I've been reminded of a very peculiar incident that happened some years back
I'd gone out to a shitty "alternative" club with two women: my ex and her friend. Now all night they were telling me that they were going to take me home for a threesome. This was almost certainly a big fib for the sole purpose of winding me up, but it was fun to play along (plus you never know, hey readers? *wink wink*).

So I'd gone off to the gents for a piss, and when I went back down the stairs into the club I couldn't see the girls I was with. So I wandered off towards the dancefloor looking for them, and as I got onto the edge of the dancefloor some girl I had neither seen nor spoken to grabbed me and started kissing my face off.

Confused but not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, and not wanting to risk finding out that she actually was a horse, I allowed this to continue. Shortly she was groping at my belt, much to my further surprise.

She then got the little general out, dropped to her knees and started to fellate me. On the dancefloor. With a semi-circle of people all facing away from us pretending not to notice what was going on. I glanced over at the bar and saw the two women I was with wagging their fingers and pulling the sort of smirking disapprovalface that you usually only get in films starring Kenneth Williams or Robin Asquith.

Being thoroughly confused by the whole incident, I quickly pulled away from my new friend, did myself up and wandered off to try to explain myself.

I did not speak a single word to the fellatrix, nor did I even see her face.

Recounting this tale now, I am no less confused by the whole affair.
(Eukanuba, Mon 17 Feb 2014, 18:43, 4 replies)

I used to occasionally attend
a shitty 'alternative' night in north london which had a resident population of convincing transvestites.

Are you sure you weren't noshed off by a bloke in a wig?
(cs1ca, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 9:08, closed)

i can't honestly say that i'm sure
but if in doubt just remember it's not gay if you pretend it's a woman's cock.
(Eukanuba, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 8:44, closed)

What you don't know can't hurt you.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:53, closed)

I didn't bother reading all of this but you deserve props for using the word 'fellatrix'.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:54, closed)