A few years back

Theres nothing like hitting the town with a bunch of squaddies after crawling around in mud and crap all day.
I was just 'one of the lads' and therefore got to see all kinds of manly malarkey fun and games on these nights out.
One of these was for someone to pick out a woman and bet someone else to see if they could pull her.
Just a snog and her phone number also counted as a win
Within a given time limit.
Usually up to an hour max.
If they didnt win they had to buy a bottle of spirits to take back for a nightcap.
Now buying a bottle of booze in a bar isnt cheap so I was glad I never had to play that one.
Until one night.
I get slapped on the arm
Oi why dont you have a go
Me? no way
why not?
Er cos I'm a girly (ok so no real logic there but I needed any old excuse)
Another slap.
Dont be daft, you're one of us.
( i think there was a cack handed compliment somewhere in there)
Just pick a target for DD
Oh fuck,
DD is about 6 foot 3, looks a bit like Daniel Craig with muscles, and has a quite plummy accent.
Looks like I'm going to buying the booze tonight.
Hes grinning at me like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush.
So a quick check on the rules?
So I have to pick a woman in this room?
Yep.
Any woman, any woman at all?
Yep
My choice stands, no matter what?
Yep.
DD isnt grinning now, probably wondering what munter I'm going to settle him with
Ok says I, and I take a look round the room.
Now DD is a looker but he's also an arrogant tosser and were not exactly best mates.
But I give him my best smile and say DD you have 15 minutes to pull........................me
Of course it all goes a bit shouty for a while , lots of you dont count etc
But I'm a woman and im in this room and my choice stands remember.
A bit of conferring and the lads agree.
DD walks off
Someone asks him where hes going
Off to the fucking bar to buy a bottle

yay me :)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:29, 4 replies)

Heh! Nice one!
Have a click.

Army training, using your initiative - excellent.
(Capo, Thu 7 May 2009, 19:44, closed)

Nice.

'like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush' you say?


Yoink!


*click*
(anvil, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:42, closed)

thanks :)
hee hee,
I heard someone say that phrase once and knew there would come a day when I could say it
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:19, closed)

I saw it in a book a long time ago
Merlin, I think it was. But a very weird version of the traditional story.

EDIT: Knew I had it somewhere - Merlin, by Robert Nye. Recommended.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:06, closed)