Pretty feet.
Girls in glasses.
Long curly blonde hair.
Nude in public.
Voyeurism.

or any combination of the above = STONK
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 15:08, Reply)

strap yourselves in folks
spanky might well overload this week
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 15:07, 4 replies)

I don't think I'll be answering one this week.
Have a kitten instead.


( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 22 Oct 2009, 15:03, 7 replies)

I like it when I visit the local Special Needs school and spread jam all over my crotch, then a gaggle of Down's Syndromes come and blow raspberries on my nutbags.

They each get a pat on the hunchback and a Ryan Giggs panini football sticker. Not a shiny one though mind, I don't like spastics that much...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:54, 5 replies)

got quite a few
Men wearing watches
Men in suits
Group sex
Being sworn at

And more ;-))
(acerboyz, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:53, 10 replies)

my college
occasionally has bops with weird themes. Fetish was suggested for one, and a friend of mine got really excited planning her costume (it was actually cancelled and changed for fear of frightening the freshers.) I asked to see it, and she showed me a wedding dress and some white makeup/ red blood.

"What are you going as?" I asked cautiously.

"Corpse bride," was the reply with a roll of the eyes. "Just in case there's any necrophiliacs there."

Edit: Is death a fetish? Maybe it's a bit immaterial?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:51, 3 replies)

In these days...
...of fisting, rimming and felching; with gangs of paedo's roaming the streets, local councils opening one-legged lesbian table-tennis clubs, beautiful lady-boys confusing naive young soldiers; and leather clad, mustachioed gays trying to corrupt our youth - I do feel like a man out of time in that I really pine to have missionary position sex with a voluptuous woman sporting 70s style knockers and an unkempt fadge - AND spill my seed inside her rather than giving her a facial.

And if she ends up with child, I shall marry her.

Dr Tugnut2 - Kicking it old school in the fetish stakes. Boyeeeee!
(Tugnut I got them all..., Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:48, 8 replies)

Anything with automation, and so a roasted pea.
Whilst home alone of an afternoon, I like to create increasingly more contrived methods of automating masturbation.

Mainly because I'm a lazy bastard tbh.

Anyways, after various experiments with powertools and anything I can find about the house, Mrs SLVA and I were doing some serious redecorating so we hired one of those paint-shaking machines. The sort where you clamp a paint-tin in it and switch it on and it oscillates vigourously, and saves you having to stir it manually. A bit like this,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjILdcKel3E&feature=related

Anyway, wife goes out and I go searching the house for parts to make a machine-penis interface. I fabricated something with a few layers of felt, rubber bands and gaffa-tape.

I started the machine, it was perfect. So I laid on the table next to it, got into position and set it going at about 60%.

Well that didn't take long, maybe 8 seconds. I'd struck gold in wanking efficiency.

Within maybe just over a minute, I'd cum 7 times and things were getting sticky. So I reached for controls, but in my ecstacy the machine had shuddered out of reach.

This was worrying as I scrabbled around looking for something to cut the power with, pull the plug out, anything. It didn't make it easy the fact that I cum two more times.

I was getting light-headed and was beginning to get distressed, though this was regularly punctuated with climaxes which were producing less and less fluid.

After maybe ten mins, I lost count at about 23 or 24. I lost track of time, but when Mrs SLVA finally came in and rescued me I calculated that I'd been hooked up to it for best part of an hour and had probably orgasmed maybe 40 times. I looked like someone had varnished my belly.

The muscles behind the penis-root ached like hell. I now have groin muscles like Geoff Capes' biceps and when I shoot my load now I can crack mugs on the other side of the room.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:31, 11 replies)

I don't understand the attraction of sexual fetishes

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:24, 1 reply)

I have a few...
I have a fetish for grey jogging bottoms...

and sports kit...

and grey sweat shorts...

These are apparently quite common festishes for gay men...so I feel normal :)

Also have a fetish for men in suits...especially city workers or bankers...this is a weird one...dunno where it comes from.
(scotsbloke, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:18, 6 replies)

Not so much of a fetish for me, per se, but for her.
I once went out with a girl who was very, very sensitive. I found that I could get her to orgasm simply by kissing the right places, such as:

1) The crook of her elbow
2) Her collarbone
3) The base of her thumb on her right hand
4) The palm of her left hand
5) Behind her ear
6) Between her shoulderblades

etc etc.

