Watch out
I've gone off the song 'Maneater' by Hall and Oates.

Every week I run miles and miles. Thousands of steps. Steps over rocks and steps over concrete and puddles.

Some while ago, I put rocks into my coat pockets and rocks into my rucksack and I sat alone on a cold beach. There was a sign for no dogshit please and there was a shut down ice cream parlour and there was no one there and in my hand there was a bottle of gin and then the gin was gone. I was obsessed with doing it on holiday. It just sounded so...statemental. A clue to a deeper question, hidden in the banality of my answer. I sat and drank the gin while the sea smirked white smiles, and the wind; the wind howled. I saw traces of sand blown in wisps along the shore and I looked for meaning, and I found a meaning and so I quickly steered my thoughts away. I debated leaving my shoes on the shore. A plastic epitaph by Shoe Express. But I wanted more to vanish entirely. I wanted most for almost every single thing I'd touched to be washed so it would be clean of me. I started to walk into the sea and the waves lapped at my knees then at the black hole in my belly, then at my throat and I could feel the rocks and the waves, and the sand of the shore, and the wind howled. The sea tasted of cheap salt. Of bad tears. While all this was going on; the gin and the wind, the way the big rocks had been turned into meaningless sand, and the way the sea just fucking sat there, the salt, holidays, I had the song 'Maneater' by Hall and Oates in my head. It amazed me that, at a time supposedly as portentious as this, I could have a fucking song in my head. I stumbled as I sang, "watch out boy's she'll cheeew you up". The waves covered my head to the saxophone riff.

I was underwater, hoping for meaning. But all that I could hear was 'the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart" It got so that I knew if I took one more step, I'd be free. One more step. But I couldn't. I couldn't take a single step. Instead, I dropped the rucksack with the rocks, turned round and headed back to the coast.

Then I went home to my family and no one knows. Dried out, stopped over thinking. Mental, really. But,oh, every time I hear that song.

That rucksack and the rocks are probably still there, under the surface.
(sirolimus, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 17:27, 41 replies)

b3ta

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 17:06, 3 replies)

Starsky and Hutch.
When I was 9, that was by MILES the best thing on TV.

I downloaded an episode of it a while back, and it was bollocks.
(username failed moderation, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 17:04, 9 replies)

Trifle
I recall getting really excited by trifle as a kid.
Made one recently and sat there wondering what the fuck I was doing eating layers of cold custard, tinned fruit, cake crumbs soaked in rum, and cream, with hundreds and thousands on top. I mean, cold custard is pretty shit. The whole thing was shit. If I want fruit in booze, I'll drink Pimms.
This is why adults don't eat trifle. It's shit.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 17:00, 10 replies)

the walking dead
first series was good. lots of zombies and running away to save your lives, that kind of thing. then it turned into little house on the prairie with corpses. wtf? i assumed that a show called the walking dead would have a lot more, you know, walking dead.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 16:52, 20 replies)

Video games
Considering I've been playing games since the day I found my thumbs I find this rather difficult to write, but I've gone right off playing games lately. I bought a few from the latest Steam summer sale and I've got a fairly expensive Xbox library, it's just there isn't anything particularly original anywhere in there. There's loads I haven't even finished. The few shining examples of games I enjoyed were Gunpoint and Papers Please; both indie developed games and both rather quite good.
It's the big budget games that promise brand new innovations and expansive multiplayer experiences and grand sweeping storylines that I feel so let down by these days.
Assassins Creed 3, for example. I thought it was going to be awesome, an opinion based on teaser trailers and such, yet the story turned out to be shite, the gameplay very samey and super glitchy, and the dlc addons that SHOULD HAVE BEEN available to anyone who paid for a preorder package and yet WEREN'T. Games these days are full on shite.

Mind you, I'll always have time for Just Cause 2 and Prototype 2. Them's the tits
( Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 16:38, 25 replies)

Most Radio 1 DJ's *
Mind you I am an old fart and they have basically said they want us to all fuck off and die.

* Even the non-paedos
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 16:26, 3 replies)

Nobody's said b3ta yet.

( Zuowan, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 16:09, 3 replies)

Pink Floyd were always shit, some people just realise it quicker than others.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 16:00, 26 replies)

A camel.
Oh, wait, 'gone' off. I read that as wanked.
(username failed moderation, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 15:01, 39 replies)

i once liked something but now i don't

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 14:55, 9 replies)

Sometimes I like Mars bars and sometimes I like Double Deckers.
But I rarely like both at the same time.

A fascinating insight I'm sure we can all agree.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 14:19, 18 replies)

Qotw suggestions
I have gone off these since 'MOTHS!' And 'too much hot in the bath' got unfairly overlooked.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 14:13, Reply)

So anyway, I was running a bath, when the 'phone rang.
Long story short; I put a bit too much hot in.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 14:03, 1 reply)

My suggestion was better.
I've gone off YOU!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 13:59, 6 replies)

at a tangent
also:

the boil
half-cocked
kilter
the rails
on one
at the mouth
in a huff
message
the record
etc.
etc.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 13:51, 9 replies)

I've gone off watching lesbian BDSM porn
I started finding the production values a bit slapgash
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:59, 4 replies)

the edge

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:57, 2 replies)

I used to be a bit of a gun nut
So much so that, when I lived out in L.A., I got a job in a gun shop. It specialized in sawn-off shotguns, except for a cleaner cut the proprietor used a thin curved blade to finish the process once the outer layer had been sawn through. Now, we'd sell these guns to all sorts: young, old, even the odd celebrity. The day David Hasselhoff came in to collect an order was the day that changed my opinion of guns forever.

He strode to the counter, all glistening chest hair and denim, and I presented him with his purchase: "Here's your thin-scythed gun, Hoff"

fuck off
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:42, 2 replies)

Optimus Prime.
He's prolly only about no.13 in my favourites chart these days. I think I know why: he stinks of old kippers. Maybe I could wash him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:39, 23 replies)

The deep end.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:38, 1 reply)

Yeah I voted for this but I've gone off it already.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:35, 1 reply)

long story short my cock has gone off into my own mouth

(alright alright, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:31, 1 reply)

1st !
being first is just so passé
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:31, Reply)

I was eating my tea the other night
when I realised the milk had gone off.
( Pig Bodine., Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Your mum

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:20, 2 replies)

QOTW.
Do I win £5?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Aug 2013, 12:18, Reply)