Easiest Costume ever:
Pint Of Guiness: Black shoes, black jeans and black jumper that shows the neck of the white t-shirt your wearing underneath.

Minimum effort, maximum result. Plus you don't look like a knob walking to the party.
(Anarchy Duck, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 15:26, Reply)

The best i've worn
is when I went to a party as a hobo.
Spent the whole night eating cold value beans from the tin.

Worst: Last Halloween...party at my house thrown by flatmate. Just put my crime scene suit and a mask on.

Worst party ever.
( NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Sat 14 Jan 2006, 15:24, Reply)

Tarts and Vicars theme
I went as a Bakewell tart.
(Turangalila, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 14:40, Reply)

Famous Pairs
... was the theme. People turned up in twos, as Laurel & Hardy, Torvill & Dean, Cat & Fiddle, etc.
I went as Lolo Ferrari.
(Or it could have been Jordan or Pamela Anderson. Blonde wig, two large balloons, you get the idea.)
(Turangalila, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 14:31, Reply)

Vikings, tadgers and real nurses
Back in my days as a student at Plymouth uni dressing up was a regular event. So much so that most people would own several different outfits and many lads actually had a goodly collection of make-up and whores perfume (pound shops can supply all these cosmetic items, at just a pound each!). I think it was either my 19th or 20th birthday and we had settled on a theme of Vikings. Many lectures were missed scouring local charity and toy shops for pointy helmets, plastic swords/axes and kilts. A lad I lived with called Skip was unable to find a kilt so had to settle for a second-hand Marks and Spencers plaid mini-skirt.

Come 1100 on the big day and myself and Skip set out for a pub (The James Street Vaults for those in the know) next to the uni campus. We lived about a 20min walk which must have taken as least 40min that day due to the regular stops for pillaging and sword fights.

As we arrived on campus a couple of bus loads of spotty high school kids had also just arrived for a look around this esteemed school of learning. Of course we waded right through the middle of them swords and axes flailing wildly. I’ve always wonder whether we encouraged more or less of those kids to apply for Plymouth, probably more I reckon.

Flip forward a few hours and things are getting decidedly more blurry. Several bloody wounds are in evidence thanks to one lad who had bought a plastic axe which provided weighty enough to de some serious damage. Many other Vikings have arrived and we had started a drinking competition which was something along the lines of drink 5 pints, 4 bottles of lager, 3 doubles, 2 alcopops and a Jack Daniels with anyone finishing sans-chunder winning a T-shirt.

Skip was feeling the effects of many guinesses’ before starting the race and was having trouble performing everyday tasks. A non-Viking came up to me and explained that Skip had fallen on the way to the toilets and was lying on his back in the middle of the packed pub with his M&S mini-skirt over his stomach and his tadger in full view. After checking he was ok, and taking a photo, we left him too it as he still had hold of a beer, his drinking arm was free, nobody seemed to mind stepping over him and the bar staff were fellow students didn’t seem like they were going to throw him out.

Some time later Skip has picked himself up and now the majority of blokes are also sitting around with kilts tucked up to show that they too have come commando.

More beer later and once again im told that Skip has fallen down. This time its outside and much blood is involved. So out I go and find out that after finding a big queue for the toilets he had gone for a slash outside. Whilst half way through the deed he had lost his balance and toppled backwards. For reasons that the couldn’t explain, instead of putting out his hands to break his fall he had keep a firm, double-handed grip on his old man and instead had slowed his fall with his own head. Fool.

One trip in an ambulance later and we are in hospital. Skip has passed out on the hospital bed, the top half of which was now soaked in a combined mixture of blood and vomit [Head wounds bleed a LOT]. Unfortunately he woke up mid way through his X-ray’s and as he was a bit confused wouldn’t lie still. After several failed X-rays the nurses ask me if I can try to get him to stay still. Sure, I answered, stepping forwards, punching him in the stomach and getting him in a head lock. Their reaction make it quite clear that this wasn’t what they intended and they even got quite stroppy with me. Well what the f#ck do they expect, I’m not exactly a trained health-care professional. Ungrateful bunch of slags trying to get me to do they job for them. No wonder they get paid so little if they have to get assistance from drunken bystanders for the simplest procedure*

We are then taken through to the ward for Skip to get stitched up by one very cute female trainee doctor and a matron-type evil nurse. Now, it’s a well known fact that blokes are at their most charming whilst pi#sed and splattered in vomit. Me and the doctor are soon bonding, and she has let me have a go at using the razor to cut away the hair surrounding Skips head wound [maybe I too should have become a doctor?]. Evil nurse** is not happy and TELLS the doctor that im not allowed to have a go at the stitching. Oh well, I guess its the medical professions loss rather than mine.

