brain freeze
out for a meal on my mate's birthday. he'd decided on the chinese "all you can stuff down your gullet for a tenner" place in town, because they had duck and pancakes on the buffet.
the night was going well and everyone was enjoying themselves. i'd pretty much filled up on green-lipped mussels in black bean sauce, but i'd been careful to leave room for one of my most favourite things: ice cream.
i've always been a world-class troffer when it comes to ice cream, it's one thing i can never resist.
i quickly polished off one bowl* and went back for a second. i whapped a huge scoop of frosty, creamy loveliness into my bowl and sat back down.
"you shouldn't eat so much ice cream" my mate warned. "you know it upsets your stomach." now, when it comes to being told not to do something, i'm still a petulant little brat at heart and will immediately do what i know i shouldn't.
picking up the entire scoopful on my spoon, i shoved it into my mouth and, after a brief struggle, swallowed it.
it took about ten seconds for the brain freeze to hit.
i jumped up, clutching my now pounding head and yelling something along the lines of "OWFUCKINGOWBASTARDBASTARDCUNTYTWATTHATHURTS!" as my mates creased up. even the waiter was laughing at me.
luckily, our designated driver was drinking coffee and, after a mouthful of his caffeinated juice, i felt much better.
i'd really like to say i won't be doing that again, but i know myself far too well.

*to be fair, the bowl was quite small.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Apr 2011, 20:38, Reply)