A story about not gambling.
Milton Friedman once famously said 'There is no such thing as a free lunch'. I'm sure he is entirely correct. What he failed to mention was a free dinner.

In 2004 I moved down to Portsmouth as a student, naive in that ways of the world. Being away from home for the first time, I was wide eyed, fresh faced and a bit of a chancer.

My halls of residence were right opposite a casino - the Grosvenor on Commercial road. We first worked out after a big night out that the casino stayed open until 4 am, and as long as you behaved yourself they were more than happy to serve you beer until then. The only proviso was that you had to change up about £10 worth of chips.

One evening an older guy in a sharp suit and shiny shoes turned up, changed up £100 worth of chips, sat at the blackjack table, all the staff flapping round him, getting him drinks, and snacks and finally a big plate of steak and chips.

Being skint, a student and always after food, the prospect of steak and chips was too much to bear. Steak is unobtainable to almost all students unless in a food parcel sent from home, in fact I ate very little meat at uni just because vegetarian food was cheaper, leaving more money for beer. To me the idea of a big juicy steak was irresistible, I had to get some and soon.

I knew there was another Grosvenor Casino about a 15 minute walk away in a new shopping and leisure complex. The next day I shaved, got my suit on, polished my shoes, even ironed a shirt.

I walked into the casino, changed up the sum total of my entire bank balance - £255, I still have the receipt pinned to my corkboard. This really put the shitters up the staff, a young guy, well dressed, changing up a large amount of money with a devil may care look in his eye. Having sat down at the bar I was offered a beer which I took, the manager came over and introduced himself and handed me the restaurant menu. One ribeye steak rare and chips and peas please. I sit at the bar biding my time, acting cool, my dinner arrives. I eat it all.

I meander over to the blackjack table play the sum total of 2 hands, I lose both hands, change my chips up and leave £2 poorer but one dinner and two pints richer. I managed this charade once a week alternating between the casinos for a couple of months before the manager collared me for taking the piss. I ate an awful lot of steak in that time.

The moral of this story? Not gambling but acting as if you might will, in the right circumstances, get you a free dinner.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 20:59, 11 replies)

ooooh
clever, i like it :)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:16, closed)

Or a kicking.
There's the real gamble.
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:32, closed)

Clever
bunny
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:05, closed)

good work!
pure win-ness
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:28, closed)

I live in Portsmouth
And made quite a bit of dough from the Gunwharf casino. Not tried that trick, though.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:37, closed)

This reminds me of my boss's remark
that if he lost all his money he'd make sure the one thing he kept hold of was a really good suit, because with that, you can always get free food and drink - there's always some kind of wedding/convention/seminar going on somewhere that you can blag your way into.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:35, closed)

Nice story mate.
Plus it included the word steak 6 times.
Bonus.
(TheColonel, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:30, closed)

Steak is like many things
The more of it the better.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:18, closed)

Now that's fucking
marvellous! If only I had the sense to do something like this instead of pissing my student loan away in about half an hour of speed-induced lunacy...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:29, closed)

I think...
It says a lot about Portsmouth (I'm born and bred btw thus allowed to cast aspersions) that it takes the cashing up of a mere £255 to get a casino manager excited. :-)
(Princessbadger, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:52, closed)

I had fun in Portsmouth for a bit
In the end I couldn't wait to move away though. I used to have to walk through Somerstown to get to lectures and town. It could be pretty terrifying after dark!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:37, closed)