Stitching done and we are left alone in the ward whilst they find somewhere for him to stay for the night. Im drunk and bored, and so go for a wander. In an adjoining empty room I found a blood pressure machine on one of those three-wheeled type things that trail behind really ill people carrying plasma and stuff. I wheeled this back into his room, wrapped the collar-thingy around his arm and began pumping.

I had got it well inside the red zone before he woke up and began to squeal like a girl. Kept me amused for a few minutes though.

Nurse comes back, takes him off to a proper ward and I am given a pair of NHS trousers to go home with (Since leaving the pub all I have been wearing is a kilt and horned helmet with most of the rest of me smeared in Skips blood).

For anybody who hasn’t worn NHS trousers they are like pyjamas except the groinal area is open with no zip or buttons. I accidentally exposed myself to many, many people whilst trying to find a taxi that night.


*Most nurses do a very difficult job and should be paid much more than they do. Just not these ones.
**Or this one





If you didn’t like the length you would have stopped long ago.
(Digstar fu#king loves biscuits, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 14:22, Reply)

I like fancy dress
The best costume I ever seen was a mate of mine who went as a pack of 20 Benson ciggies with the health warning "Smoking Seriously Rocks!" He got a few dirty looks that night.

I hate to admit it but when I was about 17 I went to a fancy dress party as 'The Crow' THE SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Bamboo Steamer, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 12:19, Reply)

Offensive
My mate went to a haloween party in Liverpool last year as a back street abortionist complete with a dirty coat hanger and a jar full of "products of conception" (really bits of chicken covered in strawberry jam). I have quite a stern constituton, but this was fucking horrible.
At the same party the year before he went as Ken Bigley. Someone's going to slap him soon.
(donksta, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 11:05, Reply)

I didn't choose to wear this...
The worst outfit I've worn at a party consisted of one can of shaving foam, a packet of bendy drinking straws and an over ripe banana. In my defense I was very, very drunk and someone had given me a funny smelling roll-up.
I have however from my own choice spent an evening wandering the streets of Bath wearing nothing but a furry leopard print toga. (Remember don't go drinking before you buy your costume!
(lankymike, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 11:03, Reply)

drag
One of my mates had a fancy dress party for her 18th, one of those that if you haven't made a huge effort with your costume you weren't gonna be let in. I decided, the despite the fact I'm a girl, to go as a drag queen (girl dressed up as a boy dressed up as a girl, hmm). I did the whole pink wig, false eyelashes, 6 inch heels, feather boa bit. Not even my best friend recognised me. I also found out later that everyone there thought I was a huge exhibitionist - which I'm not at all, I was just getting into character.
(hmm., Sat 14 Jan 2006, 9:57, Reply)

Eeeek!
When I was younger I worked in a "restaurant" (I use the term loosely, as did they) that stayed open quite late, and was consequently quite popular with the inebriated populace when the pubs shut.

In an attempt to disguise the fact that they'd rostered you on to work New Year's Eve they made it a fancy dress night for the staff. I think Christmas-induced alcohol poisoning had temporarily disabled my good taste gland, because I got the idea of turning up in drag. A bra, blouse an skirt was procured from various female relatives, and one enthusiastic cousin gave me a good plucking, applied false nails and make-up that would do a geshia proud.

Let me assure you that there are much better ways to welcome the new year in than being propositioned and pinched on the ass by pissed patrons.
( Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 6:35, Reply)

party of
my (now ex.. bitch!) girlfriends' mate. Fancy dress. Fucking easy, I thought. Throw on me hakama (*sigh* - those flappy skirt trousers that samurai wear. you wear them for kendo), push me sword through me belt and go as a samurai. Don't even need to buy a costume! All the girls going as the highly original and never-before-been-done-to-death "goth fairy"? Magic! They'll be hot, and my costume will look miles better by comparison! :D Yeah? Yeah?

No.

Walk through the door to face a dozen trendies all sat, plainly clothed, drinks in hands, looking totally nonplussed.

Hostess: "Oh, did we forget to tell you it wasn't fancy dress any more?" Retard.

Girlfriend promptly slips off her £1 from the pound shop fairy wings and blends right in.

One of the trendies pipes up: "Look! He's come as a chinaman!"

The night went downhill from there...
(Order 66, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 4:10, Reply)

Being a huge fan of Rocky Horror . . .
I decided to turn up to a friend's fancy dress as Magenta - maid's outfit, fishnets, stilletoes . . . the whole nine yards, complete with bouffant hair and white stripes at either temple. My then boyfriend wanted to surprise me with his costume . . .







