Particle accelerators
I was a lab assistant back in high school, and I remember the instructor asking me to look through a lab supply catalog for items that might be useful. I came across particle accelerators for less than two dollars each. What could those be? Maybe not as powerful as what they have at CERN, but hard to tell based on the cursory description. Curiosity got the better of us, so we ordered a few. Proto-zorbs, much like this:


(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 7:17, 3 replies)

I just ordered a Tesla
False economy. Don't care. Just thought you should know.
(indie design Can I smell lobster bisque?, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 23:10, Reply)

Scaryduck's started running QOTW over ten days rather than seven to try and..
...eke out the paucity of ideas for it.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 22:10, Reply)

Cheesy drums
A wheel bearing went on my Ford Fusion (called, when I remember, the Magnet as the last 3 letters are FNE. It's funny on some part of space-time, I'm sure). These are pressed into the rear brake drums, so I went on eBay and found some kind soul selling drums with the bearings already pressed in, with brake shoes for a damn good price, or so it seemed...

Come the next MoT, I needed to adjust the handbrake cable. Jack up the rear, pop it on axle stands, try to take the wheelnuts off. Ah. The studs are turning in the drum, presumably because the drums are seemingly made of cheese. Result? New drums and new fecking wheel bearings, and a bill for £400! Bah!

Why did I not just get bearings pressed in by a friendly garage? To do that would have needed me to take the heavy drums off, and then manhandle them to the aforesaid friendly garage by public transport, and I figured the drums might need replacing soon, anyhow.

Length? Brake drums are round...
(marknotgeorge is not worried. It's my natural expression., Tue 24 Jun 2014, 21:32, 6 replies)

So that's where Rob Fairholme went
44,000 litres? No worries mate! EDIT possibly NSFW
(Eukanuba, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 21:18, 3 replies)

I keep buying inferior drones
The first has radio communication issues and plummets out of the sky unexpectedly. The second has one slow propeller, so it skitters sideways and frightens the pigeons. I'm thinking about scavenging both and creating a high tech marvel that bobs and dodges, evading both discovery and control.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 20:57, Reply)

I bought a 15 pack of fancy dual-blade razor heads.
Then decided to stop shaving two weeks later.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 19:57, 1 reply)

I thought I would save a fortune changing all the light fittings in my kitchen instead of getting in an expensive electrician but unfortunately I electrocuted myself and died.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 19:24, 9 replies)

This question is really cheap. Bet it falls apart after 3 days.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 19:01, 2 replies)

I bought an imitation Misery McUgly Wife and it just would not behave. I wanted swimming pool stories
and meltdowns and it gives me property empires and almost German porn. Useless. Saving up for a Dr. Skagra kit now and that better be good.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 19:00, 4 replies)

Sedatives: Cheaper than babysitters
Oh fucking cunt it! I think the scraper they used for the bottom of the barrel to get this QOTW out may have been unreasonably cheap
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 18:35, 2 replies)

5p jar of cottage pie mix from home bargains
just add chopped carrots, top with mashed potatoes and bake in the oven it said on the label.

when it came out of the oven it smelled rank and tasted ranker. dont know what I was thinking, I should have posted it to ashens instead
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 18:08, 2 replies)

When will I learn?
I spent over £1,000 building my own pizza oven. Thought it would save me the £100+ I spend a week on greasy deliveries from Dominos.

Nah. My own pizzas look, smell and taste like baby-sick, so I'm still coughing up a fortune to Dominos AND I'm a grand down.

I still fire it up every night though, it gives me somewhere warm to sit when I'm doing my 12am to 6am trolling sessions.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 17:30, 19 replies)

I paid a pair of romanians to kill scaryduck
should have hired some proper Irish.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 17:06, 1 reply)

fucking iPhone 5 cables
biggest single rip off ever.

I am on my 3rd official one from Apple, however when my first one decided to fuck off to the land of all the other Apple cheaply made tat, I decided to purchase a "lightning cable" from Asda.

It worked for 3 weeks. Then that got fucking put out in the garden along with the iron to think about how they had annoyed me and let me down.

Pieces of shite.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 16:37, 11 replies)

My mates were broke, so did their shopping and that was it - no sudden movements for at least four weeks.
One decided to try and cheer them both up by getting some chocolates - from the poundshop.

They had one each, and the box stayed there for a month.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 16:34, 1 reply)

Poundland strikes again
Looking for a cheap carabiner clip-on compass to take on holiday (I keep breaking them), I saw that Poundland (Brighton) had a key-ring 'survival whistle' with a small compass on it. Tried a few, and saw they all pointed in different directions. Picked one out that seemed to point the right way, then after second thoughts decided to turn it a few times...

Turns out every single one of them was pointing not north, but towards the metal key-ring through the end of the whistle part; they'd all got a slightly magnetised key ring loop. Genius. Uri Geller should shop there...
( joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 16:24, Reply)

You COULD have gone with Heckles 3! IN 3D! this week, but nooo, you said that it's SFX budget was too big.
:(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 24 Jun 2014, 16:21, 2 replies)

At Christmas I bought a lobster from Lidl
It was 'fresh frozen' and only £9. Looked like a great value.

Came to use it and once I'd thawed it, it turned out that in the big packet (about a foot long) was a load of ice containing a tiny lobster, still in its shell.

So I got 2 table spoons of lobster for £9
(LetsGetDownToIt, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 14:14, 6 replies)

I bought a jar of caviar from Lidl because it was one pound forty-nine.
Halibut eggs. Not good.
( Zuowan, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 14:10, Reply)

Missing Buttons
I bought a low cost typing thing for my pc but, not long from when I bought it, a vital button was faulty and did not work.It is a bit of a pain not having a working button by W and R as it is vital for many common words.

Omitting that button in my writing is hard and it is as if I am talking funny (though I do not).

Moral - Do not by a low cost typing thingy for your PC.
(WholeGrain Using the same sig since, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 13:58, 11 replies)

I once bought pork stuffing because it was cheaper than minced meat.
Thereby failing to take into consideration the fact that shop-bought stuffing contains glucose syrup, several heart attacks' worth of fat and enough salt to wipe out the slug population of the British Isles.

Made a stir-fry with it. Halfway through cooking I had to take all the veg out and pour the pan's contents through a colander to remove the centimetre of grease that had sweated out of the "meat". Ate it anyway and it was fecking rank.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 13:57, Reply)

So anyway I bought a baby elephant but it grew into this goat:

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 13:46, 6 replies)

ok, i've set up this new qotw for you, now behave or i'll seriously start stepping
yeah ok?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:56, 20 replies)

I once saw a question that I thought would stop everyone bitching at me relentlessly,
but it only had mileage enough for two days, so I had to keep my old one going for an extra 5 days to cover the difference.

Everyone bitched at me even more than usual.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:54, 5 replies)

Once out of desperation for a new QOTW
an inferior question was selected.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:51, Reply)

I bought some marked down fish from Morrisons
It didn't taste very nice
It was a cheap Skate
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:47, 1 reply)

1st
I bought the cheapest corkscrew in the shop. It snapped on the first bottle of wine, making it impossible to get to the grape booze inside. Waste of money and wine.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 24 Jun 2014, 12:47, 13 replies)