Faith was the queen of the school as far as I was concerned.
I knew she had a penchant for France and all things French, so come the school disco, I decided to dress as the stereotype Frenchman - striped jumper, onions, beret &c. I really went to town on it - I managed to get an old sit-up-and-beg bicycle, and even grew one of those awful teenage moustaches (Which as an aside, I thought was rather dashing). I learnt a few stock phrases, and come the day, was able to approach her, wheeling my bike, smoking a Gauloise, and say with excellent enunciation, "Voiulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?"

Yes indeed, scumbags - that was my Fancy Dress Fay Lure Par Tout.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:40, 12 replies)

First time I've ever heard the term "sit-up-and-beg bicycle".
If you're riding it and you're involved in a traffic accident, does it become a "roll-over-and-play-dead bicycle"?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 10:46, closed)

I see you're a transport enthusiast.
*calls Operation Yewtree*
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:07, closed)

Yeah, you've seen my model train collection.
All my trains are exemplary.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:24, closed)

Hello.
You arse.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 18:36, closed)

This is why your friends have all changed their phone numbers and why you'll die alone and be eaten by feral cats.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:27, closed)

Please stop copying my facebook replies thx

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 11:42, closed)

Please stop wishing you were me all over the internet.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 12:04, closed)

I like kicking in the gutter and wishing I was Shambolic

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 12:22, closed)

the gutter and wishing I was ^ 's back doors.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 12:29, closed)

I say!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 12:48, closed)

Less talking, more eating.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 12:56, closed)

Bravo!
Oh, je suis désolé je croix "bis".
Or something.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 5 Nov 2013, 18:38, closed)