He came as Frank'n'furter . . . he wore a backless red cocktail dress and stocking

What I want to know is, where did he get the size 12 heels ?
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Sat 14 Jan 2006, 1:31, Reply)

I actually like fancy dress
I'm quite a fan of fancy dress... always a good way to spice up a night out.
my worst costume would have to be riff-raff from the rocky horror picture show, it was only when i saw the pics of myself that i realised a fat hairy bloke shouldn't be wearing a costume made out of clingy clothing and have a jacket with the front open so that man boobs are plainly visible lol
(Hairy_Lee, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 1:13, Reply)

About 3 years
ago I was staying at a hostel in Edinburgh. I hung about with a Kiwi fella who worked and lived there and who had been there a few years. Anyway, he was heading back to New Zealand and a big party was organised and he could choose any theme he wanted. Fetish and fantasy was his choice. So while everyone else is dressing like a Nun or some sort of gimp, I found I didn't have a costume. I thought "I know, a bin liner will make a fine dress". Basically I spent the party dressed in a bin liner, but with the bonus of the ladies wanting to look up inside it. Exciting eh.
( Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 23:59, Reply)

Possibly the only girl...
to get asked out by a rabbit.

So damn lucky.
(ladyintheradiator, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 22:35, Reply)

Baby Jesus goes to the Zoo
Every year at the church I attended as a child, there was the obligatory Christmas pageant. You know the ones, someone plays Mary, someone plays Joseph, blah blah blah. The year in question, all the younger kids had to be the animals in the stable. I was a sheep.

My younger brother, then about five, announced that he wanted to be a lion. And they let him. So Christmas Eve comes, and here's the nativity with the ass and the ox and the sheep, and a fucking lion. With a mane and everything. Halfway through singing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," he got bored and started roaring whilst knocking over the little kids dressed as lambs.

My mother is still mad.
(Alliath, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 22:23, Reply)

Childhood trauma
Once, in Haven (*up north*'s answer to butlins) my brother and I were informed we were going to be in a fancy dress competition. Yay we thought. My brother was promptly provided with a superman costume.
"What can I be mummy?" I piped up.
So my mum spend a busy afternoon tying my hair into a high ponytail and furnishing me with black trousers, a black top and a huge cone shaped bra - made of cardboard and painted silver.
That's right, I was Madonna.

I was also six years old, had no idea who Madonna was, and ever since have carried round the trauma of being the only six year old with gigantic pointy boobs.
...When I look back on my childhood, I do wonder at times what the hell my mum was thinking....
(jaffafairy, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 22:07, Reply)

Crap costume & sort-of-racist judges
I) Back when I was at school we used to go on skiing trips once a year, and there were many crap activities to keep us kids 'amused' in the evenings, including a fancy dress competition. We had been advised to bring a costume with us as 'Roman' (ie bedsheet togas) and 'Skier' costumes were banned, but I thought I'd just sit it out so brought nothing.
Unfortunately, entering the competition was mandatory. So thinking quickly I just put on all my clothes backwards, and wore a pair of sunglasses on the back of my head. Guess what - my 'Mr Backwards' costume won 1st prize!

II) The following year I didn't win (same costume), but one of the winners was a girl who'd put a fair amount of effort into her '1920's Flapper' costume - floaty dress, heels, beads, decorative headband with feather, you get the picture. She even had the slim, almost breastless, build that was idealised back then. I complimented her on her outfit, and waited for the winners to be announced.
She won second place - as a Red Indian.
I guess it was the fact that her family was from India that had confused the judges. She didn't stop crying all night.
(Plyck, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 21:40, Reply)

never have a camera when you need it.
a friend of mine thought it wud be really funny to go to a fancy dress party as a dick unfortunatley he got sum skin off his arm stuck in the zip so we had to go to the emergency room. i will never forget the look on the receptionists face when snow white walked in with a huge screaming cock. if only i had a camera. he had to have stitches
(torture bunny lives under the kitchen sink, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 21:39, Reply)

Cyndia. As a consolation.
I would have got it.

I love that webcomic.


Check my profile for things I dressed up as randomly.

I'm the only one of my friends who dresses up for tlapd, this makes me sad.
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 21:19, Reply)

Um, oops?
I went to an anime convention's costumed ball, dressed as Rafi from Friendly Hostility (in the satanic priest robe, I might add) back in the spring of 2005.

Unfortunately, my sister, one Goth booth-babe and three Star Wars cosplayers were the only ones who got it. Stupid webcomic.


And then I got thrown out of my hotel afterward. What a fun time.
(Cyndia has shuriken in her pompoms, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 21:06, Reply)

traffic lights
one of us all in red, one in yellow, one in green and one in black (the post).

