Spotted in Crewe, 2001ish
Someone had gone to the trouble of printing out loads of sticky labels and posting them all in a single alleyway near Coppenhall School. They all bore, word processed, the following message:

Jessica Lightfoot
SUCKS COCK
For rock

typed exactly as above.
(olaf the hairy, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:52, Reply)

Alan Partridge
The last series had just come out and it was the day after the Dan episode (Lexi - plural!) I was walking in Hyde park, Leeds, staring at floor in that way that stoned people do. Then I saw it, emblazoned on the path...DAN! I continue on, ten yards up? DAN!
A further eight times until I reach the end of the park and the jokester has written 'He must not have heard me'

I cross the road and there it is...DAN!

It made my day.
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:50, Reply)

He Wins!
There was a street sign not to far away from where I live, and the street name was called "The Winsters".

It was repeatedly changed to "He Wins" with clever application of white paint.

Made the locals around there driving past have a chuckle....
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:50, Reply)

On a building near Macclesfield Station
There's some date stamps for the building in question on the panelling.

1st panel: Erected: 1881
2nd panel: Enlarged: 1941

Then, spraypainted with a complete lack of writing ability:

3rd panel: CUMD! 2001

Come on for fucks sake if you can't spell ejaculated leave it for someone who can. Thick cunts. Gotta love Macc.
( johnselekta last posted something equally unfunny on or before, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:44, Reply)

Euston station bogs
Not the best graffiti but definitely the best indication that people are scum. Spied in a cubicle in the ladies lavs at Euston:

"Now wipe your pussy and your arsehole please. Thank you"

Charming
(angelica666, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:36, Reply)

Tsk the state of educashun
In the bus stop I use every day to get to work is the following illuminating slogan in tired black felt tip: Tristan ov clifton

In the same bus stop: Adam Measom is gay

Bet they were up all night composing those little legends.
(TheGizoid wowling since, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:35, Reply)

Best Graffiti Ever?
On the back wall of the Ramsgate royal mail building for at least 2 years is

"JAY H SUCKS BLACK COCK".

Not really the best, top 5 maybe.
(fredwest2, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:28, Reply)

... on the back of a car...
in sticky labels stuck over the rear number plate of a red Honda Jazz, written on in marker pen:

"I LUV COCK".


In fairness, I followed the bloke for about seven miles then got him to pull over...
(clearasmud, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:26, Reply)

You should all understand
if, like me, you grew up dancing to ska.

Saw this on a train in holland

love it.
( Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Wed 9 May 2007, 13:24, Reply)

Turv
My very good friend and breakfast show host on Power FM Gold in Tenerife (http://www.powerfmgold.com/default.asp) took my lawn mower and wrote 'I A Gay' on the back lawn.

Not the funniest post but a good excuse to plug his show (listen live on WinAmp).
(Danny Fishcharge Half arsed, smart arsed, on & off a lard arse sinc, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:23, Reply)

the back end of a bus...
... in plain, easy to read letters in the dirt: "CHASE ME YOU ARRIVA FUCKERS".


cowboy bus companies rock.
(clearasmud, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:23, Reply)

Sign over the pub
A pub I used to frequent, back in the old town of Stockport, used to be run by Alf, the landlord and his wife (whose name escapes me).Now she was a big,unwashed, unpleasant character, who had no right being any where near food and drink that people were going to consume!
When they left, after some "Fraudulent " cash till activity, they took over another establishment called the "Cow and calf "
Passing the new pub a few weeks later, it hadn't taken the locals long to remove the "C" from calf. Talk about "Ronseal " Spot on !!!!
Only Minor apologies for length .
(Betty Boothroyd's Love custard Tourettes at the KOB, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:22, Reply)

in uni computing building
there was:

"There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't."

didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
(gin'll fix it, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:21, Reply)

Just odd.
'So I punched him in the squash' used to be carved on the wall of the mens toilet in The Druid, Cambridge, MA. If anyone knows what the fuck that is about please let me know 'cos I still worry about it.
(DrTugnut, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:18, Reply)

Hallelujah!
'Jesus is Just' sprayed on the pub toilet wall - to which someone added 'a cute jewboy in a loincloth'.

The genius is that it can offend so many people at once.
(DrTugnut, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:16, Reply)

Polly
When I was at school (around 1981/2) one of my classmates, Michael Pollington, or Polly as he was universally known, decided it would be funny to daub his name in 3ft high letters on a railway bridge next to the school. His little prank was soon discovered as the bridge in question was in full view of nearly every window in the school and as I mentioned Polly was a well known character. He got a massive bollocking from the head and even got into trouble with the British Transport Police. What a twat.
(urgle-splurgle molesting small goats since, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:05, Reply)

political
This one dates back to the height of the troubles in Northern Ireland in the 1980's. It was during the time of the IRA prisoner hunger strikes. A mural was painted in a staunchly republican area of Derry commemorating those who had died. Under the mural in big white letters was the slogan 'Remember those who had to die'. My friend's uncle, being a bit of a protestant bigot, went out late one night with a tin of white paint and added a 't' onto the end of die.
(spartan, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:04, Reply)

