Speaking of the Big One at Blackpool.
Mrs Sandettie and I managed to get a load of our friends together and went on a coach trip to Blackpool for the day. We turned up, had a wander around and some of us decided to go on The Big One.
Now for some reason I still cannot fathom out, as we both were strapped in, I noticed that my missus had her bag between her feet.
"Why have you brought that?"
"I didn't want to leave it with all the others" she replied
"Why didn't you give it to R, the self-designated 'you aren't getting me on that!' person?"
"It'll be ok" she said.

Being at the front, we could see what was coming, and I will always say that the best place to sit on a roller-coaster is the front. I had my arms up, as everybody does on a rollercoaster. However, as we reached the first, outrageously steep drop, I stopped waving my arms about and grabbed the rail.

Then we plummeted down the drop. I caught something out the corner of my eye. I hadn't clue what it was, but I heard her go "SHIT!". She shouted to me that the bag had flown out. God knows where to. Consequently, I didn't really care much or really notice the rest of the ride because I wanted to hurry up and get off to look for it.

We hunted all around for it but to no avail. It was gone for good, as was my silk jacket that was in it, the coach tickets and her camera, though it was only one of those piss-poor 110-film things. Good job we divvied our cash up first, as her half was in the bag.

I didn't care for the camera, I was quite gutted about losing my jacket but the money was worst. We only lost about £20, but back then that was a hell of a lot of cash to us as we were church-mouse poor and had saved up for weeks for that day out. That really did put a downer on the rest of the day.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 19:25, 12 replies)

the big one
i'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, so i love rollercoasters. when the big one opened in blackpool, i knew i had to go on it.
off i toddled, with my cousin, my sister and my nephew. we had a fantastic day, eating seafood and candyfloss, playing in the arcades and going on a buggy ride along the front. soon, however, it was time to ride the coaster.
now, being an utter heiffer at the time, i had a bit of trouble with the safety bar: it wouldn't go down over my boobs.
"no problem," says the ride operator, "we'll sit you in the front seat, it's got a seatbelt."
so i got into the front seat and, after a bit of a struggle, the seatbelt was fastened and the ride was off.
we chugged along the flat bit of track and came to the uphill bit.
*clunk* went the carriage, as it settled onto the pulley-type system.
*click* went my seatbelt, as it came undone.
i was now on one of the biggest and scariest rides in the world, without a seatbelt and with the safety bar flapping freely above my norks. serious brown alert.
i wedged my feet into the sides of the cart and clung on with my hands so tight, i must have left imprints of my fingers in the metal. cresting the top of the slope, i truly thought i was going to die.
fortunately, my impromptu starfish impression was just enough to keep me from falling out of my seat to certain splat on the floor far, far below.
once the ride finished, i got out with very shaky legs. i'd survived! hooray!
the only problem with this is that i'll NEVER be able to top that as a white-knuckle ride.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 14:40, 17 replies)

Just a plug: the Birmingham Sealife Centre is great.
Went there with my mother and son last year, had a wonderful time looking at the fishies and lobsters. They have a wonderful '4-D' show too, where you appear to swim under the sea and are sprayed with water. All good fun.

However, the most amazing bit for me was the Mirror Maze. It's nothing to do with the sea, just a, well, a maze made of mirrors.

You can peep round a corner and see a crowd of yourself peeping back, and if you pick your spot you can stand behind yourself and watch yourself walking away from yourself.

'Tis sorcerie, I tell'ee!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 13:56, 11 replies)

Dutch Exchange
Our school did an exchange with another school in Holland. The family that I stay with was pretty cool. We went over there for a week each year (and this was about three weeks in all), this was quite nearly 9/10 years ago.... During one of my trips over there, my dutch family took me to a theme park, can't remember the name of it.

Any way, the eldest girl in the family (believe her name to be "Jetski" or something like that) was really pretty, and she was the only one of her family that wanted to go on a rollercoaster called "Python" (unsure, but it was something to do with snakes). It looked freakin' evil, loops and corkscrews. And the speed!!! It was going so fast, peoples faces looked like they'd just been hit with a frying pan.

But trying to look cool, and hopefully forge a stronger friendship (and hoping to get kissy kissy time with the beautiful "Jetski"). I agreed to go on it with her.

From the first drop, I closed my eyes and looked down.....what I didn't know is that it takes a picture of us half way around it.

"Jetski": *looking at the pic* Haha, what are you doing?
Me: *quickly looked at the pic, then lying badly* I think I sneezed at that point....

