 22:54, closed)

Even though
Legless' stories do , at times, seem a little far-fetched (something we can never prove either way), they are really entertaining, far more so than my stories, or about 75% of the other users' stories, for that matter. He regularly makes the best of page, and writes in a charismatic and engaging style that seems more suited to journalism than IT (not to knock IT guys, but you can see what I mean, the writing style is excellent). I feel there is a large amount of jealousy floating around some of the lesser users. Don't knock the guy just for posting stories every week!
Go Legless! Nolite te bastardes carborundorum!
(pacman_40 Pocket Kleenex: for the wanker on the go, Fri 26 Oct 2007, 23:17, closed)

Cunt.
when you can write something other than pointless bile, then you can have a go at other posters.

Whilst you're fucking off, btw, read the FAQ.
( Kroney, Fri 26 Oct 2007, 23:32, closed)

Yet another pointless swipe at Legless.
Oh yay.

Are his stories true? As it happens, I tend to believe them- I'm of a similar age to him, and have had a hell of a lot of freaky shit happen to me over the past fortysomething years.

But does it matter?

Legless has an age-old talent that most lack- he's an excellent storyteller. He can take what many of us would consider to be an absolutely mundane incident and spin it into a hilarious tale that catches the attention. If that involves embellishment, so be it- he's providing you entertainment, free of charge.

Don't like it? Ask for your money back- I'm sure he'll gladly refund 500% of nothing to you.

Want the sort of attention his stories get? Learn the craft. Like playing a musical instrument, storytelling isn't something that spontaneously happens- it's a talent that's learned.

So go get busy learning, and stop pissing all over the QOTW board.

(Oh, and in case you can't be arsed to read all of the above? It can be condensed down to: fuck off and learn how to be entertaining, you silly little shit.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 27 Oct 2007, 1:08, closed)

Fuck off
and learn how to be entertaining you silly little shit!

'Mon the Legless

Cheers
(Scoopfoot loves lamp, Sat 27 Oct 2007, 1:22, closed)

Hang on a minute...
...let me see if I have got this right felch - people who don't like your comment are telling *you* to click the Ignore button instead of posting?
Good grief people!
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sat 27 Oct 2007, 2:04, closed)

As the old adage goes
Don't be a cunt

Seriously though, Legless's stories are generally entertaining, well written and are worth the time the time taken to read them. Even if you don't always appreciate them, which I don't - and I still appreciate the effort put in!

Your post, on the other hand, isn't fit to be used as bog roll, so be a good chap, take your crappy post, and shove it up yer arse. You whinging twat. And come back when you've got something worth reading. Looking at what you've written so far, you are somewhat lacking in the creative skills necessary for decent, enjoyable writing, so maybe you're jealous? :D
(CaptainNumpty Master of the universe, Sat 27 Oct 2007, 3:00, closed)

Legless is a fantastic storyteller and we all adore his posts
but wasn't that established in similar replies last week?

(and on replies for several posts?)

(perhaps felch should have read last weeks qotw, then he would have been aware of the fan-base and kept his foot out of his mouth)
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 27 Oct 2007, 3:42, closed)

I don't like Felch
Legless for England
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Sat 27 Oct 2007, 4:26, closed)

Yes, because b3ta is the repository for all that is factual and truthful
I couldn't give a monkey's whether Legless' stories are completely true, completely untrue, or fall somewhere between the two.

They're well-written, and bloody funny.

B3ta is entertainment, not the bloody Cook Report.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sat 27 Oct 2007, 12:56, closed)

Legless
I couldn't give a monkey's wanktissue if legless pulls his stories from his hairy arse, they make me laugh. Posters like legless, rachelswipe and frankspencer are popular because they know how to tell a good story.

If people are truly offended that legless has reached his nefarious status by embellishing a few stories then quite frankly, they're the ones that need to 'fuck off' and complain about something that really matters.
(quantum raspberry quizzically quashing Quebecans, Sat 27 Oct 2007, 13:35, closed)

Felch
Felch= Utter cockpiece. Now go and play somewhere else, as I won't be able to see you, due to new technology that allows me to not see a cunt like you. Its called "Ignore".
Au revoir.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sun 28 Oct 2007, 17:31, closed)

Legless on Truthiness
I fully believe him. It's possible to have shit happen to you constantly. I have friends like that*, one of my brothers has had that kind of life, my great-grandfather was always in the wrong place at the wrong time... some of the stories in the past I can't vouch for, but I grew up with my brother! I know the stories are true-I was there for 90% of them.

We're damn lucky Leggie is such a good storyteller. Can you imagine the waste if he couldn't write for shit? God, it brings tears to my eyes!

* I swear my friend Bart is going down in history. I don't know as what, but he's going to be famous.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sun 28 Oct 2007, 19:28, closed)

He's admitted he's sometimes making them up
Doesn't stop them being well told and funny.

Unlike, for example, apeloverage who I put on ignore because he was making it up but was utterly tedious.
(incrediblemonkeydoctor www.rantatsomeone.com - go on, have a rant, Sun 28 Oct 2007, 23:28, closed)

Legless swiperage
I'm guessing you're about twelve and one of those irritating shits we seem to have coming out of the woodwork here who have nothing interesting to say unless you're slagging someone off who's infinitely more talented and interesting than you are.

Thank fuck for the "ignore" link.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 29 Oct 2007, 10:41, closed)