Best Ever Graffitti
On the wall of a foul smelling bog in Kings Cross station was the epithet,
"I'm 9 inches long and 4" round"
Somebody had added with hilarious results,
"are you a ferret?"
Pure class.
( porky, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:04, Reply)

best graffiti I've seen in a while

Enough Said
(ray bentos, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:02, Reply)

ummmmm
at my local park, which I regulalrly stroll through, there seems to be a sweetie lover.
Massive yellow letters on a brown fence proclaim,

ROLOS
TOFFOS
MENTOS
POLOS
WHAMS

is it a favourites list?
why do they all end in 'os' except whams?
can you still get whams?
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Wed 9 May 2007, 13:01, Reply)

Stupid football lovers...
On the front of a Rangers supporters locker he has clearly written the word "RANGERS" along it. Clever huh? Someone added an abbreviation for it : "Rangers Are Never Gonna Ever Reach Second".

And im confused. Is that...slagging off the team or supporting them? Is it as if to say that, they're so good they'll never fall down to second place? Or that they're so shite they'll never get to second place, never mind first place?

Help. :(
(LiquidRogue Powerful tiny fists..., Wed 9 May 2007, 13:00, Reply)

A rather satanic one
I found a weird message on a wooden playground fort thing in a park near my old school, which read:

"The day shall come when the dead shall rise
And the good will burn in the skies
Heaven shall fall
And God shall kneel."

No idea if that's taken from anything, but it's stayed with me for well over a decade.
(MSB Load universe into cannon. Aim at brain. Fire., Wed 9 May 2007, 12:56, Reply)

In a cafe toilet...
"Warning : Water is very hot!" above the sinks, put there by cafe owners.

Someone had written "Well, get a fucking thermostat!"
(LiquidRogue Powerful tiny fists..., Wed 9 May 2007, 12:48, Reply)

In East Ham C1992
Donna Hicks, sucks dicks.
(Cameltoad, Wed 9 May 2007, 12:36, Reply)

Not quite graffiti*, but what the hey......


*On account of the plastic tie holding the sign in place making the gap, not paint or tippex, etc
( mooglemania Please disregard this sig., Wed 9 May 2007, 12:26, Reply)

Poor Tracy Jenkins.
Waaay back in the early-ish 80s, spray-painted on a wall running alongside a lengthy alleyway, were the following (as best I can remember after all this time):

"Tracy Jenkins is a slag"

"Tracy J. is a whore"

"T. Jenkins is a tart"

"T.J. (is a) hooker"

I wonder if she even existed?
(fuckitall out of here, Wed 9 May 2007, 12:21, Reply)

I have a couple of favourites that I have seen
1) On a condom machine in a hospital toilet; 'For refund please insert baby.'
2) On the very bottom of a hostel toilet when pack packing in Vietnam, doubled over in the throws of explosive diarrhoea; 'May be you shouldn't have had that spicy curry.'

Lastly one, I must confess, I did myself. I was living in Oxford Street in Sydney (probably the biggest gay community on the planet).My local had a sign in the toilet had a guy in a thong with a packet on condoms hanging out of them. The slogan read 'When in Rome' and I felt compelled to add 'Visit the Vatican and see the stunning architecture.'
( riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 9 May 2007, 12:14, Reply)

badly written racism is SUCH an easy target
The gents bogs of a former work place of mine was emblazoned with the wonderful turn of phrase:
'I hate fucking Pakis!'

underneath which someone had written:
'Well dont fuck them then!'

made me giggle anyway
( bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Wed 9 May 2007, 12:13, Reply)

glas-gay
On the map of Queens Park in Glasgow showing where the flag pole is (and I believe highest point in the park - the view is loverly) someone wrote:

"Sex home for gays".

Every visit to the park was punctuated with a quick look to see if it was still there. One day it wasn't.
(cannonfodder fodder for cannons on, Wed 9 May 2007, 12:11, Reply)

Well
A few years ago I was taking a three mile walk home from a night of rather heavy drinking. This route took me along a fairly busy main road out of town, which at the time was having a bit of redevelopment done to cope with the congestion - roundabouts and traffic lights being added, that sort of thing.

I guess the workers had assumed they were far enough from civilisation to fear anyone meddling with their site, and had been a bit slack on tidying away all their equipment.

One of the items they'd left there to tempt a drunken eye was a can of the yellow paint that they use to put those markings on tarmac.

How could I resist?

For ages afterwards I feared seeing myself on some comedy security video clip - some drunken idiot very carefully spraying "CUNTS!" in yellow paint across a main road.

I felt quite ashamed the day after, the usual hangover guilt that follows a night on the booze I guess. In the years since this act seems to have achieved some sort of legendary status.

I still have yellow paint on my DMs...
(thing in a jar prepare the mindbeam!, Wed 9 May 2007, 11:49, Reply)