I never got kissy kissy time with her. Not even with contact with the family either. :(
(Dante licked your nipple on, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 12:18, 4 replies)

The state fair.
Once a year the state has a fair. It has rides and games. You never win the games. The rides take you very high and fast. Its once a year.
( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 9:27, 13 replies)

Young Hearts Run Free
the soundtrack to 1000 fights when i were a lad at the shows. even now when i hear it i think 'on guard'!
.
(cescpistol, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 4:19, 1 reply)

In Holland, they don't go running to lawyers
Just outside the Hague is Duinrell, a campsite with a funfair and waterpark attached. Fantastic place that I went to as a kid and later took MrsScars and Little Scars.

However, you need to be a bit cautious. The waitress at a local restaurant warned us not to try too hard on the extreme rides; half the kids in Wassenaar had broken something on the flumes or wound up bruised and scraped falling out of the sledge run. She herself had split her chin open going headfirst into a catch pool wall.

Some years later, I worked with a guy who had got the fastest ever exit speed from the Cyclone. This is an Extreme, with a funnel at the bottom and an 8 foot pool underneath.

It was presented to him while he was in hospital, having his C4 vertebra plated. He'd gone down so fast that instead of falling into the bowl at the bottom, he'd gone right round, over the exit hole and his head had struck the rim. Hard. If his 7 year old daughter hadn't been there, he'd have drowned.

Speed? 72.6 kph.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sun 12 Jun 2011, 0:26, 1 reply)

Wedding anniversary
I asked her, not knowing what to expect, what she wanted to do to celebrate our ....nth wedding anniversary.
"Blackpool"
"OK - any particular things?"
"funfair, rides and all that"
"Fine lets do it, and we'll have a night at a decent hotel".

The day came and we set off for the grandest of grand days out. It was the usual northwestern UK weather, which, for those of you who dont know, involves lost of drizzle and grey skies.... in June.
It did not dampen our spirits and we arrived in that most salubrious of destinations, parked the mobile shed which passed for a car in those days, and headed off in the direction of the funfair.
We got there quite early and bought our tickets and set about trying as many rides as we possibly could in as short a space of time as possible. All was going great, until Mrs G sat down upon a bench and said "I dont feel too well".
- Not ideal given that it was only about 10AM
"My head feels all strange and I cant see properly".
- Oh bugger; what to do?
I make the decision to contact the staff at the park and we were duly whisked into the First Aid station.
This is where it all got rather surreal.
It quickly transpired that the staff felt themselves completely out of their depth with this situation and they decided to call an ambulance.
Whilst we were waiting, we had an "interview" with the management of the funfair who were awfully keen to try and make sure that this "event" did not receive any press attention. I had no idea what was going on and at this point was only concerned for the health of my wife and her immediate needs. The merest thought of publicity had not even ventured into my mind.
Once the management had left the staff at the First aid station then proceeded to tell us "dont listen to all the rubbish the management tell you" and handed us the business card of a lawyer who was "experienced in handling these types of cases".
The ambulance eventually arrived and we spent the rest of our day trip in the A&E and Neuro departments of the Royal Victoria Infirmary. The night was spent at Preston hospital (more facilities and scanners and things).
Happy wedding anniversary.
The funfair refunded our entrance fees and I never did contact the lawyer
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 23:56, 3 replies)

Tenuous but slightly relevant oh no it's not blah blah trolling blah blah shut up.
Whenever someone's yacking on about how "he turned around and said (...) then she turned around and said (...) then I turned around and said (etc.)" I like to imagine all the parties involved were turning around because they were on the waltzer and teacup ride at a fun fair.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 22:34, 7 replies)

Winning fish
When I was 6 Dad took me and my older brother to the local fair. I remember Mum repeatedly saying to us beforehand "Don't you dare come back with a goldfish!". So, of course on arriving at the fair we immediately asked Dad if it would be okay to go and win some fish. He said "yes". We returned to the house with two goldfish, and our very annoyed mother had to go out and buy a fish tank to put them in.

People reassured my mother that they wouldn't last long - but they lived for 11 years. Because she was now known as the family fish keeper, people kept offloading their children's fairground fish on her as well. Eventually she had to get a 15 gallon tank. I only started helping with the water changes after about 8 years...

She never trusted us to go to a fair without her again.
(Supermonkey, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Doggy Style
Flamingoland again.

