My Brother Farted E.T. to Death!
I'm not kidding. I was about eight and we were on a cheapo family holiday so all essentially sleeping in the same tiny room in a hotel in La Rochelle. After we'd gone to bed I began having a nightmare about E.T. being ten foot tall and instead of having lovely glowing healing fingers he had massive knives and was pretty intent on stabbing me up with them. I was getting more and more terrified as he chased me through a field in the middle of the night until I reached a deserted town and E.T. suddenly disappeared. Now the real fear began. As I rounded the edges of buildings he would jump out, making that strange 'EEERRRRRR' noise he does in the film when he's startled. Finally he jumped out from behind a dustbin and I tripped and fell over. There was no escape. He towered over me, the lethal blades glinting in the moonlight and promptly spontaneously combusted with a loud noise and showered me in goo. Oddly I could then hear lots of people laughing and I joined in. Terror over I fell into a dreamless sleep and awoke the next morning ready to tell my parents about my weird dream.

"Did you have a nightmare last night?" My mother asked before I could even open my mouth. I just nodded suspiciously. She explained that while her and my dad were enjoying a last glass of wine before bed I'd started moaning in fright in my sleep. They waited to see if I would wake up and watched as I started screaming and clawing at the air. My mother decided to wake me up and comfort me but as she crossed the living room to the bunk beds where we were sleeping my ten year old brother rolled over and let rip the loudest fart my mother said she'd ever heard. I apparently instantly fell silent and my parents burst out laughing. My mum told me as she stood there trying not to wake us up by laughing so loud, I joined in. She presumed it had woken me up so asked if I was alright. When I responded with gentle snoring she just shrugged and they laughed about it some more. So there you have it, my brother farted E.T. to death. Beat that!
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Sat 14 Jul 2007, 15:55, Reply)