Amsterdamn, 1940
There I was, trapped in Amsterdamn in 1940-something. The goose-stepping hordes of Hitler's foot troops were taking the city, and I had taken residence with some Jewish family in a loft. Frank something. There was some bookish girl who kept eyeing me up and writing in her bloody book.
Every day we'd keep quiet, hiding from the Nazis, eating stealth-food like bread soaked in mayonase and week old soggy crisps.
Them were the days.

But, said diet of questionable moist-carbohydrate left me in a terrible situation in regards to the excess gas in my lower intestine.
I kept it brewing for months, never once letting go for fear of alerting the Gestapo with the eggy wif.
Finally the end was in site; only a few months left when one day I just couldn't take it any longer.
Creeping to a window early in the morning, I stuck my rump into the beautiful sunrise and unleased a whopping 12-minute egg-beans-bratwurst-and-kitten silently drifter with triple-dismount-lip-flutter.
The relief was immense.
However, Herr Lipp and his black-clad freunde smelt the foul bum-breath I had birthed, and in short order discovered my hiding place, along with thingy-wotsit and her family.

Only then was I told that Germans didn't need to fear the Nazis! I went home to Berlin, my face red but otherwise unharmed.
The girl released her book so I hear, so it all ended well.*




*may contain lies
( Evilscary off lurking for a bit, Sat 14 Jul 2007, 23:59, closed)