I’m trying to impress the bosses daughter who fancies herself as a self-styled marketing director.

Now, thinking she might show me her bum I decide that a good photo shoot would be if I don the Sherlock hound costume and pretend to go on the wild mouse ride!

My logic here cannot be argued with – as the ladies on here can confirm - a man dressed a 6 foot 5 dog always makes them get their bums out!

For those lucky many who have not had the displeasure of wearing a costumed character you cannot see a fucking thing out of that massive head. You are relying on your ‘handler’ to keep you out of trouble, stop kids kicking you in the nuts and pulling your tail. And you’re not allowed to speak ‘in case you kill the magic’.

So I walk – hand in hand with said bosses daughter and get on the wild mouse ride – all goes well at first a few photos and job done I think.

No – the ride operator says “fancy a trip round” – no arse shown yet so I thought I’d better do it.

The car sets off with Sherlock Hound in it. It climbs up the hill (enter roller coaster noise ‘clickety clack clickety clack’). Unfortunately the wild mouse ride is a bit wild and it was such a huge task to stop my dog head falling off that I forgot about the photos.

The only ones they got was of Sherlock Hound coming back into the station slumped down in the car like a sack of shit with his head lob sided and slighty twisted.

Safe to say none of the photos were used – and no bum shown either!
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 21:38, 2 replies)

Links Market in Kirkcaldy
has a ride called The Bomber. Surely many other fairs have similar things, it's basically two pods of seats at either end of a straight spinning bit of metal about 5 storeys high.

I get on this with my mate Davie while my other friend Graeme - fearing detached retinas a la Mike in Spaced - and my big scaredy girlfriend stayed at ground level to watch.

We're slowly hoisted up giving me a bracing view of the Firth of Forth and once we get going I can see Graeme and my girlfriend every few seconds watching our excited little faces. I was told later that at this time, the following conversation was taking place:

"I don't like the look of this ride. It's bending in the wind, it doesn't look safe!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure it's fine. They normally make the people who assemble it have the first ride." reassured Graeme sensing my girlfriend was in a little distress.

"I'm absolutely certain no harm will come to him as long as he keeps on gripping those metal bars tightly."
"Yeah, I guess. You're probably right and I'm just worrying too much."

And a couple of seconds later another revolution brought me around again and Graeme guessed correctly that a big double-handed wave from him, would yield one in return back from me.
( djtrialprice, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 20:57, 2 replies)

Great page on old-time carny lingo.
www.goodmagic.com/carny/
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 18:33, 3 replies)

Klingons and Romulans have landed!
About ten years ago I took my boys to King's Dominion for the day. At the time it was owned by Paramount, so there were all manner of tie-ins with movies and TV shows all over the place. This particular day the park was full of people dressed in character for some reason.

As we walked through one area there was a Klingon in full garb standing there, makeup and prosthetics perfect. I looked closely, admiring the detail in the costume, and he grinned and said in a basso profundo voice, "Would you like your picture taken with me?"

I grinned back. "I would, but I don't have a camera. That's a great costume." My sons were hanging back a little, awed by the appearance of a Klingon in their midst, so they never noticed the Romulan who came up behind them and placed a hand on each of their shoulders. They squeaked and ducked behind me again. I said, "Come on, guys, show the Romulan captain a little respect."

He replied, "It's Commander, but thank you." And he bowed slightly.

"Commander, then. So what brings you here today, Commander?"

"I am here to negotiate the surrender of Earth to the Romulan Empire. Why does your government not listen to me? Don't they realize that I have five quantum torpedoes aimed at the planet at all times? With one command I could obliterate-"

"You know what the problem is?" I interrupted. "You're not happy enough."

He looked a bit stunned.

"Come, I'll teach you to be happy!" And I began singing "Happy Happy Joy Joy" from Ren & Stimpy and dancing, trying to do the butt bump with him.

The twentysomething kid in the outfit started to blue screen as this idiot started singing and capering around him, and I could see him struggling to come up with an appropriate response as my sons giggled and the Klingon was struggling not to piss himself. Finally he roared, "Go away! You're evil!" and stalked away, leaving the Klingon with tears streaming down his cheeks as he gave in.

Fun times.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 11 Jun 2011, 18:19, 1 reply)

My most memorable day at a fairground
was almost certainly the worst day in the totality of my six years I'd spent on this Earth. It has also served as the most convincing argument for my own young sons.

I'm not convinced they'd invented wavy lines back then, so make do with the horizontal tracking button.