The main issue was that she'd run out of juice (so to speak) after the 5th or 6th orgasm. With her stupidly hypersensitive body that meant I'd never get anywhere myself.

At least now I can sympathize with women whose partners suffer from premature ejaculation. No fun at all.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:14, 4 replies)

I'm really into
getting off as quickly as possible with someone who then shuts the fuck up and lets me sleep. Washing and ironing is a nice to have.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)

I went on a few dates with a girl once...
She seemed nice enough, had a kid which put me off slightly (not that it was going to be used in the lovemaking process of course!). So anyway, things had been a bit quiet for a while when all of a sudden, I'm round a female friends house for the evening, about 11.30 I get a picture of this girl, completely without prompting, in just her undies. Very nice I thought... didn't respond cos I was busy... a minute later, another picture, slightly less clothing. This went on for about half an hour until I'd seen every inch of her naked flesh.

The following morning she texts to ask if I got the pics, when I replied and said "yeah all seems to be in order there" she started telling me she likes it quite rough and doesn't really know how to go about getting it like that, without advertising and attracting psychos. I might be able to help I say, always the altruist. Then the following text convo starts:

Girl A: "Would you tie me up?"
Me: "Yeah no problems, done a bit of that before"

Girl A: "Would you strangel me?"
Me: "Erm yeah I'll give it a go, done it once or twice before"

Girl A: "Properly though, with a rope, none of that lame putting your hand on my neck a bit"
Me: "Yeah sure, why not?"

Girl A: "Will you slap me?"
Me: "Yeah, anywhere in particular?"

Girl A: "Arse, thighs, tits, face"
Me: "Yeah if that's what you want?"

Girl A: "Would you punch me? Hard, all over, including my face?"

That's the point where I stopped responding... there's a fine line isn't there? Couldn't imagine her explaining to her 3 year old daughter the next morning why Mummy's got two black eyes and a fractured cheekbone!
( JebediahSpringfield, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:59, 3 replies)

I'm currently dating a girl who can't get wet unless I lie about my sexual exploits on internet forums.

( Zuowan, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:59, 4 replies)

Since the early days of the web...
for some reason I've always found slow loading images to be rather titillating.
( rofl harris, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:54, 5 replies)

Tits.
Just because I can be the first to say it.
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:53, 2 replies)

My Fetish
Definitely when the misssus dresses like this :

here (NSFW).
( bluemeat has been best of all the animals since, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:50, 22 replies)

not really a fetish but still rather odd
mrs spimf can come in under a minute by the simple act of me rubbing my nose on the top of her forearm (the point where you have blood taken). yes it does look and feel stupid.

full on shuddering orgasm.

yes, i married a weirdo.

EDIT: Mrs Spimf has asked me to point out she is not 'a weirdo' it only works on her right arm.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:44, 6 replies)

I'm rather partial to sex with guys who post on internet sites disparaging other people's posts without actually posting anything interesting themselves.
Anyone know where I can meet someone like that?
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:44, 10 replies)

Is this a fetish?
I really like girls with an Irish accent (they tend to be Irish funnily enough)
Or Emo chicks, all that eyeliner, piercings, tattoos, black and the colours in the hair. Fit! Wait, maybe that is a fetish, I do like piercings. Wouldn't have one myself though. Fuck having a needle stuck through me. Got tattoos though so I dunno why I can't bring myself to get any piercings :/
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:43, Reply)

is this just CHCB gathering ideas for the honeymoon

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:41, 2 replies)

dated a girl into fisting
What the hell? My cock felt so inadequate after that... What good is my little guy gonna do after my fist has been rummaging around down there?
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:35, 6 replies)

I'm rather partial to
lesbian porn, as it happens.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:34, 6 replies)

Mumra

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:31, 6 replies)

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( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:31, 27 replies)

I don't know the name for it
The curve where the top of the thigh joins onto the body, before you get to the belly.

Sexiest bit of a woman.
(ragged, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:29, 9 replies)

Old women.....
Gilfs if you will.
( bane, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Visit Off Topic.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Coming second
nuff said
(flynbo puts this one down to his misspelt youth, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 13:28, 1 reply)