Fanny batter with a light menstrual drizzle
Back in the day, I used to work behind the bar in a popular local hostelry.

One evening, a co-worker got chatting to a rather friendly young lady as closing time approached, and took advantage of the break between clsoing time and chucking out time to get better acquainted with her in the rear of the premises.

After half an hour of what must have been some mighty fast work our hero retuned with what appeared to be a drawn on red biro beard which on closer inspection was not drawn on or was it red biro.

The large blood clot heading south from lip toward chin gave the game away to the exact nature of the newly acquired "beard".

To this day I don't know what was worse, the sight of it, or the other nine bar staff not telling him it was there until one of the customers vomitted in the doorway at the sight of it.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:01, 3 replies)

Presumably he did all this in the dark then
and didn't have a sense of smell and managed not to get any blood on his fingers
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 16:26, closed)

possibly
I didn't watch and wank.

If I'd known then maybe.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 19:35, closed)

Or on his tongue...
Maybe it's just kids these days?
I dunno :(
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 21:46, closed)