Hampton Court fair it was, funny how you remember these things, and the whole family was there. I had to take my cuddly toy everywhere back then, a little spittle ridden toy puppy. My dad and I went on the bumper cars and I put my toy down in the footwell. Of course, with the excitement I forgot it was there until we were half way back to the car when I began screaming. Kindly, dad took me back to the ride, and we searched, but no doubt some kid had found a bonus gift and the toy was never to be seen again.

It was only a stupid cuddly toy, but it was my world back then, and I learnt the toughest lesson I'd ever had, with many years to pass before it was surpassed.

My own children both have their own favourite toys, without which they won't sleep, eat, or even breathe without tears. So I've even gone to the ends of the internet to ensure I have a spare should the same trauma ever sully their little lives. Whatever happens, I always make sure they are either permanently attached to the child or left at home to guard the house! When I told my first born this story, in order to leave his teddy at home, he cried and offered me his own (second favourite) toy! But he learnt from my lesson, which is perhaps the wisest thing he could have done. Happily leaving his teddy to 'guard' the house whenever we go somewhere he might leave it.

Lesson; Like gambling, don't take anything you're not prepared to lose with you.

If apologies are deemed necessary for such a sickly story, tough. I lost my toy and I mourned his loss for months and years afterwards.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 17:31, 4 replies)

Disneyworld.
I have been to Disneyworld twice, and have no desire at all to ever go back there. I won't list my reasons for my dislike as others have already voiced most of them; suffice to say it's not a place that appeals to me on any level.

My favorite moment there, though, is one I'll treasure forever.

They have a small imitation Mississippi steamboat that goes chugging along a small waterway. My sister and niece and I got on board, mostly because we adults were tired and wanted to sit for a bit. We were parked in a nice shady spot, waiting for the ride to load, when a hyperactive girl of about nine popped on board with her tired looking mother. The girl ran all round the boat, jumping on the seats and racing back and forth and being thoroughly obnoxious while the adults on the boat glared at the mother. Finally the kid stopped in the center of the boat and shouted at the top of her lungs in an aristocratic tone, "MOM! IS THIS BOAT MOVING?"

"No, dear," came the weary reply.

"THEN WHY ARE WE ON IT?"

I burst out laughing, followed by the rest of the onlookers, and the mortified mother dragged her precious daughter off to parts unknown.

Somehow that completely summarized the entire experience for me.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 11 Jun 2011, 16:53, 4 replies)

Don't forget your flip-flops.
Went to a water park somewhere outside Benidorm when on holiday when I was 7-8 I think.

Fantasticplace place to spend the day for young me, running around in just swim shorts all day, and a tee shirt for a couple of hours around noon.

So came teatime and we made to depart, me trailing behind to soak up as much of this aquarian paradise as I could. On leaving I took my first step on the macadam to catch up with my distant kin.

Fuck that hurt. I instantly learned all about the capacity of dark hard surfaces to absorb solar radiation and store it as heat. Scared of being left behind abroad, I scampered / limped what must have been a hundred yards but felt like a hundred miles to my family and the sweet relief of footwear.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Revenge of the ride operators!
As a ride operator, you have to deal with a certain amount of crap from the public. There are pushy parents, bratty kids, obnoxious teens showing off for girls, and the general attitude that you're just a part of the ride and not a human being.

Most rides are pretty simple to operate, usually consisting of a power switch and a brake lever or some such. Ferris wheels, for instance- just a lever that you push over one way to engage a clutch and the other way to engage the brake. The operator doesn't have much control over the actions of the machine when it's started- with a few exceptions.

My favorite, the Tilt-A-Whirl:



As you can see, you sit in a semicircular car that pivots around the central point of the circle as it goes up and down over an inclined track. You think can get the thing to really swing by leaning one way or the other, but in reality you can't- so the operator occasionally hits the brake lever to make them swing.

I was very good at that.

So occasionally I would get a car of obnoxious kids that gave me attitude, and I would keep careful track of them and hit the brake at just the right moments to make their car spin like a spastic ballerina, whipping them around until the centrifugal force made their vomit spray all over the place- and then spin them a little more for good measure, pretending I didn't see them heaving. I would send them, gray and moaning and staggering, back to their parents to deal with their smelly whimpering brats. I would then close down the ride for a half hour while I got out the hoses and Lysol and washed the cars, then let them dry, thereby taking a nice little mid-shift break.

