Just what I always wanted
Dear Auntie Susan and Uncle Joe,

Thank you soooooo much for the novelty Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer slippers!! The nose lights up when you walk! That's amazing! I was just saying to mum and dad that I could do with a new pair of slippers because my beautiful stripped pine floorboards are so cold in the winter and my handcrafted Moroccan leather slippers do slide a little on the carefully-chosen honey-coloured varnish. I guess that's why they call them slippers, eh? Ha ha ha!

But yes, not every 32 year old woman with impeccable taste in interior decor and a love of minimalist design is fortunate enough to have such generous relatives. I'll think of you when I wear them. Their little antlers match the embroidery on my exquisite cream silk robe.

It's a pity we don't see you as often as we should, but it's so lovely you do know me well enough to understand how much I appreciate your humourous gift-giving! Imagine being able to get those in a size big enough for an adult!

Once again, thank you, and I do hope you liked your photo frame and scented candle.

Your loving niece,
CHCB x
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:27, 6 replies)

Cheers CHCB
That's given me a nice giggle at the end of a hectic day:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:31, closed)

Dear (almost) brother in law
thank you so much for the humorous t-shirt which reads "Feck - Irish connection" and the packet of "gummi Baff" which i'm sure most 5-6 year olds will find hilarious. I very much appreciate the time and effort you must have spent finding them compared to the mere seconds I took finding that rubbish hand made clock in covent garden, and the crap set of make up brushes with matching carry case that we got your partner. I was so impressed on Christmas day, it's such a shame you weren't there to see my face.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:41, closed)

You guys are going to
blow my stealth cover as I can't stop giggling at work :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:49, closed)

Dear Mother in Law
thank you so much for the lovely tartan tights you bought for my birthday. They'll look so stylish with my smart black skirt suits and court shoes.

And thanks also for the pack of knickers. A girl can never have too many pairs, although I usually buy a size 8, rather than 12-14. Still, they'll keep my chest warm eh?

Your ever loving daughter in law
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:34, closed)

Dear Grandma
Whilst your Christmas presents are always so lovingly thought out, I thought an extra special thank you was due this year. Both I, my mother, and my father were delighted with our matching biros. It was sweet of you to just buy plain pens, without all that useless packaging that so often surrounds Christmas presents.

I would also like to thank you on behalf of all three of us for the £10 cheques you gave us. I'm sure this will go a long way to covering my London living expenses, and parents will no doubt be able to pool their £20, and put this towards the cost of their mortgage. I'm glad you thought about the fact that this money could quite easily be stolen in the post, and I'm sure the £5 journey into town to reach my bank will be well worth it.

Having spoken to my cousins, I hear that they are very happy with their mountain bikes.

Ever grateful
x
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 21:35, closed)

Beat this
Dear Mum

I'm so glad that you've decided that, instead of attending my wedding in Japan this year, you'll be taking my sister and her husband on an all expenses paid trip to China.

I fully understand that this is completely different from when you cancelled our asian trip as you had to pay for my sisters wedding.

The kind offer of $2 thousand dollars towards our airfares is greatly appreciated, I am sure that your financial situation was greatly affected by spending $25 thousand on my sister's wedding last year, let alone the China trip.

I'll be sure to take photos to bring back as I'll know you'll want to see what you'll be unfortuantly missing. With only the two of us going now, I'm sure we will be able to get some very picturesque shots against the landscape outside Kyoto(I'm sure that we will be able to find someone to hold the camera and not steal it).

Love
Miss Kitty and Mr Kitty
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 5:09, closed)