Didn't really work in the multicoloured disco lights

Although we did confuse a Spaniard by sitting on the stairs in order then standing up and sitting down in sequence
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 21:05, Reply)

rocky horror
3 of my friends decided to go as The Village People (not sure why), one as a policewoman, one as a builder and one as an indian.

due to regulations about not carrying things in, the handcuffs and truncheon and hard hat got taken away making the police woman and the builder look like they were in normal clothes

This left the remaining friend standing out a mile, being 6ft tall and wearing a huge indian headdress

(for comic effect, he was heard to utter on the way out "...so where were the indians?")
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 21:01, Reply)

fancy dress new years party..
at some house to welcome in 2006. I went as a red indian and was rather suave if I may say so myself. however my friend went as a zebra and wore a black and white striped top and black and white striped tights. and she did a black and white striped face.
all very merry until the next morning when she had a grey face and no tights because some cheeky sod had smoked a joint over her while she slept and hot rock burns had laddered them right through. she had to walk home in her knickers.
(lucyloo, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 20:00, Reply)

Toast my fancy dress
When I was about 7 my very 'inventive' dear mum made me a fancy dress outfit for a competition in Butlins where we were having our annual luxury holiday. The outfit consisted of a very girly pretty dress (think Shirley Temple) with toast sewn all over it. I held a banner with the words 'The Toast of Bultins in Bognor'. I didn't win (surprisingly) but did get chased by a angry (and obviously hungry) swan on the way back to the chalet.
It's scarred me for life, I've never been able to wear toast since.
( Penile, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 19:42, Reply)

dead as a dando
So it was back in my days at uni and we had the inevitable hall halloween party. Fancy dress costume of course.

One of my friends completely stole the show with her costume. She had blonde, shoulder length hair. All she had to do was add a bullet wound to the head and have fake blood pouring down her face. Ta da - Jill Dando! (this was reinforced by the 'Jill Dando' sign around her neck)

Oh and this was about 2 weeks after the actual event happened. A gold plated shame.

Funny, mind.
(widdy, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 18:56, Reply)

I was recently invited by a friends in Leeds
to go to a Halloween night out. This was great but I turned up not knowing this and I had fuck all in the way of cash to buy/rent a costume. Cue me spending £1.99 on 2 tubes of childrens face paint(black and white obviously) and mocking myself up as a skeleton...

I looked more like a fucking deranged heavy metal panda. I mean whos ever seen a 20 stone skeleton.
(a man called donkey has been away for too long, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 18:31, Reply)

Blast from the Past
It was titled "Blast from the Past", and we were all agreed it was a shit title for a sixth form disco.

Nobody could think of what to wear. Did it mean that we should dress as an event, or as a person from history? “Blast from the Past” meant nothing to anyone of my friends.

I on the other hand knew exactly what I was going to wear. I'd planned it for weeks, and finally the night arrived. I waited in the boarding house (yes, I did go to public school..) for everybody else to leave, and then donned my clothing. About ten minutes later I finally arrived at the disco, dress as an IRA terrorist! My outfit was complete; I had the camouflage coat, black trousers, balaclava and bomb!

The member of staff on the door who took my ticket wouldn't even talk to me (he had been an Army Red Cap who had served in Northern Ireland). Therefore I didn't speak for about 2 hours. Not even my friends knew who I was. I spent most of the evening pissing myself laughing.

Of course the best bit of the evening was waiting outside the school to be picked up by my parents at 11.00pm!! I scared many a person that night!

(Length, girth etc..)
(deane1980 - I wasn't working at:, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 18:28, Reply)

The Ultimate Warrior
Who remembers WWF, before it became WWE? WWF was great - Hulk Hogan, Mr Perfect, Macho Man Randy Savage, The Mountie... and of course, the Ultimate Warrior. When I was about 7 or so, I went to a fancy dress party as the Ultimate Warrior - I wore my regular trainers and some little white pants, where my mum had painted the colourful green&pink Ultimate Warrior design on (she painted it on while I was wearing them, I might add). I also had face paint, and wore coloured string tassels on my wrists.

I was the coolest kid ever.
(Mr Timmels, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 18:26, Reply)

One very hot weekend in August
A load of my mates staged a charity live rolplay event in some large vast mountainous area in Aberdeen. 2 of the guys had written a story line which took us on a 20 mile hike while being mobbed by the rest of the players at intervals. Im not the fittest of chaps and so my portly frame was made to be an ogre warrior (it was fantasy based) and I fashioned a 6 foot battle axe out of pipe lagging and a padded foam mat used in camping. I had also constructed my armour from layers of the same camping mat covered in gaffa tape and hinged together and this was all topped off by a thick wool tabard and a chainmail hood made from an old ladies silver wool bingo top. I looked quite cool until the first time I was required to run anywhere at which point the general lack of fitness, heat and layers of insulation turned me into a sweaty jelly like state. also my green face paint went a bit streaky. The whole thing was worth it though to stage a full on pitched battle infront of loads of bewildered german hikers. Oh and at one point I got to hike along carrying an 8 foot wooden Balista crossbow as if it were a rifle.

I justify this behaviour as "all for charity"
(a man called donkey has been away for too long, Fri 13 Jan 2006, 18:25, Reply)