I loved running that ride.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 11 Jun 2011, 16:20, 5 replies)

I am a support worker
and I work with a very disabled gentleman who I shall call Steve. Steve cannot speak, he cannot walk unaided and he has a damaged spine held together with a steel bar. Nature was unkind to Steve because inside all of the Autism and physical disability there is a kind and gentle human being who I am very fond of. It takes a special bond to be made a key worker and advocate.

Steve struggles going out, my co workers really struggle trying to motivate him to go out when I am not there and they usually resort to housework while Steve listens to the noise of the vacuum cleaner or his radio.

Last week on a glorious sunny Day a co worker and I decided that Steve needed a break from the house and the theme park down the road was open. So using basic language and Makaton (sign language for people with learning disabilities) I told Steve we were going to ride roller coasters and then get chips!

Steve was out of the door like a whippet on a track! Once at the park we queued for the rides which Steve is not good at, his level of Autism makes time an unreal concept for him and he wants stuff right there and then, but he waited for his go with more than his usual patience. I stood back and watched him ride the coasters. The smile on his face combined with the laughter said more to me than Makaton ever could. He rode every roller coaster and had two goes on the log flume. He finished it up with his chips and we went back home, where he lay on the sofa holding my hand and smiling.

I love my job, my mate Steve is awesome and I have had more fun with him than I have had with some of my fully able bodied friends.

Not my usual sickness, but it is all true.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 13:53, 16 replies)

Tenous
But I may as well say it - in Pompeii I followed an American family where the 'Mom' said, audible to all in her whiney voice 'Why didn't they make this flat like Disneyland?'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 8:37, 5 replies)

Space Mountain
Disney World. 2005. While waiting in line for Space Mountain, I heard a family in front of me. There was a girl, young but apparently old enough to go on the ride, just sobbing, going "I don't want to go on the ride, Mommy, I don't want to go!" Her mother was responding with "Oh, it's okay honey, it's not scary at all!" This mostly went on until they got on the ride. They went on ahead of me and I had to wait for the next cars so I don't know what happened. Still, screw you, lady. Way to traumatize your kid so you could go on a ride.
(mariam67, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 5:37, 2 replies)

I shared a cab
with a drunk guy last night. As I asked the cabbie to stop so I could ralph into some bushes the other guy bolted.
"Stop him he hasn't paid!" shouted the cab-driver.
Quick as a flash I had jumped out & tackled the drunk guy and brought him back to the cab.
"Cheers mate" said the cabbie, "He can cover your share for trying to do a runner."
& that's how I went to a dodgy fare and got a free ride.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 11 Jun 2011, 1:39, Reply)

When...
...I grew up, I always wanted to go on the Roller Coasters. Then the paddock down the road advertised that the rides were coming. Sadly when I got there the field was still full of horses.

No fair.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 0:15, 4 replies)

A haunted house and a brother on acid.
Haunted houses come along once a year so they fucking do count as on subject.

My dad, both sisters, my brother, and I went to a haunted house about 13 years ago. This was when haunted houses were actually scary, and this one was put together by some production company and the people who did the makeup and costumes for Hellraiser and some other gorefest. My brother Johnny, unbeknownst to us, had dropped acid, and with great timing, peaked as we arrived. He snuck up my older sister and screamed in her ear, causing her to piss herself.
We knew this was going to be a unique experience as we still in the parking lot!
While in the line, er queue, Johnny was doing the thriller dance to the music in his head and screaming every time he saw something scary, so he was screaming every five seconds.
Once inside the haunted house, all was well until we got to a maze, and there were strobe lights. Johnny started freaking out and somehow ended up on the wrong side of the walls, where the house employees were walking around. He was screaming for my dad, but we all call my dad homie(yes it's from the simpsons). So he was walking around unseen, yelling "Homie!". At one point there was a wall between us and we were knocking on it trying to meet at one point, but he got lost again.
Finally my sister and I found him, he asked some guy if he was the mazemaster. The guy responded with the funniest line I've ever heard in my 29 years and is a huge joke for my entire family. "I ain't no fuckin' mazemaster!" he exclaimed. We eventually made our way out, and were not politely asked to never return as it was about 1 am and we got there around 8:30 and apparently caused a huge disturbance and scared more people than the employees did.

