Best Student Films... riiiight
A few years ago I was working at the University of Toronto radio station (not even my own university, but that's a different story). I was the assistant to the program director, so every once in a while, I'd be dealing with someone who wanted to get free commercial time for something, and since we were a community radio station, sometimes we said yes.

One of the events we gave free commercial time to was a film festival of the best student films from the university. They'd gotten their hands on the student films of Atom Egoyan and David Cronenberg as well, which was admittedly pretty cool. Now, the guy who was in charge of this festival was a young guy and unbelievably gorgeous. Like, I just wanted to lick his face every time I saw him. So imagine my delight when he invites me to the screening of HIS student film.

So naive I was.

Believe me when I say that this was the worst movie I've ever seen. I don't know what I was expecting, being a STUDENT film festival and all, but I'm pretty sure the only way this guy's film got into the festival was because, you know, it was his festival.

His movie was an incredibly thin-veiled retelling of the Jesus Christ story, except that now the Jesus guy had been in Vietnam and then got involved with anti-war protests and... ugh. His best friend was named Jude. Seriously.

Silly me, I thought to myself, "Well, this is a student film, so it'll be, what, 30 minutes? At maximum?"

No. It was 90 minutes long. It was the most boring hour and a half I have ever, ever experienced.

I thought about asking the guy when, exactly, Jesus decided to set off bombs and kill innocent people, or to take guns into palaces and assassinate government leaders, but then I realized I'd have to spend more time talking about this late-term abortion of a movie.

Jude, of course, betrays his friend and tips off the Feds (or something) who then kill him... So then Jude takes a gun into a courthouse and starts killing judges. I have absolutely no idea why.

Oh, I forgot my favourite part: the character based on Jesus? His last name was LeCroix.

If that's too subtle for you, don't worry! At one point one of the other characters says, "LeCroix? Isn't that French for 'The Cross'?"

Ohhhh NOW I get it.
(Katanma sleep enthusiast, Sun 20 Jul 2008, 20:23, closed)