I make no apologies for length, if you want something short, I'll gaz you a picture of my cock.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 0:04, Reply)

We had an empty paddock instead of an amusement park where I grew up.
Its not fair.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 23:37, 9 replies)

I can't find a picture of it
but we had a huge slide at the park that required you to sit in little burlap bags with a strip of carpet on the underside. The tops of the bags had some sort of plastic coating on them and a little pouch you stuck your feet into to keep the bag under you as you slid.

One night some friends and I hopped the fence after a night out drinking, and decided it would be cool to go down that slide at 2am. As we climbed up one of the guys noted that the slide was wet with dew, which meant that we wouldn't slide very well- we'd get stuck partway down.

"It's okay!" piped up one drunken voice. "Flip the bags over shiny side down and we'll hydroplane!"

I still don't know why we thought this was a good idea, but we got to the top and put the bags shiny side down and sat on them. One guy let out a whoop and pushed off, and I saw him get airborne on the first drop. I immediately followed suit.

Had I heard him hit bottom I wouldn't have done it.

I went forward about twenty feet, zooming far faster than normal for this ride, and found myself about two feet above the slide through about a twenty foot drop down as the slide curved away under me. Then the slide slammed up against me as I hit the bottom of the trough and flew up the other side. The end of the slide and the carpeted area where you were supposed to safely slide to a stop were at least a foot below me as I slammed into the fence, three feet from my groaning friend.

We heard the whoops and rumbles just in time to roll out of the way as three more drunks flew past us and crashed into the fence, then lay bruised and bleeding on the carpeted area. I remember hearing a whimpered "Oh FUCK."

Very sober, we limped back to our cars and went home and never spoke of it again.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 22:47, 3 replies)

Sandbach Fair
It arrives every September and it's always crap.

Fixed shooting games, arcade machines released around the time of MC Hammer's debut album and the rides. The rides.

The Carribean Dancer was a favourite for most, but I'm not a fancy of being shaken up. Least of all if the machine has been knocked up in an hour or two.

One year the "spinning and lifting up thing" (I believe that was it's official name) wasn't earthed properly. Every so often a big blue bolt of electricity would arc from the arm into the spinning cab below and "get" the passengers.

We watched this for three full rides before going to the pub.
(xaer0mancer, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 22:42, 3 replies)

I worked at an amusement park.
I was a ride operator, which meant that I stood there in the direct sun for nine hours at a time pushing buttons. Even at 16 I soon got bored with this.

One day I went to the back of the park to relieve one of my co-workers as she operated the Roundup so she could get lunch. The ride looked like this:



See the entrance ramp on the left with its red pipe railings? That's where the controls are. As you look at the picture, the thing ran clockwise.

As I approached I saw that the ride was shut down, and Joyce was nowhere to be seen. I was a bit puzzled until I encountered her coming around one of the buildings, dripping water from head to foot and looking as miserable as a miserable little thing. "Joyce? What the hell happened to you?"

"A kid threw up when they were right over the engine."

To make up for bursting out laughing I traded rides with her for the rest of the day.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 10 Jun 2011, 22:25, 2 replies)

WGASA
Some years ago, the famous San Diego Zoo opened a second, larger branch called the San Diego Wild Animal Park. The Park is built around an enormous open-field enclosure where the animals roam free. To see the animals, visitors ride on a monorail called the Wgasa Bush Line which circles the enclosure.

They wanted to give the monorail a jazzy, African sounding name. So they sent out a memo to a bunch of zoo staffers saying, "What shall we call the monorail at the Wild Animal Park?" One of the memos came back with "WGASA" written on the bottom. The planners loved it and the rest is history. What the planners didn't know was that the zoo staffer had not intended to suggest a name. He was using an acronym which was popular at the time. It stood for "Who Gives A Shit Anyhow?"
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 21:41, 2 replies)

Adventure Island, Southend.
Amongst the roller coasters and the crazy golf and the like, Adventure Island still has one of the old fashioned Arcades. The type with Crane Toys and Fruit Machines and those things where you drop a 2p piece onto a moving ledge and if you are very lucky you get a pocket full of more 2p pieces back to weigh you down for the rest of the day. And at the back of that arcade, they still have one of those sea front bingo things, where you all sit in a line marking off numbers in the hope of winning that dusty and immovable Cathode Ray Tube TV that has been there since 1976. So after a day of riding rides and eating at the 'eats' stand, I decided I'd have a few games of the old bingo, just to see what it is like in reality. I sat down and looked at the person next to me. Unbelievably, it was Hugh Laurie.

Ironically, he never won a game.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 20:22, 12 replies)